Authors-choice: Hope & Revival

I have dated many guys, and I can tell you it was hard for me to know which one was right for me until I met my boyfriend, Mark. In a short time, we couldn’t see ourselves living without each other. Here are 15 ways I knew that he was the right man for me to marry.

1. He is emotionally available. He is not afraid to tell me how he felt, when he is hurting he even cries in front of me. Best of all he is ready to begin again, to start a new life with me. If he could not do those things, I believe our relationship would have been doomed.

2. What was important to me was important to him. The things I hold dearest to my heart were the things close to his heart too. I wanted to children, he loved children. I loved God and loved going to church, he was willing to come. We shared common core beliefs and values. Connecting on an emotional and spiritual level can be just as powerful as a physical connection.

3. We got along with each other’s friends and family. Though, I don’t love all his friends and family and he doesn’t love all of mine but, I am able to all get along with them. There are no deep-seated issues between me and his friends or him with my friends. It is always a bad sign if his friends are terrible, untrustworthy people. Your friends are a reflection of who you are.

4. He supports me emotionally. No matter how stupid my ideas are, your guy should support you. Even if your dream is to climb Mount Everest, he should provide you with emotional support, just like any good friend of yours would. If he can’t, he’s out.
5. I feel like I can be my true self around him. You cannot marry someone unless you can be yourself — your best, and your worst. If you’re afraid to let him see your flaws, he’s not the guy for you to marry. Sure, in an early relationship, there’s some hesitation, but there should never be actual fear. If there is, it isn’t right.
6. He never keeps score. He’s not stingy with money; when I ask him for money he gives me more than I ask and never wants it back. If your guy when you ask him to borrow you a penny, he will bring up that penny every time you speak, text, or see him after, until it’s paid, or until one of you dies. Or maybe he keeps score emotionally, tallying up every little squabble you’ve had and who was right and who was wrong. This is the wrong person marry. This is a person who is so petty that being with them turns into a chore. Don’t make someone your chore. You have actual chores. I’ve seen the kitchen, you should get on that.
7. He is not negative about everything. I’m a bit of a sarcastic person sometimes, but even I see the wisdom in finding positivity in the world. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is negative all the time about everything. From traffic to your future together, if every damn thing makes him groan and roll his eyes and go off on a tangent about how everything sucks and there’s no point, you are better off alone.
8. He makes me laugh, and also laughs with me, and never at me. If you you’re your boyfriend a joke and he never laugh, then he despises you, he is vicious. Someone who does not laugh with you or find fun in anything you say or do cannot really love you.
9. We brought out the best in each other, not the worst. We encourage each other to grow personally, professionally and emotionally, recognizing that change is positive and healthy.
10. We trust each other and can count on one another to do the right thing. There’s no jealousy or second-guessing in our relationship.
11. He respects my person and I respect him. He sometimes kissed me on the lips for a few seconds only, an affection I appreciated, but which did not stimulate  our sex desire. We never did the “French kiss” (a kiss with the tongue) or prolonged kissing on the lips along with pressing the other against you that some of my friends did with their boyfriends. These led them to have sex outside of marriage leading to selfishness and a focus on self-satisfaction. When sex is involved, break-up and the resulting pain is more intense. When you have not been sexually intimate and decide to break up, the separation is less devastating.
12. Because of his maturity, we did not date for too long. We saw each other for several days at a time at least a couple of times per month, for 3 months when we suddenly discovered our relationship was something exclusive.
13. He was ready to make the commitment moves. I stopped seeing other guys, and he stopped going out with other girls. And soon, we were so close that we really could not see living our lives without the other. Three month later, we engaged and married. We have been happily married now for 8 years now with seven lovely children.
14. Be wary of men who just keep dating and dating. They are tricksters and just wasting your time by making you invest your energies in a relationship that goes no where. I am not saying you should be obsessed with marriage, but you should not be just “dating” after six months. That’s too long to not be committed to a serious phase of your relationship and moving toward engagement and marriage.
15. Lastly, always remember that the key in succeeding in marriage is not just finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. No matter how right, Mr. Right is, you need to work at loving. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. Love NEVER just happens!. There is no such thing as “finding a lasting love.” You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression – “labor of love.” Through little things, it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work.