A life worth living: Denzel and Pauletta Washington’s 40 yrs Marriage

6 09 2020
(L-R) Denzel, Pauleta, Jnr, Katie

When Socrates says that the unexamined life is not worth living, he means that only when we strive to acquire self-knowledge would our life be meaningful. This truth was evident to all gathered last year at the American film institute (AFI) Life Achievement Award to Denzel Washington. Delivering the opening speech to a packed hall full of stars and superstars,  Julia Roberts thanked Denzel for mentoring and helping her put her life back together when she was going through a rough patch during the shooting of the movie Pelican brief in 1992. She said that his warm human qualities drew her to open her troubles to him, and Denzel and his wife took her problems to heart and helped her through it. Undoubtedly, this is an amazing story in Hollywood, an industry famous for men taking advantage of vulnerable women. A black man going out of his way to help a white woman, but not just that, he introduces her to his wife.

Julia Roberts

There is valuable lesson here for married men: If you wish to help other women, do so with your wife. That way your help will be more effective and what’s more, you will not run the unnecessary risk of endangering your marriage by getting emotional entangled with a woman who is not your wife and whom your wife know nothing about. The devil that drives men to adultery thrives in secrecy. When fail to introduce their wives to the women they work with, leave the door open to possible infidelity.

Again,  in Hollywood  where serial divorce, adultery and infidelity are the norm, there is no doubt that a good role model like Denzel Washington who have risen to the very top of that industry and yet kept his sense of duty, family and honor intact is in high demand.

Interestingly, when Denzel finally mounted in the midst of thundering applause, he began by thanking God and asking God’s forgiveness for what he had done badly.

Denzel delivering his thank you address

“I m up here to say thank you to God,  for giving me this ability, for blessing me, for shaping me, for chastising me, for teaching me, for punishing me, for allowing me to be a vessel to touch people around the world.”

 Few actors can boast of the kind of success that Denzel Washington has had in Hollywood: two times Oscar winner, starred in at least 53 movies–most blockbusters, in a career that spanned 40 years, yet even fewer actors can boast of his capacity for self-examination. While success often spurs disdain for religion, Denzel’s success, on the other hand, makes him more humble in acknowledging God and his instrument for sustaining, nurturing, and supporting him.

In his speech, he appreciated his mother at 95, and declared that his father taught him how to be a man. Turning to his wife of 40 years, he proclaimed, “I would not be alive, without Pauletta Washington. 40 years of sacrifice, 40 years of forgiveness, she taught me about faith, spirituality, love, real love, unwavering love, inspite of myself.”

Older than Denzel when they got married, Pauletta has played the balancing force in his life helping to anchor him from the illusory world of make belief to the nitty-gritty of reality. Mother of his children, she surely must have fought many fearful battles with jealousy whenever it rears its ugly head as beautiful dashing damsels  flock towards her handsome husband ready to give him anything if he so much as smile at them. However, she did not let fear override the trusting confidence that every spouse deserves. Her devotion to the home, made him long to return home, to her and his children. Today, she is blessed to hear him acknowledge it before the rich and powerful and attest to the truth that the power of a woman is not solely in her external beauty, but the internal as well.

Unfortunately, many people claim that happy marriage is all about the money and that having made money, Denzel and Pauletta no longer need struggle to love each other. This is not true. A cursory look at the dismal marital landscape of Hollywood full of battered, violent, and ruptured marriages, with all the abuses, infidelities, and misery is sufficient to refute this argument.

Denzel and Pauletta have confirmed that marital fidelity is possible regardless of the environment. Their example is a challenge to those who have already caved in to licentiousness to pick up the pieces and begin again, and an encouragement to the young. It also demonstrates that the prevalence of toxic culture opposed to life, values and spirit, is largely due to individual choices.

Denzel then played a video where Pauletta’s father said:

“We were put her for a reason. God created man and God intends for us to love all mankind and by being in a loving mood, caring for one another, that is our purpose for life. We should care for one another, and we should love one another.”

His words echoed the words of Jesus Christ, “Love one another by this all men will know that you are my disciples,” reminding all that all lives matter. Love does not discriminate. Jesus said to love our enemies and do good to them who hate us and thus we will be like our father in heaven. The hate we see today is the proof that we have ditched the Christian faith and that witness is lacking.

 “In this twitter-tweet mean world we have created for our children,” Denzel continued, “the least we can do is to consider what we have done, and think about the young people, the future and individually, collectively do the best we can to try and turn this thing around.”

 Perhaps to the surprise of many of his colleagues whom have been blaming President Trump for all the evil in the world, Denzel said, “I blame no one, I look in the mirror.”

“On the other side of it,” he continued, “what an opportunity we have–because tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives– what an opportunity we have to practice what Pauletta’s father preached.”  

 In the end, Denzel qualities as an actor, for which he was being honored, is the quality expected of all, but more especially from Christians. The Christian faith calls all Christians to do all things well as Christ did. St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, has preached message of sanctification of work since 1928 that Christian holiness depends on work well done, for God.

Finally, Denzel has borne witness that a well-done work leads us towards God, and that work sanctifies, and sanctifies others. Millions the world over watched as Julia Roberts narrated how working   with Denzel and seeing how much he loves his wife made a deep impression on her.  Julia, who herself is a remarried divorcee, knows more than anyone does the challenges of marriage. She has now been married for 17 years with her present husband perhaps due to her emulating the life of Denzel, a life worth living.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor of Authors-choice





Marry her! People tell man who shielded girlfriend from shooter with his body

8 08 2019

They say that real men protect women. The terrifying video of a man who used his own body to shield his girlfriend from the shooter in the recent shooting at Dayton Ohio has gone viral. Camryn Crowder, 24, jumped on top of his girlfriend, Brittany Dungey to shield her from flying bullets when a gunman killed nine people, including his sister, and injured 26, in less than one minute on Sunday, 4th August 2019

CCTV footage showed Crowder using his body to shield Brittany as bullet flew.

The couple was walking through the Oregon District around 1am when they heard gunshots ring out. Brittany took off running and Crowder instinctively pushed her to the ground and pulled her body under him and army crawled towards the curb, checked that the coast was clear, then both ran away from the scene

“I turn my head and I see some guy pointing a gun,” Crowder said, adding he pushed his girlfriend to the ground “to make sure she didn’t get hit.”

Many of the comments on the dailymail.co.uk where the story was reported are calling on the couple to get properly married.

 They have been living together unmarried for a while and Brittany recently gave birth to a baby girl for Crowder.  After what happened, she should be rest assured that he is a real man ready to protect her and marry him.

Brittany pregnant with Crowder’s baby

Studies show that marriage confers a lot of benefit such as happiness and stability to a relationship.

Married couples are generally healthier and live longer lives than their single peers, they are also more economically stable and earn much more than the unmarried counterparts, and typically, the economic capacity of a married couple’s household exceeds that of a single-parent household by nearly three times the amount in income.

 Also research show that children do better in a stable home with a married mother and father, and are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier than their peers raised in non-married families and are significantly less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, and thoughts of suicide. Read more about the benefits of marriage here

Whatever they decide going forward, Crowder has restored people’s faith that real men still exist. He has been praised as real hero and rightly so, for believe it or not or not, this old notion that real men protect women, is fast disappearing everywhere.

Chinwuba Iyizoba





Irate Wife Smashes Laptop on Husband’s head for looking at other women: Controlling Anger issues

26 07 2019
Tiffany McLemore and her Hubby in happier times

Some people explode with anger because they discover they can control others by doing this. “If you don’t do what I want, I will make you very uncomfortable by blowing up. You might control someone today with your anger, but tomorrow that person might no longer put up with your behavior or might not even be around to control. This is the behavior of a furious wife, 30, who smashed a laptop over her husband’s head ‘because he looked at another woman on an American Airlines flight’

According to dailymail.uk, Tiffany McLemore, 30, launched the merciless attack after accusing her husband of ‘looking at another woman’ on a plane preparing to depart from Miami to Los Angeles on Sunday. Flight attendants asked the husband to move to another seat away from her. As he walked down the aisle she chased him and slammed a laptop over his head

The crew threatened to have McLemore arrested so she stormed off the plane. Police were unable to locate her in the airport and her whereabouts are unknown

The husband said he did not want to press charges and took a later flight home. The couple, who live in Los Angeles, appear to have two children together

In footage filmed by fellow passengers that went viral on social media

Controlling anger issues

The truth is that someone else may well have done something wrong, and our feeling of anger may well be his fault. But our blowing our stack is not his fault. It’s our own fault. We are not like animals, which, when provoked, have no choice but to react violently. When we feel angry, we have a choice to act either rationally or irrationally.

Forgiveness expert Dr. Fred Luskin says that anger and unforgiveness quite often stem from the breaking of our “unforceable rules” For example, my mother should have loved me, or my husband must be faithful, or my friend should never lie to me. If you make a rule like that and it is broken, you may go wild with anger. Now all of these “rules” are good and desirable, but you cannot ensure that they will play out in life. You may try to manipulate others into keeping these rules, but ultimately, you are setting yourself up for failure. People are free to choose their actions, and sometimes they choose wrongly. So, you need to change your rules into desires. I hope my husband will be faithful and my friend will not lie to me. It would have been nice if my mother had loved me, but although she didn’t live up to my desires, I will survive. And I won’t ruin my peace because she didn’t come through as I would have liked

Anger (the sin) and unforgiveness are related to pride. In essence, it is saying, “How dare you make me feel bad!” or “How dare life give me this trouble!” Pride is considered the root or beginning of all sin. I often encourage people with an anger problem to pray daily for humility.

One of the Spiritual Works of Mercy: to endure injustices patiently. That is a key element in living a spiritual life that many Christians forget. Sure, we try to get justice, but anyone

Any who has lived a while in this world knows that you can’t always get it. Sometimes we just have to live with an injustice, and if we bear it patiently, we gain a great deal of grace. A cousin of this spiritual work of mercy is to forgive all injuries. If we can make habits of this and of bearing injustices patiently, we will be well on our way to real holiness.

The most basic way to know that we have forgiven others is to pray for them, for their good and especially for their salvation. St. Elizabeth of Hungary once prayed to God to give great graces to those who had injured her the most. After this prayer Jesus said to her, “My dear daughter, never in your life did you make a prayer more pleasing to me than the one you have just said for your enemies; on account of this prayer I forgive not only all your sins but even all temporal punishments due to them.”

Heal Painful Memories

Sometimes people get stuck when they try to get over their anger or to forgive. They can’t seem to erase the terrible memory. A key way to deal with this is called healing of memories.

Dennis and Matthew Linn have studied the whole process of healing memories, and they suggest that there are five stages in healing a memory, similar to the five stages of facing death outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:

1. Denial: The person refuses to admit he was hurt.

2. Anger: The person blames others for hurting him.

3. Bargaining: The person puts conditions on his willingness to forgive.

In other words, he decides what it would take for him to forgive. Although these conditions are usually unlikely to be met, the offended person at least allows that forgiveness might be possible.

 4. Depression: The person is down on himself for allowing this hurt to paralyze him.

5. Acceptance: The person seeks to grow from this hurt.

Calm Marital Anger

Having worked with a good number of married couples, I have discovered that anger is a strong force for dividing husband and wife. Each spouse needs to know how to keep calm and to help the other keep calm as well.

A Wife’s Healthy Anger

Is there a way for a woman to get angry at her husband without harshness, without setting her heart against him? Is there a way of getting angry that will charm him and win him over rather than depress him? Absolutely. It’s called “childlike anger” in Helen Andelin’s best-seller, Fascinating Womanhood. I would call it playful anger.

click here for free download of Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

Here’s how it works: she gets “adorably angry,” as does a young child. She threatens never to speak to him again, and as she walks away, she looks back to see if he is taking her seriously. This childlike exaggeration makes the man want to laugh. It makes him feel stronger, sensible, like a real man. This sauciness of a child, says Andelin, is most attractive to a man and is far better than the meanness of a bitter woman (or resentful silence).

Here are some of the rules Andelin gives: Eliminate all bitterness, resentment, sarcasm, hate, and ugliness.  Use only adjectives that will uphold his masculinity, such as big, tough, lug, brute, hard-headed, stiff-necked, or hairy beast. Never use imp, nerd, wimp, little, creep, or jerk. . Exaggerate. For example, “What’s a big brute like you doing picking on a poor, defenseless woman like me?” Or make an exaggerated threat such as “I’ll never speak to you again!”

One woman Andelin describes had had a miserable marriage for eight years. She started being more positive and loving as taught in Fascinating Womanhood, and things improved.

One day her husband was telling a young marriage-minded bachelor he should think twice before marrying. “Look at all the headaches a wife can bring.”

He kept going on and on, knowing that his wife was very much within earshot.

Finally the wife had had enough. She decided to try playful anger.

She turned to her husband, stomped her foot, and said, “You big hairy beast! I’m never going to like you again, ever!”

 As she left the room, she looked back with a faint smile. Her husband was grinning from ear to ear as he said to the young man, “Did you hear what she called me?” When she got to her bedroom, she wondered, “Great, but what now?”

He had never once apologized in eight years. But just minutes later he came in and said, “I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Will you forgive me?” She wrote “I’d have forgiven him anything at that moment.”

Two months later he gave her a birthday card — his first ever. It had a cute little hairy beast on the front, and on the inside he had written, “Happy Birthday! Lovingly, Your Hairy Beast.”

 Another woman read Adeline’s book and had been planning to put this playful anger into effect. She would practice in front of a mirror, trying to keep a straight face. Finally, the big moment arrived. Her husband came down to breakfast one

He began to smile and they both had a good laugh. They avoided a nasty day.

Calming an Angry Wife

 Now, when a husband has an angry wife, whether she expresses childlike anger or explosive anger, what can he do? One thing he shouldn’t do is lose his own cool. If she expresses childlike anger, he can smile back at her, but he should be sure to tell her, “I’m sorry I made you angry. Will you forgive me?” as the man in the earlier example did. Simple enough.

If she expresses explosive anger, he should listen carefully until she is finished. Then, once he knows why she is angry, he can offer to discuss the matter.

 He could say, “Tell me what I did wrong, and I will try to improve.”

That’s often a winner. When a woman is upset, angry or not, she often wants to talk about it. He needs to listen.

Calming an Angry Husband.

 St. Monica had a husband with a wild temper. When he got angry, she would say nothing. She would go about her business saying very little and wait until he had calmed down to speak to him. She had plenty to complain about too, since her husband was a womanizer, as were most of the husbands in Tagaste (Northern Africa) at the time. Many of her friends suffered bruises from their husbands, but Monica didn’t, because she knew when to be quiet and when to speak. Best of all, she was able to facilitate the conversion of her pagan husband and his difficult mother. Was she a doormat? No way. She knew what was important to her — her relationship with God — and she was not going to allow anything to interfere with that, even her exasperating husband. It seems that silence or speaking very little — not defending oneself and not losing one’s temper — is the best way to calm an angry husband. It is hard to have a rational conversation with a man who is in a rage. “Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). This is not the silent treatment. It is waiting out the storm, not punishing. Once a husband gets a lot of his anger out, his wife might say, “As I read you, you’re upset because of [whatever it is], right?”

And then she can try to have a rational discussion. She can ask him if he would be willing to tell her more and tell him that she really wants to understand. And, if he tells her more, she can offer him some help in the matter. It’s all about putting aside her anger at the way he’s behaving and getting to the sore point and healing it. St. Paul of the Cross wrote, “When you feel the assaults of passion and anger, then is the time to be silent, as Jesus was silent in the midst of His ignominies and sufferings.” Maintaining silence when one is angry is a good idea for both husbands and wives, but especially for wives.

Article is culled from Rev. T. G. Morrow’s book (Overcoming Sinful Anger How to Master Your Emotions and Bring Peace to Your Life)





Inspiring Story of “Iron Lady” Muniba Mazari

19 07 2019

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. 20 yro Muniba Masari’s life was shattered by a car accident when her husband who was driving fell asleep and the car fell into the ditch. Though he managed to jump out and save himself, she sustained lots of injuries:  fractured wrist, collar bone and rib cage; because of the rib cage injury, her lungs and liver where badly injured. She couldn’t breath, she had lost urine and bowel control. To add to that, her backbone where completely crushed. She was paralyzed for the rest of her life.

Two and half months in hospital and multiple surgeries later, the doctor said she will never walk or have a child again.

She was devastated and asked her mother, “Why me. Why am I even alive?”

Her mother said to her, “This too shall pass. God has a plan for you; I don’t know what it is.”

Those magical words set Muniba’s heart afire. She had always wanted to be an artist, and though the doctors said she could no longer use her hands, she asked her brothers to bring her canvas, and when they brought them, she did her first painting inside the hospital and that began her process of recovery.

When she was discharged, her doctors told her to lie down straight on her bed for 2 yrs.

“That was when”, she said, “I realized how lucky people were who could walk around, go outside, and they don’t even know it” She decided she was going to help others to know how lucky they were.

Her first step was to liberate herself from her fears. So she took a paper and jotted down all her fears.

Her biggest fear was losing her husband, divorce. She was 18yro when she got married to the man her father chose. It was never a happy marriage. Her husband had survived the accident unscathed and scorned her because of her condition and was having an affair with another woman.

 “I was clinging on to this person who didn’t want me, Muniba said, and from that day, I decided to liberate him, to set him free.”

But in so doing, she set herself free also, from worries.

Perhaps, this was what St. Josemaria meant when he wrote “Is it not true that as soon as you cease to be afraid of the Cross, of what people call the cross, when you set your will to accept the Will of God, then you find happiness, and all your worries, all your sufferings, physical or moral, pass away?”

 “In fact”, Muniba continued, “I was so free that on the day that I heard that he was getting married again, I sent him a text saying congratulations, I am happy for you, and he knows that I pray for him today.”

Unawares, she had followed the teaching of Jesus who said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. – Mt 5:43-48 

Again, her fear of never having a child of her own evaporated when she realized that there were thousands of children in Pakistan who had no one to love them. So she decided to help them, by adopting one as her own, and a cool stream of happiness flowed back into her bruised heart. Today Muniba has a healthy young son whom she loves and who loves her, more, she goes around giving talks and helping people see the good side of life, and appreciate what they have.

Every great athlete will tell you that they are at their best when they are not self focused or self conscious, but rather when they are totally focused on the outside, on the game, likewise, people who have suffered some disaster are best able to overcome when they resist the urge to bitter self pity, focus on helping others.

Muniba’s pain and suffering opened her eyes and made her more understanding with the sufferings of others and thus made her a better person.

“There are incidents that happen, that deform you, yet they mold you into the best version of you,” Muniba said, thus affirming the truth that behind the dark clouds of pain lies the silver lining of realizing a better, more beautiful version ourselves, like gold purified by fire, like rough diamond made valuable by knocks and chisels blows.

Understanding God

“God has a purpose you,” her mother had said to her and those magic words had set her heart into a search mode, looking outside of self. It awoken her curiosity to discover what she can do to help others, for to suffer need is something that can happen to anybody, but knowing how to endure it belongs to great souls, to souls who have loved much.

It is understandable that most people avoid suffering like a bat avoids fire, but if the suffering has come to stay, then rejection would be futile and harmful because the hand of the clock no matter how we wish cannot be turned back.

The wise thing is acceptance. And making the best of the bad situation

This is why the Christian message is so powerful and is called the good news.  God emptied himself, became man, and humbled himself to die on the Cross, so that people like Muniba will know that God loves them since he himself choose to suffer similar affliction, but not just her, but indeed all men and women of all times

Prior to Jesus message, suffering was insufferable, and those who suffered had no hope. Then worldly power and wealth was everything and a man’s worth was largely measured by what he had.

Christ turned all that upside down. He, being rich, became become poor, born in a Manger, the dwelling place of animals, lived poor and preach that the poor are blessed, and that all the things that men cringe and fly from are the true treasures, hunger, thirst for Righteous, meekness. Further, He not only preached, His death and resurrection sealed His teachings as authentic and indeed divine.

Though Muniba isn’t a Christian, she has grasped the tenants Christianity, and just like in the Passion, the Cross ceased to be a symbol of punishment and became instead a sign of victory, so Muniba’s wheel cheer and urine bag is a sign hope and victory for all. At 42, she has won so many international award as an artist, motivational speaker, activist, TV Host, and Pakistan’s First Goodwill Ambassador to UNWomen Pakistan.

“I always go around with a big smile on my face,” Muniba says, an iron woman whose example is urging everyone to make up their minds to follow the way of self-surrender even when the Cross is on their shoulders, she urges us to have a smile on our lips, so that light can enter our souls.

Munabi Mazari inspirational talk

by Chinwuba Iyizoba





Holy Matrimony: Odera & Chinedu Odunukwe: 13 July 2019

15 07 2019

Enjoy Pictures of the joining of Chinedu Udunukwe and Odera Iyizoba together in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, 1004 Estate on Saturday 13th of July 2019. Wishing the couple a life of Holy Wedlock filled with God. Enjoy!

 

Odera + Chinedu White Thriller




Odera Iyizoba & Chinedu Odunukwe Paints Nimo Red: Igbankwu 6th July 2019

8 07 2019

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A Million Pains as Adele’s Marriage Shatters

23 04 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Backstage And Audience

For years now, rumors have been growing that music idol, Adele’s marriage was failing, yet many of her fans were shocked when, last week, one of her spokesperson confirmed it. There is something about her that pulls the heart’s string making everyone root for her to succeed, even in marriage. Yet, any keen observer of trends already knew where the shadow of the growing tree would fall.

The 30 year old music diva had been living (cohabiting) with 45 year old Simon Konecki, a successful entrepreneur, for 6 years before they got married. They already had a son, Angelo, in 2012, before deciding to marry secretly in 2016.  It is common that couples who cohabit before marriage often discover that their marriage is like watching a rerun soccer game, lacking content, expectancy and surprise. In a short time they could begin fidgeting with the TV remote, searching for something more exciting.

adele marriage

The news was shocking because the singer had recently spoken of her longing to expand her family.

‘My womb is starting to ache a little bit,’ she said. ‘It’s like, ‘Baby, baby, baby. Need a baby.’ I’m not pregnant. I won’t get pregnant until the end of the tour,’ she had said not too long ago on a TV interview.

This may suggest that perhaps Simon may be the one pushing it. Her gift to him of a 400,000 euro mansion shortly before the news broke did not seem to have placated him. Having been divorced previously, he has plenty of experience, and doesn’t seem to be affected by it all. He was seen at a party the night that the news broke, having such a good time according to witnesses.

Adele-husband2

Divorce rarely benefits anyone much less the woman. It far easier for a man to walk out of one marriage and walk right into another than it is for woman to do the same. A woman’s biological sand clock runs out quickly; her beauty and fertility, resources that help her attract men, last but little and every man knows that.

Adele herself was spotted in a gay bar getting drunk with friends even as her marriage is going up in smoke. Yet there is no doubt she loves her son and wants the best for him. Both she and her husband have said that though they are getting divorced, they are committed to best interest of their child even as they rip apart the very thing that is in the best interest of their child.

Mainstream media is still busy minting new phrases to describe the divorce: “They are breaking up as friends,” says one. “Happily divorcing,” says another.

Yet, breaking up isn’t what friends do and people break up because they aren’t happy. If marriage  creates a single heart, divorce rips it to a million pieces, and when a heart is ripped it often dies.

So Why Marry?

Why do people who have lived almost the entire length a relationship cohabiting marry?  What were they missing even when they seem to have it all?

Adele and Simon already had a child, and business was going so well, her three studio album “19’ (2008), “21” (2011), “25” (2015) were each a huge hit worldwide with sales topping over a 100 million records. So why did she get married, and secretly for that matter?

baby

Marriage is the public pledge between a man and a woman to join their common destiny for life, and for the sake of children. Christian marriage is even more profound, the couple decides to give themselves wholly and entirely to each other in marital love for life and in openness to life, a decision that is attractive and noble and many unmarried people desire it.

But the modern creation of “no fault divorce” has radically altered the meaning of marriage, stripping it of all vestiges of permanence, honor and respect; it is now a naked business contract–with exit clauses.

 

It’s high time a name; a new name is found for this new creature which is startlingly different from the old; a name that reflects the new reality; like a larva is distinct from a butterfly and has a different name, even while sharing a common origin, this new modern business contract often referred to as marriage should be distinguished from true marriage by a new name.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba





Big Brother Naija Trojan horse

4 03 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

They came in 2006 selling the story of a talent hunt but sold Nigerians a Trojan horse.

BBNnaija 2019 audition venue was like a scene from world war Z. Crowds of indigent youths thronged the venue pleading and wailing, crushed against iron railings, some broke their legs, and all were desperate to get in. They clawed their way coveting the $100k prize money, a ticket out of poverty worth dying for. Yet the big brother show is a rip off.

BBNaija 2019 audition
Crowds of Nigerian youths at BBNaija 2019 audition

The show is about 12 contestants living in an isolated house for 90 days, competing for a winner takes-it-all star prize by avoiding eviction. To please viewer to vote “stay” they must shed all dignity, self-respect and modesty, even engaging in explicit sex while the camera rolls.

Sex sells

With big colored eye on profit, the producers encourage sexual experimentation among the housemates on every episode, often plying them alcohol to loosen things up, and supplying cartons of condoms. BBNaija portrays sex as casual and consequence-free to minors who watch these episodes.

“Just as we read specific books and show educational movies to our children in hopes that they learn lessons from the characters, teens are more likely to have sex after being exposed to sexual content in the media,” says Dr. Carolyn Ross on Psychology Today

Parents who allow their teens to watch BBNaija shouldn’t be surprised if they begin having sex, and perhaps even high-risk sex and catching sexually transmitted diseases and becoming pregnant. They may even become sex addicts.

Early exposure to pornography (or explicit sexual content on television), says Dr. Ross, is a risk factor for sex addictions and other intimacy disorders. In one study of 932 sex addicts, 90 percent of men and 77 percent of women reported that pornography was a factor in their addiction.

In 2018, having interviewed Christians and Muslims, the Nigerian Vanguard wrote a good piece of the harmful effect of the show, denouncing it’s deviation to open immorality. Yet, the show goes on, and so many poor young people across the nation besieged the audition venues seeking last month, while families’ lap up episode after episode.

Follow the money.

The money comes from the evictions.  Every week when different housemate are placed on eviction, and the public use their money to vote them back in.  The votes come in millions. During one of recent BBNaija finale, it was reported that 170 Million votes were cast via text messages that cost N30. If you do the math, that is approximately $14M earned by the organizers.  

Gifty Brian Ajumobi ex-house mate

Since it is winner take all, all but the one winner gets paid while others walk away, broken, sold and scared and some never manage to pick up the broken pieces. (There are many unwed mothers’ among the ex-housemates.) Many of the used young ladies can’t find husbands, some like ex-house mate, Gift Brian Ajumobi, has multiple sex partners and children out of wedlock and is presently embroiled in paternity suites.

All in the name of entertainment

Whatever happened to the Nigerian family sense of modesty so admired by the world a few years ago? Now we pay to watch our youths feed, play and copulate. How diabolically naive we have become. Are we waiting for same-sex fornications and bestiality to add to the fun?

Parents and families should wake up and throw out this Trojan horse in their midst. A society willing to compromise its value and honor is a society without value and honor.

 It’s unfortunate that Atiku Abubaker who recently lost the presidential election, in a bid to garner popularity among the young, tweeted a congratulatory message to last year’s BBNaija winner.

Educators, writers, politicians and legislators must keep in mind that a great part of social and even personal problems has its roots in the failure or the collapse of family life. To fight against juvenile delinquency or against the prostitution of women and at the same time to favor the discrediting or deterioration of the institution of the family is both senseless and contradictory.

In spite of the obvious and genuine harm done by this show, we see no protests, families carrying placard and politicians debating on how to proscribe the show or prosecute their promoters, rather viewing statistics are spiking and more and more young people turn up each year for auditions.

It must be understood that the role of parents and families in social and political life cannot be merely passive. They themselves must be ‘the first to take steps to see that the laws and institutions of the State, films and reality TV’s do not offend, but support and positively enhance family life and welfare of minors

Nigerians should reject this show, looking for disruptive ways to ensure that those who insist on promoting this heist stop making money. They should also besiege the news media with the reports of the negative influences on children, calling out the promoters and exposing their true agenda.

On the other hand, families should support and promote family friendly TV shows that teach skills, virtues and discipline to children.





Changing Society’s View on “Hooking Up”

27 02 2019

Since the 1960s, we have witnessed an incredible liberalization of sexual mores. The ubiquitous use of sex in advertising, movies, television, and fashion—sex as entertainment, sex as economic incentive, sex as substitute for thought, for communication, for edification—has given a green light and public blessing to the unashamed use of sex as a crass commodity of self-gratification. Sexual gratification is often valued more than physical and emotional well-being, and the pursuit of the former has generally led to the neglect of the latter. Glamorized by the media and by celebrities, premarital and extra-marital affairs, together with the emergence of the “hookup culture,” no longer carry the stigma of social or moral opprobrium. Such practices tend to insinuate themselves into our public consciousness with little or no effective opposition.

During this time, we in America have seen myriad examples of plays, films, and TV shows evincing (overtly or covertly) envy and admiration for men and women engaging in adultery or promiscuity. Bernard Slade’s famous play (later adapted into a movie), Same Time Next Year, a story about extra-marital love, ran for years on Broadway. The award-winning movie The Bridges of Madison County (1995), a story about the happiness a lonely farmer’s housewife enjoys with a photographer, won the ASCAP Award for the “Top Box-Office Film” of 1996. The ever-rerunning TV serial (adapted from Candace Bushnell’s novel), Sex and the City, spotlights four professional women in their thirties and their big city sexual escapades as they search for the “perfect orgasm” and “Mr. Right”—in that order.

What lessons are learned from such shows? What do they teach us about self-respect, honoring commitments, and personal boundaries? The four sirens of Sex and the City may be sympathetic and amusing, but their affairs—however kooky or disillusioning—are romanticized and prized. Sex is portrayed as a desirable but short-lived commodity typically spoiled by attempts to transform it into a meaningful relationship. It seems that sex uncoupled from relationships has become the norm for many, and several studies bear this out.

Of course, it is true that many plays, movies, and TV shows often express a nostalgic regret for lost innocence and tarnished integrity. Nevertheless, the focus on casual sex in the entertainment industry and in society in general (also sometimes referred to as “hooking up,” “non-relationship sex,” “recreational sex,” “friends with benefits,” “no-strings-attached relationships,” “one-night stands,” and “sex without dating”) has become obsessive. The existence of this phenomenon alone is likely sufficient to promote the acceptance of adultery and sexual promiscuity—not because it is right, but because it is viewed as “natural,” “normal,” and something everybody does.

But what is the effect of this culture? As hookups increase, traditional dates decrease; “post-hookup, a follow-up date is rarely expected.” And as dating has waned, so too has marriage. Many young adults do not seem to have developed the ability to psychologically and socially settle down. Although young adults are becoming sexually mature at earlier ages, people are marrying later. In many cases, they do not marry at all. Family compositions have changed, and children are frequently born to parents at older ages than in previous generations. Divorce rates have skyrocketed, particularly for those who engage in premarital sex. Studies show “the odds of divorce are lowest with zero or one premarital partner” and “marriages preceded by non-marital fertility have disproportionately high divorce rates.”

These facts provide evidence that the well-known sexual prohibitions of the Bible are not as irrelevant as many seem to think. In fact, a growing number of young people—led by thoughtful college professors and mentors—have come to see the value of both sexual abstention prior to marriage and sexual fidelity during marriage.

Changing the Dating Definition

Boston College professor Dr. Kerry Cronin has helped bring about this reawakening. About twelve years ago, in an effort to counter the common practice of “hooking up,” Professor Cronin created an unconventional assignment in her classroom: she required her students to go on a first date and write a report about the experience.

This assignment was intended to counteract the hookup culture in which the connection of the parties involved is “intended to be purely physical in nature” and where the two individuals shut down “any communication or attachment that might lead to emotional attachment.”

Cronin found that many of her students were clueless about the actual process of dating. Because the hookup culture had become so dominant, “going on a date became a weirdly countercultural thing to do.” Professor Cronin thus concluded that “the social script of dating was really long gone.” So, she created a series of guidelines to teach the students how to ask someone out on a date and what to do during that date. These include asking for a date in person (“texting is the devil. Stop it.”), avoiding physical contact (except possibly an A-frame hug at the date’s conclusion), and forbidding the use of alcohol or drugs on the date. According to Cronin’s rules, the person who asked the other out must pay for the date, and the asker should have a plan for the date rather than asking the other person what to do. The first date should be relatively short and inexpensive. The key assignment was to establish real communication between the two individuals and allow them time to get to know each other.

Her program became so noteworthy that this past April a documentary film featuring Professor Cronin, The Dating Project, was released. The ninety-minute film follows five single people, ages eighteen to forty, as they attempt to navigate their way through the “dating deficit” that has been created by hanging out, hooking up, texting, and using social media. The film presents a sobering picture of what the culture of sexual liberation and free love has done to today’s youth. The film’s message is that hookups objectify the participants and leave both parties empty and unfulfilled. Today’s hookup culture makes it much more difficult to build lasting, emotionally connected relationships. True relationships take time and work, but they can be incredibly fulfilling. They enable us to grow our humanity in genuine self-giving love.

The film’s writer and producer, Megan Harrington, observed that “people are so connected and not connected at the same time. So many young adults are lonely. We all want relationships, but the superficial masks we wear on our social media platforms do not present our true selves.”

Even though Dr. Cronin is a practicing Catholic, her college course and the subsequent movie on dating have resonated with secularists who have come to realize that the “sexual liberation” they bought into has created confusion about stable intimate relationships. This intimacy crisis has effectively disconnected intimate sexual behavior from emotional connection.

Is Sex Spiritual?

Although social trends may change, values—such as disciplining and channeling sexual impulses—are timeless and universal. Today’s social practices do not reinforce the development of these unchanging values. To encourage healthy, committed relationships, we must strive to create social conditions designed to strengthen and encourage robust families. This is an essential and basic principle of the Seven Laws of Noah, a common worldview underlying Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Through her assignments, Professor Cronin is encouraging her students to follow the standards of sexual morality that form the basis of these three Abrahamic faiths.

As John Paul II put it, “Self-control is not needed because the body is evil—the truth is just the opposite. The body should be controlled with honor because it is worthy of honor.” Because our bodies are sacred property created by G-d within which resides His Holy Spirit, we effectively defile the Divine within us when we participate in the hookup culture (or in other sexual proclivities such as pornography or prostitution). A person’s body and soul are not possessions to either abuse, harm, or destroy. Lev. 19:1 commands us to “be holy,” a directive that carries strong ethical and moral implications for humanity as we strive to imitate Him.

Unmoored from a committed and loving marital relationship, the unchecked sex drive harms both the individual and the society in which he or she lives. The Noahide Code teaches us that both our bodies and our souls are entrusted to us by G-d and are Divine property. This perspective reinforces the Biblical concept that we are made in the “image of G-d,” thereby giving moral context to the psychological matrix of the human personality that involves a complex interrelationship of body, mind, and soul.

ARTHUR GOLDBERG

Arthur Goldberg is Co-Director of the American based Jewish Institute for Global Awareness (JIFGA), former Co-Director of JONAH, Inc. JIFGA sponsors http://www.fundingmorality.com, a crowd-funding site for those committed to Biblical values. He has authored Light in the Closet: Tora… READ MORE





Davido’s Mom

18 02 2019

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Davido gets it right with his mom, but wrong with women.

Davido at 02 Arena London

When Davido’s January 27, London concert sold out at the 02 Arena, with a crowd of more than 20000 people, the music maestro was so overjoyed that he credited the triumph to the help of his late mother.

Celebrating with guests, the next day, the 26 yrs old broke down in tears, and continued thanking his late mom comparing her to an angel, posting on instagram:

“Only angels can make such Dreams come true … Thank you mom for watching over your baby.”

His mom, Veronica Adeleke, died when he was 10. A woman of rare beauty and a music lover, she had owned a record label in the 90’s which she named after Davido, who must have inherited her love for music, and a sign of strong bond between mother and son that even death is unable to break.

Veronica Adeleke, Davido’s Mom

Much like Catholics understanding of devotion to Mother Mary, he believes that she is very much alive in heaven, helping him each step of the way.

In his mind, love for his mom pushes him to give his best.

Interestingly, this devotion to his mom, rather than offend anyone is in fact making him appear more humane, warm and attractive to his fans especially women, yet his relationship with other women leave much to be desired having fathered two daughters from two different women while in a public relationship with a third.

Considering that he has over 2 million followers on face-book and many more on Instagram, many of them young people, one can see that his loose lifestyle is having bad influence on public morals.

As a role model, he is teaching his young fans to behave like cows, next he will teach them to be content to go the way of goats. He is sending the wrong message to young people to act like miserably beasts who dont know how to control their passions.

Davido whose music career took off with his 2011 hit single “Dami Duro” and gained him a huge student fan base should remember that his mom, apart from her love for music, was a teacher, a university lecturer, who loved academics and taught her students well, and desired that her students do well in their studies.

Davido’s Fans

Without a doubt, she would desired that his music and songs helped his young fans achieve academic excellence, by being a little less salacious, and more focused on themes that encourages learning, extolling the virtues of hard work and family.

Thus it is meet and proper for him to recognize his moms help, but it’s even better for him emulate her love for family, marriage and try to emulate it.

Davido’s Father (Middle) with daughters by his side and his son Davido standing behind with his elder brother.

Moreover, he enjoyed and continues to enjoy the dignity and prestige of being born in a family. His mom met his father Adedeji Adeleke in the 80’s; they fell in love, got married and had four children. Where his parents not properly married, perhaps he would not be who he is today.

Why then would he deny his own children that same dignity? It is unfortunate, unfair and rather irresponsible.

Davido with one of his daughters fathered out of wedlock

One could argue that wealth and popularity has gotten into his head, but his father was a very rich man, and popular, yet there aren’t evidence that his money or fame influenced him to lead a reprobate life, having, and children with other women apart from his mother.

Without a doubt, his parents good example of lifelong love, marriage and great family atmosphere has contributed in no small measures to his own success; his children has a right to expect same from him and would be a dereliction of duty if he fails to do so. In fact one could even say that he is setting his daughters up for failure since studies show that children from stable homes do way better than one from broken homes.

His mother, like all mothers know a great deal about love. Through marriage, God opened a fruitful channel for her love to share in the power God on free and responsible transmitting of life, rather than the wickedly undermining God’s plan because selfish human pleasures.

I am sure, Davido’s mom watching over him so motherly, wanting the best for him, would wish him to stop sowing his wild oats around, settle down, get married and treat his wife and children with more respect. She would wish to tell him that running around and fathering children shamelessly with different women isn’t a very good way to pay her back for all the toil and hard work in bringing him and his 3 siblings up and that he must stop taking advantage of women if he truly loves her.





Genevieve’s Lion Heart

11 02 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Genevieve Nnaji

Genevieve Nnaji’s rise to the top in the Nigerian movie industry is a tribute to her parent’s unwavering faith in God when all seemed lost.

When 8yrs old Genevieve Nnaji debuted in “Ripples,” a prominent soap opera that gripped the nation in the 80’s, everyone was sure that she was destined for fame. The fourth of eight children, she was the rising star in the family and her parents, Theophilus and Benedatte Nnaji, spared no expenses in her education, to fulfill her dreams. 

But tragedy struck, unexpectedly. At 17, she came home from school pregnant.

 Shattered, a future so bright and beautiful, and at a time when her career was about to take off like a rocket, all in seemed lost.

To save her career, it would have been so easy to succumb to pressures and abort the unborn child. Few parents can ignore the danger of being ridiculed and yet, despite their dismay and sadness, despite their fear of the unknown, of possible failure, they paid no court to public opinion, and insisted that she must give birth to the child.

“My dad was like; it’s a child for Christ’s sake.” Genevieve who is now 40, said, “God knows why he wants to bring that child into life”.

Genevieve and her Daddy

“We are Catholics” Genevieve continued, “and it’s just, that in conscience, if you do wrong once, doing another would not make the first right. So, you either correct your mistake by doing the right thing. If I was pregnant, and then have an abortion, it would have been like murder after fornication! So, that was basically wrong.”

Thanks to their unwavering obedience to the teaching of the Catholic faith, and a well formed conscience, her parents rallied and protected her and the child. And as soon as she had the child, her mother cared for the child, allowing her to return to her studies and work.

Today, that child, Theodora Chimebuka Nnaji, is 23, a startling beauty, married with her own family, spitting image of Genevieve, a companion, confidant and constant source of joy to her and more so as the years go by.

Genevieve and her daughter

 “I am so happy I did not abort my daughter,” she said, eyes shining with gratitude.

By not succumbing to shame and going against their faith and conscience, Mr. & Mrs. Nnaji, have instilled in their daughter, values, solid as a rock on which she has stepped on to greater heights

In 2005, she won the Africa Movie Academy Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role (the first actress to win the award).

In November 2015 her first movie called Road to Yesterday won Best Movie Overall-West Africa at the 2016 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards. But the best was yet to come

 On September 7, 2018 her directorial debut, “Lion heart” was acquired by online streaming service, Netflix marking it the first Netflix original film from Nigeria. The Movie had its world premiere at the 2018 Toronto International Film Festival and has since been making waves the world over.

Lion Heart has been dubbed Nollywood “reinvented” because it differs from other Nollywood movies, replacing poor screen play and scripting with positively enjoyable high quality cinematography, and gripping story line.

Genevieve directs her first movie and it’s a huge success

Lion Heart tells the story of Adaeze (played by Genevieve,) an executive in her father’s bus company was forced to a second position when her sick father chose an uncle over her to run the company.  But discovery of bankruptcy, a hostile takeover forced her to abandon her recrimination and work with her Uncle to save the company.

Particularly delightful was the stable traditional family values on offer throughout the movie as opposed to rampant divorce, rancor and infidelity in other movies.

Abigail, Adeaze’s mom was like a brilliant moon on a dark night, and her presence filled the house with light and warmth.

The effortless transition from high quality Ibo to flawless English without fake phonetics was as mesmerizing as the titillating aerial shots that brought out Enugu’s beauty in ways not seen before even by long residents of the coal city.

Netflix acquiring the movie sends a powerful message of hope to other Nollywood directors, that with the right efforts and doing things properly, there is nothing stopping them from competing with the best in the world .

Just like a good driver knows that obeying road signs on a winding hilly roads guides him to safety, and protects him from falling off the edge, Genevieve has learnt from her parents that obeying God laws and keeping an unwanted pregnancy and carrying it to term and giving birth to the child constitutes no obstacle to a woman’s future, education or professional success, but a sign of a lion heart.





The Unhappy Millionaire

10 01 2019
Richard Mason the unhappy millionaire

Those who don’t believe that money doesn’t make you happy often hiss, “Let me have it and find out for myself,” when told about it. Perhaps this story of a man who had millions but lost health and family will convince the most virulent skeptic that there are things much more important than money. According to the dailymail.co.uk, Richard Mason, a multimillionaire and the founder of money market, a multi-million dollar company went for a medical check to discover the cause of his recurring ill health. He didn’t bargain for what he got. The doctor told him he had cystic fibrosis, a disease inherited from birth, and incurable. But worse, he told him that people who suffer from this ailment do not have children.

The millionaire shot back: ‘You must have got the diagnosis wrong because I’ve got three sons.’

The doctor looked at the nurse, as if to say, “How do we deal with this?” and turning to him said, “In this hospital, we manage 2000 men with your condition and none has children -well except for one who later discovered that his wife cheated on him.”

The doctors then advised Richard to speak with his wife.

Anxious and heart thumping, Richard texted Kate, his ex-wife and mother of his 3 sons, aged 23, 19 and 18. They had divorced 10 yrs earlier and though he had remarried, at 54, he hadn’t bothered to have any more children.

“Hi Kate, I have just  been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, and can you believe, the doctor says that I am infertile from birth, please put me out of my misery and tell me they are wrong and our boys are my children.”

The reply wasn’t long in coming

“Hi Richard, I’m deeply sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but no matter what they say, the boys are your children.”

Still, suspicious Richard confided in his first son who called his Mom and she confessed to having affairs throughout her marriage, in hotels whenever she was on overnight business trips for the bank where she worked. She however flat out refused to name the father of the child.

Kate, Richard’s ex-wife admitted to adulterous affairs thought out her marriage to Richard but refuses to name the man

Left with a tons of money in his bank, bereft of everything worthwhile in life, family, his children and worst, the knowledge of having lived 21 yrs in a marriage that was a fraud. Richard recently admitted he had frequent thoughts of suicide. Life had lost all meaning.

The adulterous wife must have been desperate for children and sensing her husband’s shortcomings decided to try elsewhere. Richard may have been a negligent husband, hard as flint, an old miser who loves money above all. Furthermore, Richard divorced his adulterous wife even before he knew her to be one, love for his children notwithstanding.

Whatever be the case, we may be sure that in all the articles written about this disappointing union, no one talked about the couple’s relationship with God. I strongly suspect that, like in most western marriages, God didn’t play a very big role in this family. And I believe that vertical relationships helps horizontal relationship as many spiritual writers often contend. Vertical relationship with God helps our horizontal relationship with one another. And without the fear of God, man becomes squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old savage, secret and self contained, incapable of giving himself to another in sacrificial love. Hence the appalling divorce statics of western marriages, (about 50% percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher, Luxembourg: 87%, Spain: 65%). I think this due to their hurling God out of their marriages, feet first.

The story is long, complicated, and heart breaking and gets quite out of breath by the time it gets to the murky fights over alimony and Richard’s desperate efforts to discover the identity of the man who slept with his wife for in this unfortunate marriage betrayal runs deep ( you can read the full article here). I will cut all that and by a short route bring us to my take: common necessaries and common comforts of life satisfied, money does not necessarily make us happier.

Chinwuba Iyizoba





Illusory freedom of Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie

12 08 2018

The divorce between Brad and his wife, Angelina Angelina, started since 2016, is building up to a dramatic and sleazy end.

Both, divorcee, lived together unmarried for 10-years. The glamorous couple had 6 children; 3 biological and 3 adopted. When they finally decided to get married in 2014, cracks began to appear.

In a beautiful letter he wrote his wife that went viral on the internet, Brad claimed that his wife was depressed, stressed out, and uncommunicative. The letter was all about his gallant effort to win her back and save his marriage.

It’s unclear whether the double mastectomy Angelina had the previous year contributed to her illness. In May 2013, she had both breasts surgically removed after discovering she carries a genetic mutation that dramatically increases the chance of being diagnosed with potentially fatal breast cancer.

It is not uncommon that such drastic actions could result in regrets and self-loathing as time goes by. After all, a woman’s breast is a significant part of her beauty and attractiveness. Fears that her husband no longer finds her attractive could have triggered a feeling of insecurity that lead to her depression.

Many people were disappointed when in 2016, the couple announced that they were divorcing, citing irreconcilable differences.

Thing went dark quickly. Last year, Brad was investigated and cleared of petty child abuse accusation brought by his wife.

Then again, recently, the media was abuzz when Angelina, again, accused her husband of not paying her child support for their 6 children. A ridiculous accusation given that she is super rich.

In the entire hullabaloo, the real losers are their children.

Already Maddox, their first child, is not on speaking terms with his Dad and is showing signs of anti-social behavior; and Shiloh, their first biological daughter, is in a deep confusion, behaving like a boy and preferring to wear boys’ clothes. Studies show that divorce harms children.

Add to this; different men and women may soon be entering their lives, demanding the entitlement of a new mother or a new father (most Hollywood stars remarry shortly after divorce)

Angelina and Brad should consider their children’s right to be brought up in a stable, intact home and work harder to reconcile their differences.

When married folk talk about “irreconcilable difference” to get a divorce, it’s often about themselves, but they end up injuring their children as well.

Look, when parents sacrifice their own selfishness for love of their children, they have made a choice, and the more they love the greater will be their freedom. If their love is great, their freedom will bear much fruit in their children’s good

Couples who decide to stick it out, for better or worse, make a choice which derives from their blessed freedom. This presupposes self-surrender, for God’s sake, and for the children’s sake.

But unfortunately, Brad and Angelina are greatly ignorant about what freedom really is. They are aspiring to an illusory freedom without limits as though it were the ultimate goal of happiness. Yet, both have been down this road before. Angelina was previously married to an actor called Bob Thornton and walked away. Brad left a fellow actress, Jennifer Aniston for Angelina. Now they are at it again. Where will it go from here?

Marriage is about reconciling irreconcilably differences. When a man and woman marry, they reconcile themselves into one. The two shall become one, as the Holy writ says. We reconcile our differences by deliberately choosing to do so, out of love because love is not true if it’s not forever.

In a way, it all goes to support C. S Lewis arguments that if marriage is not for keeps, it’s better not to get married in the first place, and the Catholic Church insists that marriage is for keeps, and for the sake of children.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

The Editor








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