The face of America: Why Gosnell is the honest face of pro- choice

13 09 2020

There’s an African proverb that says that if you want to eat a toad, you should look for a fat and juicy one, so that if anyone calls you a toad eater you would answer to who you are.
Recently, I summoned up the courage to watch the 2018 Gosnell movie, the trial of American biggest serial killer, which is simply the story of physician who runs a filthy hospital in Philadelphia, filled with aborted body parts, who was arrested in 2011. Fainthearted, I opened all the windows, and sat trembling before the movie started, unsure of what I was about to witness. In the end I was glad I watched it, the movie was cleverly done, without traces of gore and more importantly, it answered the question I have been waiting to ask:
“What is the difference between Gosnell and the others abortion providers? The simple answer is none. Rather, he is more honest, because he embodies the American dream of effective and efficient service delivery. In 1972, he had experimented with inserting electric powered spinning knife blender into women’s womb and crushing babies like pawpaw juice, but it didn’t work and some many women died.
But America wants abortion and that is what Kermit Gosnell is all about. He is ready to deliver, fast and cheap, and good businesses, to compete, cut cost. Kermit Gosnell is a good business man, who knows that it is faster and safer to induce delivery and then kill the child rather than go inside a woman’s womb to kill a child. That’s the efficient way, the American way. Like he said those who made these laws are rambling idiot “I have no respect for any of them” and rightly so.
Gosnell lawyers put it more succinctly to the neatly dressed woman ( perhaps from Planned Parenthood) who testified during the trial that she has done more than 30000 abortions but never had to snipped the spine of “a born alive child” with a scissors.
“What would you do if you have a born alive?” The lawyer asked.
“We never have any,” the woman replied.
“That’s because you inject potassium chloride in to the womb to kill the baby, but hypothetically, what would you do if you have a “born alive?”
“We would make sure it is comfortable and allow it to die.”
“Wouldn’t it be more merciful to just snip its spine.” The lawyer asked the hypocritical jury. There was silence.


However, there are plenty of lessons in this movie for women who ask for abortion. The moment they take that decision they should not blame Kermit Gosnell for what happens next. It’s their call, their choice, their body. Similarly, the state of Philadelphia is saying to them, “Though it is your right to get rid of your baby, nevertheless, once you seek out people like Gosnell and place yourself in their hands, accept the consequences, don’t expect the state to interfere, inspect, or inquire.
America is likewise saying to them, “You want abortion; you get it, with all that comes with it. Don’t expect the press to report what happened, they aren’t going to do that because you won, women have won the right to do as they please with their bodies and we will let them.”
And why shouldn’t Gosnell’s clinic or any other abortion clinic for that matter, smell? Are killing fields expected to smell like roses? During the French Revolution, it was said that the fetid odor from the guillotine could be perceived from miles away. Likewise the grisly death camps of Auschwitz II-Birkenau did not smell of jasmine. What’s more, the child whose life is snuffed out garners no advantage even if the place was as exquisite as Buckingham palace.
Perhaps, the filthy smell and grime should have flagged the unfortunate women of the fowl thing they had embarked on. The filth should have brought them to their senses, to run away and put their trust in God who can unlock possibilities. Every abortion is a fitly act.
I would argue that Gosnell is the most honest face of American pro- choice or more accurately, pro-death movement. The filth and smell they decry are tangible manifestation of the final consequences of pro-death. Gosnell’s calloused indifference and self confidence mirrors the swaggering pro-choice America, champion of freedom, yet killers innocents. It’s the face of a legal system that protects dogs but permits egregious violence on the unborn. Gosnell calls out many Americans who, like ostrich, bury their heads in the sand rather than face what they know in conscience is evil and wrong.

In truth, the real hero of the movie is the relentless blogger who without pay and against the denigrating attitude of smug lawyers and police officers, managed to bring the trail to the world, thwarting the mainstream mafia code of silence. She deserves credit and she demonstrates that truth can no longer be gagged by money and politics. She stands as model of how social media could be used for good as opposed to frivolity or worse, evil.

by Chinwuba Iyizoba





Critical review of movie “Unplanned”

29 08 2020

Unplanned  is a movie based on the bestselling biography of Abby Johnson, a young woman whose passion for helping women led her to join planned parenthood, an organization that claims to help women by promoting abortions. Abby would later rise to become a director in this organization. However, her near death experience while aborting her own baby refuted the organization’s assertion that abortion is safe and risk free.

Furthermore, the organization’s affiliation with Margaret Sanger, a racist who promotes abortion of blacks and handicapped raises many questions. Her disillusionment reached a climax when one day she was asked to assist in an abortion procedure and she found herself staring for the first time at an ultrasound image of an unborn child in womb fighting desperately for its life before suction.

When the abortionist doctor jokingly called for more suction pressure, “Beam me up scottie” Abby fled the room and from the organization, convinced that she had made a terrible mistake joining them. From then on, she would dedicate herself to spreading awareness of the wickedness of abortion.

Though the movie is rich in vivid images and gives cinematographic satisfaction, it however fails to capture the interior workings of human conscience, for instance, there was a scene when the abortion clinic staff refused to go outside because their consciences were troubled because a nun was praying and weeping outside the clinic because of their work. Likewise, the movie couldn’t help viewers imagine the grief and remorse in Abby conscience because of the two abortions she had (as she recounts in the book). Similarly, the movie was unable to help viewer capture the love, patience of her dedicated husband and the faithful love of her parents, all which seem to converge as a sign of God’s power working on the human conscience. Her encounter with the reality of abortion during the procedure in which she had to assist with an abortion and her seeing the struggles of the tiny fetus shim away from the suction probe was only the climax of the long chain of events probing and prodding her conscience to accept the reality as what it is.  Perhaps, the contrast between the book and the movie, could serve as a pedagogical evidence of books superiority over movies in portraying the full spectrum of human experiences because no matter how well a movies is made, it often misses out in what is most interior, most intimate in the life of the characters

Abby’s story is a witness to the infinite mercy of God who never abandons the most reprobate but rather with infinite patience, and unobtrusive love continues to draw the penetrating light of truth to convict. In addition, this story is also proof that it is never too late to return to the right path and that no matter how far of the mark, the grace of God can bring us back. Furthermore, this story highlights the perennial importance of the Christian concept of “hating the sin” but “not the sinner” as a most efficacious means win people over. Shawn, Melissa, Elizabeth and the other pro-lifers because they treated Abbey with love and respect, made  it was easy for her to turn to them for help when the grace came demonstrating that error, blindness and defensive justification all fall away with an encounter with a non judgment love,  a personal love that is unconditional.

The story is also an important lesson on the mysterious efficacy of prayers. Many people are often tempted to abandon prayer after a while when it appears that things aren’t changing. The  pro-life crew who prayed daily outside planned parenthood clinics and were occasionally tempted to discouragement because they were unable to see the fruits of their efforts. Thus they were stunned when Abby revealed to them that there were observable decrease in numbers of women opting for abortion each time they were praying.

Lastly, despite its problems, the movie offers valuable insights into the inner working of the abortion industry, but even more interesting, it demonstrates a way for people on different sides of the abortion argument to come together drawn by the truth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhgCvUyZSHs

by Chinwuba Iyizoba





Why LGBTQ+ advocates are pushing into shelters for homeless women?

18 03 2020

Rep Mike Quigley, recently attacked Dr. Ben Carson for not implementing laws permitting men to sleep in single sex shelter for homeless women.

Quigley, a democrat and an avowed LGBTQ+ advocate accused Carson,  United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, of delaying the implementation of an Obama era laws that granted full access rights to people who are not women but who say they are (Trans- women)  into single sex shelters for homeless women.  Carson said he has been delaying implementing the laws because it compromises the safety of women, exposing them to the real possibility of sexual assault.

Carson argued that everyone gets equal rights but no one gets extra rights. He said that throwing open the doors of single sex shelter for homeless women to biological males who claim to be women would violate the rights of women living in these shelters. It would be in fact permitting transgender rights to ride roughshod over the rights of women.  Carson recounted stories of homeless women terrified of hairy-legged men having full access to their bathroom.

however, Quigley ignored him while attempting to portray him as a bigot fostering discrimination against Trans-people who the law granted every right to be in the same shelter as women regardless of the risk.

 “Are you saying that if someone doesn’t like someone else in that shelter, for whatever reasons, that you can allow discrimination against those people,” Quigley scoffed.

“No, what I’m saying is that we have to take everybody’s feelings into consideration,” Carson replied calmly. “You can’t just select a group and say that their feelings trump everyone else’s groups.”

 Carson then called out Quigley for being passionate about transgender rights and asked him to proffer a solution that can ensure fair and equal treatment and harmonize the fear that real women have in sharing room and board with transgender. Quigley retorted that his solution is simply to apply the law and give the LGBTQ+ all they want irrespective of the objections of the traumatized and abused women.

You can watch the video below

All over the world, advocates of transgender are pushing laws and legislation to criminalize ordinary people who disagree with or hold views opposing theirs.  The powerful Trans-lobby and what they want is not acceptance but the jettisoning of values held to be true by every right thinking person.

Transgender ideologues preach that biological sex is not the same as gender and that people can be born in one sex but identify in another. Put plainly, a man can choose to be a woman anytime and in any place and the law will protect him and compel people and institutions to accord him the privilege of being a woman!

This might sound crazy to right thinking people but that is how it is. They are ready to use force, the coercive power of law to arm-twist those who do not agree. The United Nations on February 2020 released a document that claimed that religious reasons are the top reasons why people discriminate against women, girls,  gays, lesbians, bisexual and LGBTQ+ people and henceforth  urged governments the world over, to use force of law to curb religious freedom rather than violate the rights of LGBTQ+ people.

Yet many religions cannot accept this new and scientifically unproven transgender theory regardless of momentum. Christianity and specifically, the Catholic Church, holds a view confirmed by science that sex is the same as gender and that there are just two genders. According to Patrick Parkinson, a professor of law at the Queensland University in Australia,  the Christian principle of “love thy neighbor as yourself” applies regardless of people’s  sexual orientation, and no Christian can mistreat a transgender person  without violating this principle. He went on to say that, the idea that gender is fluid as touted by the transgender movement is as unscientific as it is ambiguous, and people of faith cannot accept them especially when it imposes a burden that cannot be borne without injury to conscience and faith.

Such was the case of a 24-year-old teacher in a Cathedral High School in Indianapolis who contracted a gay marriage in clear violation of what he knew was the school’s stands. The school authorities, after a long deliberation, forced to chose between interminable court cases on the one hand, and on the other, a real possibility of losing its catholic identity and scandalizing young pupils, they decided to terminate his appointment and face the music. The teacher filed a lawsuit in July last 2019. Luckily, the United States Department rallied to the defense of the school citing that the first amendment right protects faith-based group’s freedom of religion.  As of today there are numerous lawsuits that gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and LGBTQ+ persons or their sponsors have  filed against faith based conscientious objectors coupled with intimidations, vilification and harassment of dissenting voices be it in politics or the academia.

Scientists explain Transgender as a kind of madness, as a neurological disorder. According to a research on the new Atlantis online journal, many Trans-people suffer from mental illness and suicidal ideation—symptoms not necessarily alleviated by sex change operations.  Yet rather than provide medical help to these people, the United Nation and many powerful agencies would rather force us to accept without choice or questions their theories and bend our minds to theirs.

This refuted theory, promoted by mainstream media and Hollywood, is trying to convince the world that there is a ‘gay gene’ just like there is female gene, that gays and LGBTQ+ are thus “born that way”, and thus since it is unconscionable to discriminate against women or girls because of their gender, it’s wrong to discriminate against Trans.

The problem is that unlike real women who have a fixed gender. Trans-people get to choose their gender, even without relinquishing the advantages that the birth gender gives them. Thus, a man who says he is a girl can compete in high girls high school sports against biological girls and have legal protection to do so.

The decisive factor here is that Trans-activists want to accepted as biological girls, boys, men or women and not as transgender. They are not fighting to hold on to what they believe but to destroy what everyone else believes. They wish everyone else to do them the favor of dismissing their worldview and swallowing theirs hook line and sinker and the United Nations wants to make sure they do that legally.

Yet, they say that the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Somebody regrets it all.  Walt Heyer, a business executive, a husband, and father, went from being a man to a woman at the age of 42, lived as a woman for 8 years, and did not like it. He has since returned his manhood and is now exposing the lie behind the transgender ideology. He says that transitioning to a woman did not solve his problem and even compounded them and he has since started a website to help others in his shoe who feels tired of the lies to come out and return to their normal life.

“No one can change his or her own sex, it is impossible, it is delusional, and it is a mental illness,” Walt says at the beginning of this documentary.

What drives this strange ideology?

The simple answer is money. Trans sex conversion therapy is a 200 million dollar industry and it is expanding; surge in demand means that manufacturers of hormones blockers and estrogens are making large profit; spikes in double mastectomy and genital reconstruction surgeries in Europe and America means that surgical clinics are struggling to meet demands and smiling to the banks.  Moreover, for those who change their minds, an even more expensive re-conversion procedure ensures no end to this flow of money.

 Politicians get donations and campaign funding. Transgender moneybags funded the election and re-election of Barack Obama. Former United States Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, in his book, “Duty, a Memoir,” said that Obama took anything that affected the gays or LGBTQ+ people, personal. This perhaps will account for why the former president passionately promoted LGBT+ agenda all the way to Africa.

it is however doubtful Africans will ever buy into this dangerous hoax on the scale seen in the west. Reason being that African cannot afford it. Sex conversion surgeries cost money, the kind of money only the super rich can afford.  Expectedly, it will remain a malady afflicting rich countries. Still it is doing a lot of harm. 41-year-old Marcus Fitz of California says that the clinic physically butchered him during his conversion surgeries, and that it traumatized him mentally. Many are disappointed with the result of the painful and expensive genitalia reconstruction that hardly turn out like the real thing. It is high time the world held the  United Nations and dishonest politicians like Mike Quigley accountable for their double standards in condemning female genital mutilation (FGM) in Africa whilst encouraging young boys and girls in the west to mutilate themselves by surgically removing healthy breasts and penises under the influence pseudo scientific transgender ideology.

Chinwuba iyizoba is the Editor of Authors-choice





Justice Chinwe Eugenia Iyizoba JCA

24 01 2020

Special Valedictory Court Session: (Pictures) Fri 24th Jan 2020





Marvel superhero, Evangeline Lilly says nudes she did 20 years ago still haunt her.

2 01 2020
Evangeline Lilly

Any self respecting person would be indignant if asked to peep through a key hole to watch people having sex. Yet no one grips at the millions peeping at sex scenes in blockbusters movies. Men, women and children, young and old round the globe sit with glazed eyeball glued on nudities and even perverse sex on their screens and no one bats an eyelid, as Shylock movie directors rake in billions at box offices. But there are hidden costs and sometimes actors and actress pay dearly for it.  Marvel superhero, Evangeline Lilly freshly revealed that nudes she did 20 years ago still haunt her.

Lilly did partial nudes on hit TV show called “Lost” that ran from the mid-to-late 2000s. She said that at 20, she was pressured by cutthroat directors who told her in no uncertain terms to bare it or lose it. She added that she will never do nudes again now that she has control over her career. She said hated those scripts casting her as a sex object.

“I did throw scripts across room when I’d read them,” she scoffed.

And she is not alone. Famous actress, Mila Kunis, was once told she would have to pose half-naked on the cover of a men’s magazine to promote a film. When she refused, a producer reportedly threatened her by saying, “You’ll never work in this town again.”

With executioner’s axe hanging over their contracts, young actors and actress debase themselves on camera; years afterwards, it returns to haunt and humiliate them, their family and friends.

Even though no one talks about it and no advocacy groups fight their causes, it is without doubt that no one should be subjected to this shamefulness.  Normal people cherish their privacy. Few sane men invite their bridge club to watch them making love to their wives or post videos of their bedroom antics online for every eye to see, it shouldn’t be surprising that many actors and actresses deeply detest these roles.

 “I can’t ever imagine myself doing nudity in a film,” superstar Magan Fox told MTV News in 2009. “It lives forever, especially now, with the Internet. I just can’t. I just can’t…Literally all I have left are my private parts and I don’t want to also share them with the world. I’d like to keep them private. That’s why they’re called that!” Read more

 Funny that in backwater Africa, only criminals are paraded naked on the streets, it appears that in the more “civilized societies”, stars that are paraded naked.  Though they drape a cloak of glamour over it, but when the wind blows, it exposes the wrecked lives underneath.

Due to the emotional distress and shame involved in shooting these sex scenes: the presence of entire crew of camera people, set people, makeup artists, and directors barking orders at you–while you’re butt naked and cavorting—many established actress opt out and many more insist on “no nudity clause” in their contract.

Pundits scoff at the adverse effect of nudes. They claim it is just like any other job and that most sex scenes utilize body- double, computer generated images (CGI) and nude colored underwear to provide the illusion of sex, and that there is nothing wrong with it. But block buster don’t come with a rider that sex scenes are CGIs, nor do they deny that in many movie sex scenes involve real sex before camera crew, and that a body-double is still someone’s body.

Actor and actress are professionals but they aren’t immune to the effects of nudes, they are humans, with emotion and passions. It also disrupts social, family ties. Superstar, Julia Robert, a mother of three, feels it is inappropriate for her to do nudes as a parent.

Nudes and sex scenes could account for the unusually high marital infidelity in Hollywood with an average divorce rate of celebrities at 52%, which is 2 times higher than the general population. Female has 62% divorce rate, while the divorce rate of male is 50%  

When all is said and done, no one can deny the evidence that nudes add to the objectification and exploitation of women by the industry, the recent case of Harvey Weinstein whose historic abuse of actresses working for him is still emerging. But the millions of people who watch these movies without discernment contribute indirectly in this objectification.

Furthermore, studies show that watching nudes harms young adults as well. Teen and young adults who watch pornography do less well than their peers in school.

According to brietbiet.com, the Hollywood directors who forced Lily to undress have apologized, but this hardly goes far enough. Hollywood should take responsibility for what has been going on for who knows how long now.

They should thank Lily for bringing it to light, and take a cue from it and learn their scripts: featuring nude scenes can and do violate people’s dignity! They should stop making box office earning and profit their only consideration and encourage people to opt out of nudes without retributions.

Government and regulatory institutions shouldn’t be silent either. They should see to it that movie directors and movie houses do the right thing and initiate changes and those who don’t should pay punitive fines and have their licenses revoked–a good deterrent for those wish to act like pimps and sex traffickers– brutally degrading the dignity of their employees for profit.

Perhaps next time you are tempted to watch a nudes scene, you should look behind the scene to see the tears and anguish of men and women scared for life be their forced debasement for your enjoyment.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba





Caught off guard, Hillary calls on Jesus Mary and Joseph

23 10 2019

If you want to know how tough someone is, put the fear of death in them. When the light fixtures at a studio where young Hillary Clinton and Bill were having a TV interview, she thought she was going to die, calling on Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Today she is a self proclaimed atheist, denying the right of the unborn and persecuting Christians. Yet as Dolly Patton said, “I don’t see many death-bed atheist, when the time comes, they all start cramming. Death is inevitable and calls out all our pretenses because when death calls, truth answers.  The best advice is to live as you wish to die.

Watch Senator Ted Cruz speak on Hillary’s views on abortion below





Mother deer offers her life to crocodile to save her baby

1 08 2019

All the forces on this planet will never beat that of a mother’s love. The video of a mother deer that ran in to save her young from the jaws of a crocodile, offering herself to the crocodile in place has proved the saying true. Seeing her little child struggling to get out of reach of a giant crocodile racing to make a snack of him, mother deer jumped into the lake and placed herself between her baby and the crocodile. Steel jaws soon clamped and dragged her under water in a pool of blood, a proof of true motherhood.

Equally amazing is the video of a Lapwing bird braving farming machinery to protect her egg, not budging at all to the huge steel contraption overhead, but instead raised its wings to protect her eggs, another powerful example of the virtue of sacrificial love of true mothers.

If lower creatures are capable of such noble deeds, then higher creatures like human should be capable of nobler deeds. Unfortunately this is not the case. In many parts of the world human mothers shed the blood of their children to save themselves.

In 1973, the US Supreme Court decided that mothers could abort their unborn children at all trimesters of pregnancy for any reason whatsoever. This grievous decision called Roe vs. Wade has put human mothers beneath the deer and the lapwing bird, and has led to countless deaths since then. Every year, according to WHO, an estimated 40-50 million are killed via abortions. This corresponds to approximately 125,000 children killed per day by their own mothers.

Studies claim that many of these mothers choose abortion because having a baby would dramatically interfere with their education, work or ability to care for their dependents or when they have no other choice, given their limited resources and existing responsibilities to others. Well, mother deer had good reasons too to abandon her baby. She knew that saving that baby would cost her life, but she did it anyway.

In the same way, the lapwing bird must have felt that she had no other choice than to flee the metal tractor, yet she braced herself for impact, ready to die rather than abandon her eggs, her unborn chicks. And to think of it, not all her eggs are wanted, or planned. Male lapwing often mount without asking permission, yet once the deed is done, she is ready to die and as mother birds she loves each more than her life.

Shamefully, in these same countries where mothers are encouraged to kill their children, dying for country and for others is revered—yet their muddled minds fail to grasp that abortions are the opposite of the virtues they revere –a cowardly, deliberate assault on innocent human lives

The mainstream media and social media perhaps are responsible for the sad muddling of minds. Puppets in the hands of the cliques who own them, they are bent on propagating whatever they want while using the sledge hammer threat of “smear campaign” to knock every one into servile obedience.

Thankfully the deer and the lapwing are not rational animals. They are thus impervious to unrelenting propaganda of the dark and sinister, screeching for wholesale abandonment of the very laws of concord that makes rationality rational.

A creature cannot be greater than its creator

How come such noble instincts inhere in such wild beasts? Who put it there?
Christians believe that God created all creatures, and thus they bear a certain resemblance to God, most especially man, created in the image and likeness of God. The manifold perfections of creatures – their truth, their goodness, their beauty all reflect the infinite perfection of God. Consequently we can name God by taking his creatures” perfections as our starting point, “for from the greatness and beauty of created things comes a corresponding perception of their Creator (CCC41)

Who else would put sacrificial love in animals if not Sacrificial love itself? Like an artist’s great mind is reflected on his canvas so the goodness in creatures is a reflection of the mind of God. And, just like mother deer gave her life to save her child, Christians believe that God, in the person of Jesus Christ, gave His life to save sinners.

Yet, those who advocate that human mothers behave less nobly than beasts are sadly mistaken, because a mother’s love is powerful precisely because she is ready to give up her life in defense of her child. This is true for mother deer, but equally true of human mothers.

Chinwuba Iyizoba





Surviving Adultery: Story of Kobe &Vanessa Bryant

26 06 2019
Kolbe and Vanessa Braynt
Kobe and Vanessa Bryant

There is a saying that the most beautiful woman has not yet been born. If a husband does not guard his eyes, he will ditch his wife. Basket ball superstar, Kobe Bryant (25) learnt this the hard way in 2003 when a 19 yro woman accused him of raping her in his hotel room.

Facing a 25 yrs to life jail sentence, he initially rebutted the allegation, but when police told him they had evidence, he firmly denied raping her but confessed to having sex with her which was adultery against his wife of two years and mother of his daughter. Further probe exposed strings of affairs with other women unknown to his wife.

Due to inconsistency in the woman’s testimonies and her refusal to testify in court, the case never went to trial and was settled out of court. Yet, much damage has been done to Bryant’s career but more important, to his marriage.  His wife, Vanessa, felt deeply betrayed and humiliated but unlike other woman didn’t immediately file for divorce.

Perhaps, she understood what most people do not understand: adulterous men are often victims of their own weaknesses: a deep inclination to respond sexually to the sight of any beautiful woman.

In the video, “Sex and the power of visuals,” Dennis Prager argues that the mere sight of a beautiful woman alone is enough to sexual arouse an average normal man yet it takes far more to arouse a woman.  That is why men spend millions annually to see women with little or no clothing on. Magazines market their products with pictures of women with little to no clothing on, or even parts of women, like legs and breasts. (See video below)

On the other hand, many women commit adultery not because of an overwhelming sex urge on sighting a handsome man, but because they are looking for something or are in one form of trouble or another. In many cases, financial difficulties push wives into adultery, especially when their husbands are struggling financially or when they are emotionally or sexually dissatisfied or desire children that their husbands can’t give; studies also show that women are more attracted to men who are successful–superstars, men with money.

At a net worth of millions of dollars, Kobe had lots of female fans who would literally do anything for him, no holds barred, even setting sexual traps. As the story went his rape accuser had offered to show him the tattoo on her back.

To be faithful, it therefore means that a man must guard his eyes and thus his heart. An involved effort not to “look” at a beautiful woman is hard swallow for many men, yet with little effort of self-mastery, it can be learnt. There is a subtle difference between “looking” and “seeing”. A man can “see” a woman without necessarily “looking” at her–which is taking in the details of her size, shape and figure. A husband who is looking at a woman who isn’t his wife is merely looking for trouble and is on a short route to infidelity. It goes without saying that husbands who watch internet pornography are willing dupes of Satan who has them bound in cast iron chains on the path to marital destruction.

Forgiveness and mercy

Many spouses wouldn’t be quick to run to  divorce courts if they knew that in most cases, adultery stems from weakness on the part of the offending spouse rather than malice or an absence of love. Studies show that 56% of husbands who admitted to cheating said that they were happy with their marriages while 34% of adulterous wives rated their marriage as “happy”.When spouses better understand the factors enabling adultery, they can easily overcome angst and work towards helping their spouses overcome their weaknesses.

Vanessa Bryant overcame her angst and  “manned” up to the task of helping her husband overcome his failings by talking with a priest.

“One thing that really helped me during that process was talking to a priest and that was the turning point,” Kobe told GQ Magazine.

“It was actually kind of funny: He looks at me and says, ‘Did you do it?’ And I say, ‘Of course not.’ Then he asks, ‘Do you have a good lawyer?’ And I’m like, ‘Uh, yeah, he’s phenomenal.’ So then he just said, ‘Let it go. Move on. God’s not going to give you anything you can’t handle, and it’s in his hands now. This is something you can’t control. So let it go.”

Talking with a priest or going for “spiritual direction” is not only popular among Catholics like Kobe and Venessa Bryant, but is often practiced by many people unawares. People seek the advice of a mechanic or a plumber because they know more about cars and plumbing. Likewise when sick, people go to speak to a doctor. Bryant was spiritually sick, he cheated on his wife and was facing jail term; he was in need of spiritually healing and needed talk with a good mender of bad souls.

Everyone who has read the bible is familiar with the story of King David who committed adultery with Uriah’s wife and to cover up his crimes had Uriah killed in a battle, but God sent the prophet Nathan to talk to him and acknowledged his sins and repented.

When people are ill, they go to a doctor, and not just any doctor but a good doctor.  Accordingly, couples should do what in business is called “due diligence” to find the best spiritual consultant to solve their problems. Be he a priest, a relative or a friend, he should be a person who leads a worthy life, with a deep piety, wisdom, experience, maturity, zeal for souls and an unquestionable faithfulness to all the Church’s teaching. He need not have formal training in spiritual direction.

Couples should remember that it’s not just a one off talk; they should try to make it a regular visit because healing can take many years and the root cause of infidelity may lie in deep recesses difficult to reach. Thus regular spiritual direction will help couples talk over issues relating to their marriage and family, work, friendship, and social life and this can bring them closer together. There should be an effort to address a very particular area of their life which needs improvement, that defect or fault that keeps them from making more rapid progress.  From time to time they may simply need to unburden themselves of unexpected joys and sorrows that come their way.  If they are seeing a priest for direction, they may also want to avail themselves of the Sacrament of Penance, adding the sacramental grace to the actual graces received from being open and docile in spiritual direction.

Thus every spouse should know that adultery isn’t necessarily the end of marriage. If the offending spouse is served understanding, forgiveness and mercy rather than divorce papers, marital harmony may return even richer. This was how the Kobe and Vanessa Bryant saved their marriage and they have been married for 18 years now with 4 adorable children.

Kobe and Family

Chinwuba Iyizoba





Abducted girl turns 16 in the forest

15 05 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Leah Sharibu pics

Her eyes were diamonds, sparkling brightly when she laughed. Leah Sharibu was only 14 in February 2018 when she and over a hundred of her companions were abducted from their school in Dapchi, by boko haram, the Islamic terrorist group that has been devastating parts of Northern Nigerian for decades. She celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday, Tuesday 14th May, in Sambisa forest.

They had broken into her school like infernal spirits, eyes red like open wounds; breath, foul and putrid.  Their laughter like clanging steel frightened the captured girls whom they herded like lambs into waiting Lorries and driven to the forest by night.

The girls knew neither where they were nor why they were there. Hunger and tiredness overwhelmed them. Bugs and flies tormented them. They cried until they could cry no more, and realizing that the dirty jackals could never be move by tears, they ceased wailing and collapsed in exhausted sleep.

When they woke, they realized their captors thirst for blood, cruelty and hideousness was just beginning. Soon, thugs ordered them to renounce their Christian faith and accept Islam, in exchange for their freedom. Repulsive fiends! Who would want to worship the god that made you so foul?

The ogres promised the girls freedom and food and many too tired and weak to resist, they broke down and gave in, and gave the yellow fanged jackals all they wanted. Only Leah stood firm. She will not succumb and the trees danced for joy.

Shortly afterward, they released all the yielding girls, except Leah. They then announced via social media that according to their Islamic faith, Leah was now their slave, and that they were permitted to do whatever they liked her.

O infernal vermin, who permitted you to do vile things in the name of God!! You permitted yourselves to do violence to a religion of peace!!

News of the freed girls broke the internet and parents and relatives jubilated, but for Leah’s mother, however, it was a nightmare just unfolding; she wept herself blind for her sweet child still in captivity, and called for help till her voice broke.  For 2 yrs, little seems to have been done, and nothing may be done for many years to come.

Rebecca sharibu

Like the Christian martyrs of old, Lear is ready to die for her faith. Still, how hard it was for her to watch her companions fall one after another, swept by fear, one by one, till she was all alone, like a lone leaf left on a storm swept tree. With no one to lean on, no friend, yet the Angels are with her. Her captors must have howled and jeered with their disembodied voices, flies and venom spewing between their crimson fangs.

They are fools, though. Leah has chosen to serve in heaven rather than to reign in hell, and her love is mightier than their hate, and for that we salute her. Her parent salutes her, her family salutes her, her kinsmen salutes her, her village salutes, and her Nation salutes her.

She may die before any one lifts a finger to save her, yet her blood would water the tree of life for generations of Christians yet unborn. The Christian faith that they seek to extinguish in Nigeria will only grow stronger because of her witness, her blood. If she accepts death in bondage, she would have accepted a temporal bondage that would yield eternal freedom in Heaven and it’s not a bad deal; though few know it.

Her companions testified that she sang daily in her cell praising God’s name.  Her voice carries to heaven breaking the hearts of God even as a busy bee, she flirted around the forest, and did many things to ease the pains of her companion while they were with her.

 But God is wisdom

The angels of God are watching keenly with flaming swords unsheathed. All but a nod from God and the heads of those infernal jackals will roll. Yet, God’s plans are all wise and He will not retract a freedom once given to men though they long misuse it.

They may imprison Lear’s body, but they cannot imprison her soul, dancing like a butterfly, touching us all with suffering. The curtain of night fell upon us the night they took her. The stars are still blinking and the winds still wailing nonstop until we see Leah free. Happy birthday Leah! May the Angels protect and keep you safe. Amen

 

Chinwuba Iyizoba

 





A Million Pains as Adele’s Marriage Shatters

23 04 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Backstage And Audience

For years now, rumors have been growing that music idol, Adele’s marriage was failing, yet many of her fans were shocked when, last week, one of her spokesperson confirmed it. There is something about her that pulls the heart’s string making everyone root for her to succeed, even in marriage. Yet, any keen observer of trends already knew where the shadow of the growing tree would fall.

The 30 year old music diva had been living (cohabiting) with 45 year old Simon Konecki, a successful entrepreneur, for 6 years before they got married. They already had a son, Angelo, in 2012, before deciding to marry secretly in 2016.  It is common that couples who cohabit before marriage often discover that their marriage is like watching a rerun soccer game, lacking content, expectancy and surprise. In a short time they could begin fidgeting with the TV remote, searching for something more exciting.

adele marriage

The news was shocking because the singer had recently spoken of her longing to expand her family.

‘My womb is starting to ache a little bit,’ she said. ‘It’s like, ‘Baby, baby, baby. Need a baby.’ I’m not pregnant. I won’t get pregnant until the end of the tour,’ she had said not too long ago on a TV interview.

This may suggest that perhaps Simon may be the one pushing it. Her gift to him of a 400,000 euro mansion shortly before the news broke did not seem to have placated him. Having been divorced previously, he has plenty of experience, and doesn’t seem to be affected by it all. He was seen at a party the night that the news broke, having such a good time according to witnesses.

Adele-husband2

Divorce rarely benefits anyone much less the woman. It far easier for a man to walk out of one marriage and walk right into another than it is for woman to do the same. A woman’s biological sand clock runs out quickly; her beauty and fertility, resources that help her attract men, last but little and every man knows that.

Adele herself was spotted in a gay bar getting drunk with friends even as her marriage is going up in smoke. Yet there is no doubt she loves her son and wants the best for him. Both she and her husband have said that though they are getting divorced, they are committed to best interest of their child even as they rip apart the very thing that is in the best interest of their child.

Mainstream media is still busy minting new phrases to describe the divorce: “They are breaking up as friends,” says one. “Happily divorcing,” says another.

Yet, breaking up isn’t what friends do and people break up because they aren’t happy. If marriage  creates a single heart, divorce rips it to a million pieces, and when a heart is ripped it often dies.

So Why Marry?

Why do people who have lived almost the entire length a relationship cohabiting marry?  What were they missing even when they seem to have it all?

Adele and Simon already had a child, and business was going so well, her three studio album “19’ (2008), “21” (2011), “25” (2015) were each a huge hit worldwide with sales topping over a 100 million records. So why did she get married, and secretly for that matter?

baby

Marriage is the public pledge between a man and a woman to join their common destiny for life, and for the sake of children. Christian marriage is even more profound, the couple decides to give themselves wholly and entirely to each other in marital love for life and in openness to life, a decision that is attractive and noble and many unmarried people desire it.

But the modern creation of “no fault divorce” has radically altered the meaning of marriage, stripping it of all vestiges of permanence, honor and respect; it is now a naked business contract–with exit clauses.

 

It’s high time a name; a new name is found for this new creature which is startlingly different from the old; a name that reflects the new reality; like a larva is distinct from a butterfly and has a different name, even while sharing a common origin, this new modern business contract often referred to as marriage should be distinguished from true marriage by a new name.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba





Kardashian Redemption

15 04 2019

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere says Martin Luther King Jr, and Kim Kardashian, reality TV star and glamour girl, seems to have taken it to heart. She announced recently that she is studying to become a lawyer to better help prisoners. She told Vogue magazine that her decision was inspired by her recent success in persuading President Trump to commute the life sentence handed out to a 63 yr old woman in Tennessee for a first drug offense.

She has also helped to win clemency for another woman was convicted as a teenager of murdering a man who paid to have sex with her.

“I just felt like I wanted to be able to fight for people who have paid their dues to society. I just felt like the system could be so different, and I wanted to fight to fix it, and if I knew more, I could do more,” she said.
Kardashian, dropped out of school, started the reality TV show with her sisters, called “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” and developed a line of fashion and beauty products worth millions of dollars. Now she wants to go back and for good reasons too.

Gold is buried deep in slug, and a prostitute washed Jesus’ feet.

Kim Kardashian is hardly a saint. Yet, no matter what you think of her, her sex tapes, her nudes pictures that often break the internet and jar the senses, whether you love her or hate her, this good she is doing stands tall, and that’s the truth.

Even though her heart hungers for fame and fortune as wildly as a starving lion hungers for game, yet, having eaten to her heart’s content, she has left some affection for the incarcerated poor of America. They now have a voice and an advocate willing to undertake an inconvenient adult education to serve them better.
Let us hope that many super rich will toe her line and look beyond themselves at others who have nothing and sometime less than nothing.

The world isn’t black or white, but different shades of gray

We may not endorse everything in the world, but we must endorse every good in the world. In a world where an average person hears a million bad news daily, and believes he will go deaf if he hears anymore, any good news is as refreshing as clear cold water to a thirsty deer.

Yes, she sometime represents the worst of our time; other times, the best of our times. A diamond in the rough, her actions sometimes reflects foolishness; at other times reflects light and wisdom from distant stars.
Her love for prisoners must come as a refreshing call to action for her fellow rich and famous, to extend their helping hands to the less miserables of their time,
Perhap, her Catholic high school background has a hand in it, for care for prisoners is indeed a work of mercy cherished by the Church
Prison reform, is so noble, so worthy, and is needed everywhere. In Nigeria, many in prison are held without charge for many years, thanks to the reckless actions of the police, who are quick to arrest on mere suspicion and quick imprison without relevant paper work.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to injustice everywhere and it is up to everyone to fight it. Anyone who barricades himself in the citadel of his own selfishness will never come down onto this battlefield.
As is expected, at 38, she isn’t finding study easy.
“The reading is what really gets me. It’s so time-consuming,” she said.
But then, she has her late father’s spirit, Robert Kardashian, a great lawyer who helped OJ Simpson in1995 to win acquittal for double murder. She is sure to ace her bar exam come 2023 when she will sit for it.
Best of luck.

No doubt, the time she devotes to this worthy cause may set her back a few bucks, but she is financially secure, and wouldn’t miss the bucks. But she will miss the train ride to redemption at the twilight of her life if she misses this great opportunity to give her life to something higher than her ego or her fame.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba





Forgive but Never Forget: 25yrs After Rwandan genocide

9 04 2019

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

crowd of Rwandan at 25 yrs of genocide

 

Forgive and forget is an old saying but not in Rwanda as it marks 25 years after the genocide that killed close to a million people. The people are convinced that peace will continue only if they never forget.

 

“We are family once again, but never again will this happen”, said Paul Kagame, the Rwandan president on April 7 during the lighting of the commemoration lamp that will burn the whole of 100 days, the time it took to end the genocide that began on April 7, 1994.

On 6 April 1994, a plane carrying then-President Juvenal Habyarimana – a Hutu – was shot down, killing all on board. The government blamed the Rwanda Patriotic Front (RPF), a Tutsi led guerrilla fighters in the north. The next day a well-organized campaign of slaughter began. Youth militias (Interahamwes) were given hit lists of Tutsi victims. Many were killed with machetes in acts of appalling brutality. They set up road blocks to find Tutsis, incited hatred via radio broadcasts and carried out house to house searches. The killing lasted a 100 days ending when the RPF, led by Kagame and backed by Uganda, marched on Kigali. Some two million Hutus fled, mainly to the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Unlike the sowers of hatred who orchestrated the genocide and ethnic division, Kagame has fostered unity and common brotherhood of all Rwanda.

Today, the country has recovered economically, with President Kagame’s policies encouraging rapid growth and technological advancement. Growth remains good – 7.2% in 2018 according to the African Development Bank.

“The arms of our people, intertwined, constitute the pillars of our nation,” Kagame said. “We hold each other up. Our bodies and minds bear amputations and scars, but none of us is alone. He added: “The fighting spirit is alive in us. What happened here will never happen again…”

From the constant bloodletting of Boko Harm in Northern Nigeria to the threats of vicious Somali gunmen in Kenya. African sees a lot of blood and horror. The African leaders present at the ceremony are hopefully here to learn how to stop the constant bloodshed, hatred and injustice in their own countries by building bridges that create spirit of brotherhood like Kagame has done in Rwanda.

 

True peace comes from Forgiveness

Immaculee Ilibagiza

The 1994 genocide destroyed the illusion that African fault line wars are triggered by lack of religious homogeneity. With an estimated population 5.6 million, 80 percent of Rwandans are Christians, mainly Catholics, yet they ditched the truths of the Catholic faith taught to them as children to heed the screech of murder and rape.

Immaculée Ilibagiza, a woman who survived the genocide hiding in a pastors toilet for 90 days with seven other women but lost her entire family with the exception of one brother who was outside the country, in her New York Times best-selling Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust, she talked about her struggles with hatred and desire revenge against those trying to kill her, and her initial inability to forgive. Then one day like one who had since been looking at a tapestry from behind seeing only a meaningless jumble of treads, she was finally given through prayers to see it upfront, and marvel at its beauty . She tells the story like this:

One night we heard screaming not far from the house and then a baby crying. The killers must have slain the mother and left her infant to die in the road. The child wailed all night; by morning, its cries were feeble and sporadic, and by nightfall, it was silent. I heard dogs snarling nearby and shivered as I thought about how that baby’s life had ended. I prayed for God to receive the child’s innocent soul, and then asked Him, How can I forgive people who would do such a thing to an infant?

I heard God’s answer as clearly as if we had been  sitting in the same room chatting: You are all my children . . . and the baby is with Me now.

In God’s eyes, the killers were part of His family, deserving of love and forgiveness. I knew that I couldn’t ask God to love me if I were unwilling to love His children. At that moment, I prayed for the killers, for their sins to be forgiven and for the first time since I entered the bathroom, I slept in peace”.

immaculee in toilet where she lived for 90 days with 7 other women

Immaculee in toilet where she lived for 90 days with 7 other women when she returned to Rwanda after the war

True, bad indoctrination can contribute to evil actions, but every evil act is still an individual act. Those who choose evil exercise personal freedom and thus are responsible for their acts.  It is heartening to note that many  Hutus chose to die rather than kill. They were true Hutus because they chose freedom rather than slavery of evil and their action are an indictment of those who took up the machetes to kill.

One can be trapped in the most horrendous and inhuman prison and yet be free, by accepting God’s will and by loving sacrifice, thinking of all the souls on earth Immaculée found her deepest relationship with God, learning to love all mankind, especially to pray and forgive her enemies.

She reached the peak of  forgiveness when she decided to visit Felicien, the man who killed her mother, and personally forgive him. After she had told him so, she asked him: “How can you have done this? Killing so many people, you can’t be at peace.” In rags, he seemed small and confused. “”I wanted to reach out to him,” she said. “I cried, and then he himself started to cry.”

The official in charge of the jail, a Tutsi who was a survivor like Immaculée  who was initially angry at her for forgiving the man latter came to her and said, “You don’t know what you did to me, when you went to the jail and forgave Felicien.  I was shocked but I learnt the necessity for forgiveness.”

Just like a tennis ball striking a soft pillow decelerates and loses its power to rebound, violence stops when it hits a forgiving heart. This is a lesson that Rwandans and millions of African victims of violence should take to heart and never forget.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

 





Tears to Joy (Ekundayo)

4 04 2019

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Tybello

Photo journalist, TY Bellow, who discovered the bread seller model also discovered an unsung hero, Ms Ekundayo, a woman who had single handedly cared for near 500 orphaned children without any public or private applause.

An economist graduate, who had a brief stint in Government, Bello is a passionate Christian who has an amazing eye out for underdogs. Transforming the life of an illiterate bread seller caught in her camera by accident to a supermodel. But she wasn’t done yet.

In 2003, on a whim of philanthropic spirit, she decided to go visiting orphanages round the country to see which was in dire straight and how she could help, to her great surprise, she discovered an unknown and unsung heroine, who had quietly fed and sheltered close to 500 children in the backwaters of Kogi state.

In 1959, Mama Ekundayo, a married woman with five biological children of her own, decided to take care of orphans and abandoned children as well. Without money or power, she set about her goal and by 2003, she had taken care of well nearly 500 children without any government or international aid.

mama ekundayo

Mama Ekundayo

“Ekundayo,” which translates, “(my) tears have turned to joy,” captured Bello’s sentiments the days she met this woman.

“After talking to her about 10 minutes, I just started to cry,” TY Bello said.

“I felt so empty, you know there is something about her that is very peaceful, very wholesome. You can tell that she was happy but I felt that my whole life was just about me and my project and the things that I wanted.”

Greatly edified by sheer munificence of the woman and the gloriousness of this hidden sacrifice and the contrast of her own life Bello wrote a song for her which she turned to a music video called “Ekundayo.”

ekunday ophanage

Just like many things in life, there are many unsung heroes, people who do good quietly while the world largely remains unaware. Men and women who spend their lives serving others selflessly, at the cost fortune and family. They are so noble, inspiring and out of the ordinary.

It is like catching a glimpse of that image of God we bear in our souls, so obscure and difficult to see in a world marked by unchecked greed and selfish ambition for power, lust and personal gratification.

Using one’s talents or money to serve the greatest number of people is obviously more rewarding and effective, yet it is strangely not common in Africa, and in Nigeria especially. The truth is that it requires degree of spiritual awareness rare and hard to acquire, and even more, it requires willpower and self mastery over the animal instincts of self preservation that only very few can achieve in society rife with insecurity and poverty.

Yet, the Ekundayos of this world aren’t superhuman. They are people with deep convictions who choose to live out the consequences no matter the odds.

ty bello with mama

TY Bello with Mama Ekundayo

But they are the truly free. Those who understand freedom as the radically arbitrary license to do just what they want and to have their own way are living in a lie, for by his very nature man is part of a shared existence and his freedom is shared freedom. His very nature contains direction and norm, and becoming inwardly one with this direction and norm is what freedom is all about.

It is this radical shift in thoughts and philosophy that distinguish Ms Ekundayo from many. Yet, all Nigerians retain the capacity to walk the footstep of this giant.

Admittedly this is no easy task from start to finish in Nigeria. From scarcity of adoption agency to fraudulent agencies that run orphanages with a mind of achieving a clandestine agenda, to lack of proper documentation, to legal challenges to bureaucratic bottle necks ensure that only the truly convinced can walk this course on scathe.

“Mama Ekundayo has shown us how you can do so much with so little. There are countless examples of people like her out there,” said Bello,   “I hope the videos inspire us to help make their work easier or at least spread the word as much as we can.”

EKUNDAYO – TY BELLO (video)

LYRICS: EKUNDAYO – TY BELLO

Ekundayo sugbon E mi ko

Ise Oluwa ni

Her words resound over and again

Undoubtedly I’ve been changed

Madam your life your heart touched mine

And finally I realized

Even I can give a life

Ekundayo sugbon emi ko oluwa lo fun mi se

Mo dele ever before open my door

Jojolo

 

Life was all about me

My life was all about me

Did not see nothing wrong

The life that I lived

Was far from her reality

Don’t know how empty I was

Madam your life your heart touched mine

I was struck by the purity of your smile

Now I know

Realize the change I can bring (Change I can be)

To suffering children who’ve got no home

Pray for me so I can see

Through your eyes

Repeat Do you know beautiful you become

When you make way

For the all little ones

Who otherwise would not have made it through their day

You become a part of their tale

Oh how beautiful are the feet of every man

Who brings tidings of hope to children broken

Blessings from heaven gate

Will shower you every day

Everytime you open the door to link a child

Open my door

Eje ko mode ko wa

Eje kan wa oh oh

 

Open up my door (Say yeah)

Open my door

Eje ko mode ko wa

Ki won wa oh oh

 

By Chinwuba Iyizoba








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