Never Forget Your Spouse: The Story of Three Yellow Roses

10 02 2014

Never Forget Your Spouse: The Story of  Three Yellow Roses

I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn’t hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories Rudy often came with me and almost every time he’d pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. I’d always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands. Rudy knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief, I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since Rudy had passed on. Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how Rudy had loved his steak. Suddenly a woman came beside me.
She was blond, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large pack of T-bones, dropped them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled. “My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don’t know. I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. “My husband passed away eight days ago,” I told her.
Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice. “Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together.” She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away. I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. A quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream section near the front of the store. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice cream cone. I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blond hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. These are for you,” she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. “When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for.” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she’d done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn’t alone. “Oh, Rudy, you haven’t forgotten me, have you?” I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and she was his angel.

12 Secrets of Happily Married Women by Theresa Thomas

30 01 2014

Happy marriage

Happily married women share certain characteristics. This list of secrets of the happily married woman is gleaned from anecdotal research gathered over a period of 27 years. Some women may have one child. Others may have three or four. Still others have ten or more. All find happiness in marriage following similar suggestions. These are in no particular order, and it goes without saying that prayer for one’s spouse is the best way to start. Enjoy and apply if you too wish to be happily married:

1-Happily married women exercise

Whether it’s bicycling with the children, working out to a fitness video, or taking a class, happily married women exercise. They know it provides better energy, better fitness, better health, better sex, better self-image, and makes them better able to accomplish their goals. They also know that example is a great motivator and that husbands (and children) are more likely to exercise and stay fit if wives (and mothers) do.

2-Happily married women eat well.

Eating well keeps a healthy weight in check and hormones (thus moods) in balance. It also staves off illness and disease and helps keep a radiant and youthful complexion. Happily married women carefully shop and plan for nutritious meals. They know a good outcome is dependent on a good input. They nourish their bodies and the bodies of their families by cooking healthy, nutritious meals and limiting unhealthy treats. They keep chemicals out of the mix, trying to provide as ‘clean’ of food as possible. They eat to live, not live to eat. Happily married women make mealtimes enjoyable and pleasant.

3-Happily married women take care of their appearance

They keep their hair clean and styled and their nails neat. They exercise (see #1) and take care of their bodies. They enjoy selecting attractive clothes and the proper use of cosmetics, while being prudent so as not to slip into vanity or materialism. Happily married women are secure in and enjoy choosing what they like to wear at the store, considering the family’s budget, and they enjoy following the cues of what their husbands like them to wear, not because they are subservient to them, but because they enjoy pleasing the men they love.

4-Happily married women nurture their intellect.

They are smart ladies (sometimes with only a high school education but with an openness for continual learning, but often with advanced degrees) who stay current with events and ideas. They are logical and rational, and develop well formulated opinions that are not thrust upon others but are offered in sweetness even while firmly when the occasion arises. They read and think. They discuss important issues with their husbands and others. They are life long learners. They offer their ideas to their husbands, and when they disagree, they do so respectfully. Happily married women apply their best knowledge and wisdom to their homes and families.

5-Happily married women have a softness and compassion about them

They are kind, empathetic and understanding. They listen. They do not allow their emotions to get out of control. They do not resort to insults, sarcasm and jabs. If they make mistakes in this regard, they are quick to admit it. They are nurturing and caring. A husband of a happily married woman comes to her for her opinions because she is not only smart, but her demeanor welcomes the man and makes him comfortable to express himself truly and be received without harsh judgment. A happily married woman’s suggestions to her husband (or corrections to her children) are given in warmth and assume a right intention. She knows the woman is the ‘heart’ of the home. She is the nurturer of relationships, a balm, an oasis of peace for herself and others. She looks for the good in her family, and usually thus finds it.

6-Happily married women have manners.

They are polite and courteous to their husbands, children, clerks at the grocery store, mail carriers, and all others they meet daily.

7-Happily married women encourage their husbands to spend time with their male friends

They know that this helps a man recharge. They know male friendships are important to him, just as female friendships are important to her. When the couple spends time apart with like gendered friends, they come back together refreshed and renewed in their relationship, with more to share and enjoy. Happily married women know their husbands appreciate their support and this makes them treasured in the husbands’ eyes.

8-Happily married women greet their husbands with a smile, eye contact and a hug at the end of each day

If they both work outside the home, a happily married woman does not wait for her husband to greet her but thinks of him and greets him first. Stay-at-home mothers drop what they are doing to provide a warm welcome to the men who have vowed to provide and protect and love them and their children for the rest of their lives. They know this is just a small gesture that can buoy husbands up and keep them happy, encouraged, and renewed in faithfulness toward them and the children. They happily allow husbands some private time to unwind before joining the family. They know that just fifteen minutes of their husbands relaxing after coming home from work mean the husbands will be attuned to the family for the rest of the night.

Sometimes, happily married women even set up foot baths or fill up the tub for their husbands for them to enjoy when they come home. They ignore people who tell them this is old-fashioned and outdated advice. While the divorce rate climbs yearly, happily married women know they will never be part of those statistics because they love to love. The critics may criticize and naysayers abound, but happily married women continue to love their husbands and children unselfishly. They are not going to let a women’s movement or other people’s opinions interfere with their family’s happiness. They are wiser and know better.

9-Happily married women have a sense of humor

They find fun in living, humor in difficult situations. They smile. They laugh. They cultivate a general light-heartedness which becomes infectious in the family.

10- Happily married women have high expectations.

They expect the best of themselves and their husbands. They are firm in upholding high morals and character. They take time to rest. They respect themselves. They cultivate meaningful interests. They give all and expect to be treasured and treated like ladies. And they usually are.

11-Happily married women anticipate their husbands’ needs.

They know that a man needs not only love and respect, but admiration and approval. And happily married women are not stingy in this regard. Using their knowledge of their shared experiences together, happily married women anticipate what their husbands need and want (just as they do for their wives) and these women enjoy providing those things to their husbands.

Happily married women know the importance of an active and imaginative sex life: that it is not only fun and relaxing, but releases stress, and bonds the couple psychologically and emotionally. Making love is a vitamin for the marriage, and the happily married woman knows this and welcomes intimate time with her husband.

12-Happily married women have a servant’s heart

They put their families first, but they also find time to mentor younger women. They find joy in sharing what they know. They give to others with joy, as time and resources permit, but they realize their priority is their own families. They incorporate the works of mercy into their daily lives, starting first with their own families. They do not keep score as to who has done what for whom. They embrace their work and vocation with joy. They see their husbands as best friends and helpmates, and frequently put themselves in his shoes to understand his points of view. They tenderly care for the home and children, realizing that to love and be loved is the greatest reward of all.

Thank you!

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