Gay man finds God Watching TV Nun

20 11 2019

Paul Darrow went to his first gay beach when he was 15.

Soon after, he hitchhiked his way to New York, where there was a thriving gay scene and where he could pursue a career in modeling. Once there, he landed a high-end job as an international model and rubbed elbows with celebrities at clubs in the city.

When he wasn’t at the studio or at the gym, Darrow spent his time looking for partners. He found himself going through dozens, and then hundreds, and then thousands of lovers.

“It became frantic, and it was never my intention…but I became insensitive to what it means to be with a partner, both body and soul,” he said in the documentary film, “Desire of the Everlasting Hills.”

But after the AIDS epidemic claimed around 90 percent of his friends, a disease he himself narrowly and miraculously escaped, Darrow decided to move to San Francisco for a fresh start. He met his partner, Jeff, there and they moved to a cabin in Sonoma County.

It was in their shared home that Darrow accidentally discovered a one-eyed, straight-talking “pirate nun” wearing an eye-patch who would change his life forever.

“It was so strange that I said ‘Jeff Jeff come in here! You gotta see this!’” he said, pointing to the image on the T.V.

Unbeknownst to them at the time, it was Mother Angelica on EWTN. She had just had a stroke, which pulled the left side of her face into a slump and required her to wear a black eye patch over one eye.

“So (Jeff) comes in and I’m laughing mockingly at this nun with a patch over her eye, a distorted face…and a complete old fashioned habit,” Darrow said. “We both mocked her and laughed at her, you know, ‘Gosh these crazy Christians.’”

Jeff left the room and Darrow was about to change the channel, when Mother Angelica “said something so intelligent, so real, and so honest, that it really struck me,” he said.

“You see God created you and I to be happy in this life and the next,” Mother Angelica said through slumped lips, her good eye still twinkling behind her glasses.

“He cares for you. He watches your every move. There’s no one that loves you can do that.”

Mother Angelica’s words struck a chord with Darrow that day, and he found himself secretively snatching glimpses of her episodes every chance he got.

Mother Mary Angelica of the Annunciation, foundress of the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN), passed away on March 27 after a lengthy struggle with the aftereffects of a stroke. She was 92 years old.

“She really had…a huge influence on my life, and I learned to love her,” he said, “but at the same time, I had to hide her.”

“So when I turned off the TV, I would always change the channel so that when Jeff or whoever was watching that TV came in, they would never see that I was watching Mother Angelica. And it reminded me as I was doing this of when I used to turn the channel when I was watching porn because I didn’t want Jeff or anyone else to see a porn station come up.”

Eventually, Mother Angelica’s influence convinced Darrow to go back to church after decades of absence. It was a move that made Darrow very wary; he was sure he would lose friends and clients if they saw him going into a Catholic Church.

And in some ways, he was right.

“I lost clients, I lost friends,” he told CNA in a 2014 interview at the premiere of the documentary.

“People were in shock that an educated, relatively intelligent man could believe in Jesus Christ. These were the few friends that were aware that I was back in the Church.”

But it’s a move that he’s never regretted. Since his conversion, Darrow has shared his experience through talks and conferences. Mother Angelica also led Darrow to discover Courage International, the
Vatican-approved apostolate that reaches out to Catholics with same-sex attraction with the goals of growing closer to God, engaging in supportive friendships, and learning to live full lives within the call to chastity.

It was through Courage International that Darrow became involved with the film “Desire of the Everlasting Hills,” which he saw as a chance to share his story and to give others the same hope that he found in the Catholic Church.

“I was not discriminated against at the beginning of my journey back to the Catholic Church, I was never told that I was a bad person, that I was doing something wrong, even in confession,” he said.

“The Catholic Church really is, according to its teachings, open to everybody.”

Darrow said he felt he owed it to God to share his story through courage and through the film because of all that God had done in his life.

“I wanted to express my love to God and my appreciation for all that He has done for me,” Darrow said, “that He had never forgotten me during the decades that I had forgotten him or turned against him.”

The full documentary is available for free online at everlastinghills.org/movie/.

Originally posted on Catholic News Agency





Most inspiring Woman in 2019 spent 35 yrs in death row

15 11 2019

As we near the end of 2019, people are beginning to look back on the year at the individuals and events that have defined it. The BBC, for example, has compiled a list of 100 women considered inspirational in a multitude of different contexts.
Among the 100 women proposed by the BBC, one has been completely hidden and silent for 35 years, in order to protect the success of her mission. She is a Catholic nun from Singapore and her name is Sister Gerard Fernandez. She spent a good part of her life on death row—that is, accompanying prisoners condemned to death, doing her best to open their hearts to ask for and accept forgiveness, and preparing them to meet God. The story of this religious sister takes us into the most sordid depths of the human soul where, indeed, only the power of God’s mercy can reach.

A truly black sheep
Today Sister Gerard is 81 years old. She finished her mission in prison in 2017, which is why her story can now be told; for all the years she was at the side of those condemned to death, she too was “dead to the world,” that is, she performed her mission in secret and in silence.

It probably makes sense to tell this story starting with the most shocking episode: In 1981, Singapore was shaken by a terrible event: the killing of two children in order to perform a magical ritual at the hands of an alleged medium, Adrian Lim, with the collaboration of his wife Catherine Tan and another woman. All three were sentenced to death. Sister Gerard was deeply affected by the tragedy, because she knew one of the victims, who was only 9 years old, and she also know the father of Catherine Tan, one of the murderers.

She wrote to Tan, who replied from prison after six months, signing the letter as “Catherine, a black sheep.” The nun went to visit her in prison, where she says was met by the culprit’s sad eyes that said to her: “You haven’t condemned me. Please help me change.”

Going after the lost sheep
The parable of the shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to follow the one that is lost could almost be called romantic. What it means to accept the request for help of a murderer who killed two children pulls us to the brink of a cliff that not all shepherds, however good, would be willing to go down.

With a serene voice that patiently measures out her words, Sister Gerard explains to a journalist, with amazing candor and radical humility: “There is still hope in their hearts, and this has changed me.” The starting point is not the will to change someone who is “bad,” but the fact of being changed by a glimmer of light glimpsed in eyes of a person no one would like to meet.

She stayed seven years praying at Catherine Tan’s side, until the day she was hanged. Starting then, Fernandez’s place was on death row (executions in Singapore continue to increase in number). Throughout her 35 years, she came to know many different stories, but with one common denominator: “They begin to face death, to know a day will come when they will be told, ‘This is your last week. On Friday, you will be hanged.” Now, I’ve walked with them, preparing them for that moment. And when that moment came, their hearts were ready.” (from The StarTV)

Using a rather inadequate image for such a serious context, we might think of a bouncer stationed at the entrance of a chic night club, who selects who may enter. Sister Gerard is the “anti-bouncer”: she throws souls in, not out. She has made herself available to accompany and encourage those sincerely open to returning to God, even under a thick blanket of sin. There is no sinner willing to take the step who cannot be guided to repentance.

“Don’t make me out to be a saint”
Sr. Fernandez has been too much in touch with the realities of life and death to be flattered by the attention she is now getting. She says, “Don’t make me out to be a saint, because I’m not. My ego can be as big as a satellite. But I try to use the dark moments to become better.” (from The Straits Times)

Calling her a saint could be taking the easy way out. Yes, she’s admirable, but her example is not beyond reach. Her life teaches us that God can lead us, little by little, to places we never would have imagined in His service. Some are called to live their Christian mission to the extreme, on the peripheries, but sometimes those peripheries are within us. All of us carry inside us certain dark corners of our heart that we don’t want to open to God, because we deem them too shameful, too unsightly. Yet, there is no dark corner that God cannot illuminate with the light of his grace and forgiveness. We are all called to conversion, and we are all called to recognize that God’s mercy is greater than any sin — ours or someone else’s.





Inside story of a death bed convert

8 11 2019

One of the sweet things about being a priest is being able to minister at a person’s deathbed.

The veil between this world and the next is very thin at that point, and you can see so much. When I say you can “see” so much what I mean is that so much is revealed. At that point the person who is dying is usually very vulnerable and open. Their worldly facade is fading. Their accomplishments and pride are forgotten. They realize that all the stuff of this world will soon be left behind.

Often the person is quietly sleeping. The family is gathered around and there is no response as the last rites are given. On the other hand, sometimes the process is very conscious. More than once I’ve been called to visit a man or woman who has called the parish office specifically because they know they are dying and they want to see a Catholic priest.

So I once made my way to a small apartment in a not so good part of town. I was admitted to find a man in his sixties with a haggard expression gasping for air. Call him Ralph.

“Are you a Catholic priest?”

“I am.”

“It’s about time. I’ve been calling all around town for the last three weeks trying to get hold of a Catholic priest.”

“I’m sorry. It looks like you’re pretty sick.”

“Yep. I’m dying. Doctor says only a few more weeks. They can’t do anything for me.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Lung cancer. It’s my own damned fault. I couldn’t give up smoking,”

“Uh huh. Why haven’t you seen a priest up til now?”

“I was in the hospice and when I asked they sent some old guy around wearing a blue shirt. That made me suspicious so I asked him and he said he was a Methodist. I told him to get lost. I want a Catholic priest. So off he went and a few days later I asked again and they sent some woman around wearing one of those shirts priests are supposed to wear. I knew she wasn’t a Catholic priest, so I told her to get out and go find me a Catholic priest.”

“Why didn’t you send for your parish priest? What church do you go to?”

He laughs, then starts coughing. Coughing really bad. I think he’s going to cough his lungs up—what’s left of them. Finally he stops laughing-coughing and says, “Hell, Father I haven’t been to church for fifty years.”

“Then why start now?”

“Because the nuns told me when a Catholic is dying you’re supposed to call the priest. Right?”

“Right.”

“And I’m a Catholic and I’m dying so I called a priest. What next?”

“Well, are you prepared to make your confession and receive the sacrament of healing?”

“Is that the same as last rites?”

“Yes. Do you want to make your confession?”

“That might take a long time….” starts laughing-coughing again.

“I’ve got as much time as it takes.”

So I began to hear his sad old confession of a wasted life and tragic losses. There were tears on his side first, then on mine. I gave him absolution and promised to bring him communion the next day, and that communion was one of the sweetest things I can remember. He was like a little child. He had faith. In fact he had nothing but faith.

Then after communion and a blessing he lit up a cigarette. “You shouldn’t smoke.” I said. “Those things are going to kill you.”

He thought that was hilarious.

A week later his carer called and I went to see Ralph again. This time he was in bed in a darkened room. There were no family members there. He’d screwed his friends, alienated his kids and divorced his wife. He was alone.

I sat by his bedside. “Ralph, who is with you right now?”

“Nobody Father. Nobody, and it’s my fault. I admit it.”

I took out my rosary. “Do you remember this?”

“Sure. The nuns taught me to say the rosary.”

“That’s who is with you now, Mother Mary.” I give him the rosary. “You’re going to die soon, but I want you to hold on to this rosary as you go. She and your guardian angel will see you across the river. Are you good with that?”

He whispers, “Sure I’m good with that.”

Do you want me to say the prayers for passing?

He nods. I pray. He goes to sleep, and a few days later at his funeral his people are surprised to see a Catholic priest show up. Nobody knew Ralph was a Catholic.

When I told them how Ralph died there was total silence and reverence, and in some strange way Ralph, who was a pretty lousy Catholic in life, bore a radiant witness to Christ the King in his death

This article originally appeared on Fr. Dwight Longenecker’s blog

Visit his website, browse his books, and be in touch at dwightlongenecker.com.





Stones would cry out: Kanye praises Jesus

31 10 2019

I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out!” Confound me if I am wrong, but are not these prophetic words of Jesus being fulfilled before our eyes. When so many Christians have denied their love for Jesus and embraced adulterous paganism; when christian celebrities shriek with horror when someone tries to associate them with Jesus in public for the sake of the worldly glamour, stones, men you least to expect are praising Jesus, in public and at the top of their voices. A lesson for all to see. Watch notorious Kanye West, rapper and songwriter and Chicago bad boy praising Jesus





12yo girl soon to be made a saint

29 10 2019

On October 24, 1941, in a Brazilian village, a boy hid in the bushes in hopes of catching a 12 yro girl called Benigna off guard when she was fetching water. He was hoping to rape her, but she valiantly fought off his attempts and prevented him from forcing himself upon her.

This refusal added fuel to his rage and the boy took out a machete and started attaching Benigna. He made several blows, the last one killing her instantly. The boy fled, but her body was soon found. He was eventually arrested and spent most of his life in prison. In 1991 he was released and returned to the site of the murder, sincerely repentant of what he had done.

Benigna’s heroic example became an inspiration for the local people and in 2011 her cause for canonization was open. On October 2, 2019, Pope Francis authorized her “martyrdom,” paving the way for her beatification in Brazil.

She will join the ranks of Maria Goretti as a “martyr for purity,” highlighting the beautiful gift of sexuality and how it is to be preserved and used in the right way according to the plan God has created for it.





Caught off guard, Hillary calls on Jesus Mary and Joseph

23 10 2019

If you want to know how tough someone is, put the fear of death in them. When the light fixtures at a studio where young Hillary Clinton and Bill were having a TV interview, she thought she was going to die, calling on Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Today she is a self proclaimed atheist, denying the right of the unborn and persecuting Christians. Yet as Dolly Patton said, “I don’t see many death-bed atheist, when the time comes, they all start cramming. Death is inevitable and calls out all our pretenses because when death calls, truth answers.  The best advice is to live as you wish to die.

Watch Senator Ted Cruz speak on Hillary’s views on abortion below





Incredible story of a man who gave his kidney to save another

20 10 2019

At the twilight of life, our actions will speak who we are. Nothing speaks louder than the acts done to save the life of another. Here is the story of man, Justin, who promptly chose to give one of his kidneys to a man whom his wife told him needed one. The story began when Nicole, his wife returned from work and told him that one of her customers at the star buck office was in need of a kidney or he might die. “I will give him mine, ” replied Justin to the amazement of his wife who initially thought he was kidding. But Justin met the man and one thing led to another, tge became friends and within a few months, made the arrangements and donated one kidney to him. You can read the full article here>https://t.co/YmqmoXwrbJ

Watch the video here








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