How to shine as a Parent

25 05 2021
Shine

Parenting is not an easy task, sometimes it requires more courage and right thinking than any other endeavor thus little wonder that many people shy away from having children.

In the film, Shine, child piano prodigy, David Helfgott has a father, Peter Helfgott, who is overbearing and turned their little family of four into tense and anxious place rather than a house of peace.  Peter Helfgott’s anger stems from his difficult childhood, a polish Jew and holocaust survivor, and having to struggle against great odd to fend for himself,  thus he never fails to remind David how lucky he is, often asking him to repeat the words, “ I am a very lucky boy”. Furthermore, he pushed the boy to win at all cost, and would shout and hit the table with his fists if he didn’t and even asked his tutor to teach the boy to play Rachmaninoff, a complicate piece music way above his age and yet would not permit him to accept a scholarship to the London school of music.  Consequently the adolescent David rebelled went off to London on scholarship prompting his father to repudiate him and break all ties with him. Nevertheless, at the London school, he finally leans enough to play the Rachmaninoff at an orchestra, monumental effort that triggers his psychosis. The entire plot of the movie leaves very little doubt that Peter Helfgott parenting style is not the right way to be a good parent.

The most importance lesson to be drawn from Helfgott family tragic history is that parental authority is not all about imposing your will on your children, or a kind of obedience at all cost attitude, in which children obey because they are terrified of the consequences of not doing so. David’s father threw the weight of his authority around every decision he made about David and would no broach a no for an answer and hardly even bothered to ask David’s opinion. For instance when David got the scholarship, despite his misgivings, He should have sat down with his son to discuss the pro and cons and listen to his son opinion after all it his future.

Although David true siblings has refuted the claims made in the film,  arguing that their father was not like that and that he was mischaracterized in the movie for commercial gains, it is still pertinent warning for other parents who perhaps may have toe that line

On the opposite extreme of Peter Helfgott, are parents who cave in to every demand of their children, we can call this defect permissive parenting, where the parents feel the need to cater for every whim and caprice of the child.  This is because, according to this article, ~ “parents fear disciplining their children due to some negative consequences they themselves have suffered because their own parents imposed things on them. Yet, to give to a child everything it wants is to lie to that child. Hence as a result we could conclude that the virtue of a good parent lies in the middle of both extreme. It is a balance between allowing them to act freely and teaching them how to take responsibility for their actions, because freedom and responsibility are inseparable. Furthermore, exercising authority comes from offering children the knowledge and tools they need to grow into responsible adults  and this lies precisely in giving them a good example which they can emulate since children generally observe and learn from what they see their parents and other adults do.  This website has videos explaining the common problem that often arises when bringing up children and it might be worth watching.





Molokia: True story of courageous Priest and Queen working in Leper’s colony

23 10 2020
Young Fr. Damien of Molokai

“I see another law in my member warring against the law of my mind, for when I wish to do go, I find that evil lies at hand.” These words of St. Paul are ever relevant in the life of all men no matter where they find themselves to be. Even in the leper’s colony of Molokia, among the lepers, the law of sin still holds sways, and men still hunger for sex amidst the flies and decaying flesh, as Fr. Damien would find out.

The movie Molokai (1999) is a true story of a young priest, Fr. Damien who volunteers to minister to the leper’s colony off the Hawaiian island of Molokai. He gets there to find not only decay and abandonment, but, worse, sex brothels! Men and women with half rotten limbs, soaking themselves in alcohol and sexually cavort with each other even though they are unsure that they would live to see another day. Fr .Damian instantly sets about rebuilding the broken Church and cleaning up to celebrate the Eucharist, and despite, his bishop’s repeated warning not to touch the lepers,  he warmly shakes the hands of a young boy who came to offer himself as his as altar boy.

As soon as he gets the chance, Fr. Damian rushes into the sex brothels and rescue the children among the inmates and starts a small clinic, and with some other healthier women volunteers, begin taken care of the sick and dying, but more important, he reawakens the love of God in the hearts of the inhabitants of the colony, most of whom have fallen into the despair, tormented with enormous doubt of the existence of God. Fr. Damien reminded them that, He, Jesus, who died on the Cross, bears their pain and isolation and suffering, reminded them that they should unite their torments with His, as atonement for the sin of the world. In short order, joy and singing could be heard in the community and people who have long given up all basic instincts of human decency begin to pick themselves up and clean up and sing. Though there was no cure for their illness, Fr. Damien’s love and compassion helped bring the light of God’ love piecing through the darkness and gloom in their hearts.

News of the revival at the camp soon reach the all Hawaii and the Governor and bishop are full of praises for Fr. Damien, yet when he began making demands for better housing, clothes and most important,  Christian nuns to come to the colony, he was met with severe opposition from the greedy Governor who was unwilling to lose his sources income he usually diverted for personal use, to the lepers colonies, and using the pretext of quarantine and  preventing infections, he bans  Fr. Damien from ever leaving the lepers island, such that he could not even come to make his confessions, and his bishop had to hear his  confession at sea.

When news of this incident reached the crown queen of Hawaii, Queen Liliʻuokalani, her heart was rent with sorrow, and in a magnificent display of love, she decides to visit the leper’s colony herself. It was the high point of the movie, a rare and almost unbelievable scene, and like, Theresa of Calcutta, this queen not only came to the leper’s colony, but picked up and hugged and kissed leper children, children with rotten limbs. Having seen for herself the good work that Fr. Damien was doing, she becomes his advocate and with her help and support he begin receiving more support from the governor and even from the ecclesiastical authorities.

Queen Liliʻuokalani of Hawaii

But the devil had more in stock for the young priest as he finds himself the object of intense sexual attention of one a young woman, Malulani who had been helping him with care for the others. One day, unable to control her passion, she bursts into his dormitory  pretending he seemed sad and dejected and she wished to comfort him cuddled up to him, but Fr. Damien, emphatically, ordered her to leave, saying to her, “You wish to destroy my life’s work?”  For a plate of beans, I would add.

How does the devil offer so little in exchange for Eternal life? For the undoing of  happiness of paradise, for which Fr. Damien  worked all his life,  the cleaning, scrubbing, smell and flies, he had endured for years, all that would have gone up in smoke in minutes for a few minutes of canal pleasure with a half dressed young woman. Yet countless men and women would take that deal. They give up the happiness of paradise, in marital fidelity for the passing pleasure of adultery, and extramarital sex. Innumerable priests and nuns abandon the prize of heaven for passion and license. Countless youth, toss unending happiness out the window at the behest of sex. Yet as Dr Peter Kreeft puts it, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot long keep for what he can never lose.” Many of the patients in that colony knew that they had but a short time before the disease consumed them, and that the time they had was a gift, a chance to get well prepared to pass the entrance exams of into life that never ends which for them was sure to come so soon. Yet even this imminence was insufficient and many still chose to hang on to whatever they could get from fleshy pleasures. Thanks to the courage and perseverance, by the time he lay dying of the leprosy he cleaned up in others, of Fr. Damien’s Molokai leper’s colony was blessed with a community of nuns to care for the sick and continue his life works. He died in 1936 and went like St. Paul to receive his rewards in paradise having fought the good fight and kept the faith.

Molokai: The Story of Father Damien

Article by Chinwuba Iyizoba 




The face of America: Why Gosnell is the honest face of pro- choice

13 09 2020

There’s an African proverb that says that if you want to eat a toad, you should look for a fat and juicy one, so that if anyone calls you a toad eater you would answer to who you are.
Recently, I summoned up the courage to watch the 2018 Gosnell movie, the trial of American biggest serial killer, which is simply the story of physician who runs a filthy hospital in Philadelphia, filled with aborted body parts, who was arrested in 2011. Fainthearted, I opened all the windows, and sat trembling before the movie started, unsure of what I was about to witness. In the end I was glad I watched it, the movie was cleverly done, without traces of gore and more importantly, it answered the question I have been waiting to ask:
“What is the difference between Gosnell and the others abortion providers? The simple answer is none. Rather, he is more honest, because he embodies the American dream of effective and efficient service delivery. In 1972, he had experimented with inserting electric powered spinning knife blender into women’s womb and crushing babies like pawpaw juice, but it didn’t work and some many women died.
But America wants abortion and that is what Kermit Gosnell is all about. He is ready to deliver, fast and cheap, and good businesses, to compete, cut cost. Kermit Gosnell is a good business man, who knows that it is faster and safer to induce delivery and then kill the child rather than go inside a woman’s womb to kill a child. That’s the efficient way, the American way. Like he said those who made these laws are rambling idiot “I have no respect for any of them” and rightly so.
Gosnell lawyers put it more succinctly to the neatly dressed woman ( perhaps from Planned Parenthood) who testified during the trial that she has done more than 30000 abortions but never had to snipped the spine of “a born alive child” with a scissors.
“What would you do if you have a born alive?” The lawyer asked.
“We never have any,” the woman replied.
“That’s because you inject potassium chloride in to the womb to kill the baby, but hypothetically, what would you do if you have a “born alive?”
“We would make sure it is comfortable and allow it to die.”
“Wouldn’t it be more merciful to just snip its spine.” The lawyer asked the hypocritical jury. There was silence.


However, there are plenty of lessons in this movie for women who ask for abortion. The moment they take that decision they should not blame Kermit Gosnell for what happens next. It’s their call, their choice, their body. Similarly, the state of Philadelphia is saying to them, “Though it is your right to get rid of your baby, nevertheless, once you seek out people like Gosnell and place yourself in their hands, accept the consequences, don’t expect the state to interfere, inspect, or inquire.
America is likewise saying to them, “You want abortion; you get it, with all that comes with it. Don’t expect the press to report what happened, they aren’t going to do that because you won, women have won the right to do as they please with their bodies and we will let them.”
And why shouldn’t Gosnell’s clinic or any other abortion clinic for that matter, smell? Are killing fields expected to smell like roses? During the French Revolution, it was said that the fetid odor from the guillotine could be perceived from miles away. Likewise the grisly death camps of Auschwitz II-Birkenau did not smell of jasmine. What’s more, the child whose life is snuffed out garners no advantage even if the place was as exquisite as Buckingham palace.
Perhaps, the filthy smell and grime should have flagged the unfortunate women of the fowl thing they had embarked on. The filth should have brought them to their senses, to run away and put their trust in God who can unlock possibilities. Every abortion is a fitly act.
I would argue that Gosnell is the most honest face of American pro- choice or more accurately, pro-death movement. The filth and smell they decry are tangible manifestation of the final consequences of pro-death. Gosnell’s calloused indifference and self confidence mirrors the swaggering pro-choice America, champion of freedom, yet killers innocents. It’s the face of a legal system that protects dogs but permits egregious violence on the unborn. Gosnell calls out many Americans who, like ostrich, bury their heads in the sand rather than face what they know in conscience is evil and wrong.

In truth, the real hero of the movie is the relentless blogger who without pay and against the denigrating attitude of smug lawyers and police officers, managed to bring the trail to the world, thwarting the mainstream mafia code of silence. She deserves credit and she demonstrates that truth can no longer be gagged by money and politics. She stands as model of how social media could be used for good as opposed to frivolity or worse, evil.

by Chinwuba Iyizoba





Inspiring Story of “Iron Lady” Muniba Mazari

19 07 2019
Muniba Masari

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. 20 yro Muniba Masari’s life was shattered by a car accident when her husband who was driving fell asleep and the car fell into the ditch. Though he managed to jump out and save himself, she sustained lots of injuries:  fractured wrist, collar bone and rib cage; because of the rib cage injury, her lungs and liver where badly injured. She couldn’t breath, she had lost urine and bowel control. To add to that, her backbone where completely crushed. She was paralyzed for the rest of her life.

Two and half months in hospital and multiple surgeries later, the doctor said she will never walk or have a child again.

She was devastated and asked her mother, “Why me. Why am I even alive?”

Her mother said to her, “This too shall pass. God has a plan for you; I don’t know what it is.”

Those magical words set Muniba’s heart afire. She had always wanted to be an artist, and though the doctors said she could no longer use her hands, she asked her brothers to bring her canvas, and when they brought them, she did her first painting inside the hospital and that began her process of recovery.

When she was discharged, her doctors told her to lie down straight on her bed for 2 yrs.

“That was when”, she said, “I realized how lucky people were who could walk around, go outside, and they don’t even know it” She decided she was going to help others to know how lucky they were.

Her first step was to liberate herself from her fears. So she took a paper and jotted down all her fears.

Her biggest fear was losing her husband, divorce. She was 18yro when she got married to the man her father chose. It was never a happy marriage. Her husband had survived the accident unscathed and scorned her because of her condition and was having an affair with another woman.

 “I was clinging on to this person who didn’t want me, Muniba said, and from that day, I decided to liberate him, to set him free.”

But in so doing, she set herself free also, from worries.

Perhaps, this was what St. Josemaria meant when he wrote “Is it not true that as soon as you cease to be afraid of the Cross, of what people call the cross, when you set your will to accept the Will of God, then you find happiness, and all your worries, all your sufferings, physical or moral, pass away?”

 “In fact”, Muniba continued, “I was so free that on the day that I heard that he was getting married again, I sent him a text saying congratulations, I am happy for you, and he knows that I pray for him today.”

Unawares, she had followed the teaching of Jesus who said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. – Mt 5:43-48 

Again, her fear of never having a child of her own evaporated when she realized that there were thousands of children in Pakistan who had no one to love them. So she decided to help them, by adopting one as her own, and a cool stream of happiness flowed back into her bruised heart. Today Muniba has a healthy young son whom she loves and who loves her, more, she goes around giving talks and helping people see the good side of life, and appreciate what they have.

Every great athlete will tell you that they are at their best when they are not self focused or self conscious, but rather when they are totally focused on the outside, on the game, likewise, people who have suffered some disaster are best able to overcome when they resist the urge to bitter self pity, focus on helping others.

Muniba’s pain and suffering opened her eyes and made her more understanding with the sufferings of others and thus made her a better person.

“There are incidents that happen, that deform you, yet they mold you into the best version of you,” Muniba said, thus affirming the truth that behind the dark clouds of pain lies the silver lining of realizing a better, more beautiful version ourselves, like gold purified by fire, like rough diamond made valuable by knocks and chisels blows.

Understanding God

“God has a purpose you,” her mother had said to her and those magic words had set her heart into a search mode, looking outside of self. It awoken her curiosity to discover what she can do to help others, for to suffer need is something that can happen to anybody, but knowing how to endure it belongs to great souls, to souls who have loved much.

It is understandable that most people avoid suffering like a bat avoids fire, but if the suffering has come to stay, then rejection would be futile and harmful because the hand of the clock no matter how we wish cannot be turned back.

The wise thing is acceptance. And making the best of the bad situation

This is why the Christian message is so powerful and is called the good news.  God emptied himself, became man, and humbled himself to die on the Cross, so that people like Muniba will know that God loves them since he himself choose to suffer similar affliction, but not just her, but indeed all men and women of all times

Prior to Jesus message, suffering was insufferable, and those who suffered had no hope. Then worldly power and wealth was everything and a man’s worth was largely measured by what he had.

Christ turned all that upside down. He, being rich, became become poor, born in a Manger, the dwelling place of animals, lived poor and preach that the poor are blessed, and that all the things that men cringe and fly from are the true treasures, hunger, thirst for Righteous, meekness. Further, He not only preached, His death and resurrection sealed His teachings as authentic and indeed divine.

Though Muniba isn’t a Christian, she has grasped the tenants Christianity, and just like in the Passion, the Cross ceased to be a symbol of punishment and became instead a sign of victory, so Muniba’s wheel cheer and urine bag is a sign hope and victory for all. At 42, she has won so many international award as an artist, motivational speaker, activist, TV Host, and Pakistan’s First Goodwill Ambassador to UNWomen Pakistan.

“I always go around with a big smile on my face,” Muniba says, an iron woman whose example is urging everyone to make up their minds to follow the way of self-surrender even when the Cross is on their shoulders, she urges us to have a smile on our lips, so that light can enter our souls.

by Chinwuba Iyizoba





Big Brother Naija Trojan horse

4 03 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

They came in 2006 selling the story of a talent hunt but sold Nigerians a Trojan horse.

BBNnaija 2019 audition venue was like a scene from world war Z. Crowds of indigent youths thronged the venue pleading and wailing, crushed against iron railings, some broke their legs, and all were desperate to get in. They clawed their way coveting the $100k prize money, a ticket out of poverty worth dying for. Yet the big brother show is a rip off.

BBNaija 2019 audition
Crowds of Nigerian youths at BBNaija 2019 audition

The show is about 12 contestants living in an isolated house for 90 days, competing for a winner takes-it-all star prize by avoiding eviction. To please viewer to vote “stay” they must shed all dignity, self-respect and modesty, even engaging in explicit sex while the camera rolls.

Sex sells

With big colored eye on profit, the producers encourage sexual experimentation among the housemates on every episode, often plying them alcohol to loosen things up, and supplying cartons of condoms. BBNaija portrays sex as casual and consequence-free to minors who watch these episodes.

“Just as we read specific books and show educational movies to our children in hopes that they learn lessons from the characters, teens are more likely to have sex after being exposed to sexual content in the media,” says Dr. Carolyn Ross on Psychology Today

Parents who allow their teens to watch BBNaija shouldn’t be surprised if they begin having sex, and perhaps even high-risk sex and catching sexually transmitted diseases and becoming pregnant. They may even become sex addicts.

Early exposure to pornography (or explicit sexual content on television), says Dr. Ross, is a risk factor for sex addictions and other intimacy disorders. In one study of 932 sex addicts, 90 percent of men and 77 percent of women reported that pornography was a factor in their addiction.

In 2018, having interviewed Christians and Muslims, the Nigerian Vanguard wrote a good piece of the harmful effect of the show, denouncing it’s deviation to open immorality. Yet, the show goes on, and so many poor young people across the nation besieged the audition venues seeking last month, while families’ lap up episode after episode.

Follow the money.

The money comes from the evictions.  Every week when different housemate are placed on eviction, and the public use their money to vote them back in.  The votes come in millions. During one of recent BBNaija finale, it was reported that 170 Million votes were cast via text messages that cost N30. If you do the math, that is approximately $14M earned by the organizers.  

Gifty Brian Ajumobi ex-house mate

Since it is winner take all, all but the one winner gets paid while others walk away, broken, sold and scared and some never manage to pick up the broken pieces. (There are many unwed mothers’ among the ex-housemates.) Many of the used young ladies can’t find husbands, some like ex-house mate, Gift Brian Ajumobi, has multiple sex partners and children out of wedlock and is presently embroiled in paternity suites.

All in the name of entertainment

Whatever happened to the Nigerian family sense of modesty so admired by the world a few years ago? Now we pay to watch our youths feed, play and copulate. How diabolically naive we have become. Are we waiting for same-sex fornications and bestiality to add to the fun?

Parents and families should wake up and throw out this Trojan horse in their midst. A society willing to compromise its value and honor is a society without value and honor.

 It’s unfortunate that Atiku Abubaker who recently lost the presidential election, in a bid to garner popularity among the young, tweeted a congratulatory message to last year’s BBNaija winner.

Educators, writers, politicians and legislators must keep in mind that a great part of social and even personal problems has its roots in the failure or the collapse of family life. To fight against juvenile delinquency or against the prostitution of women and at the same time to favor the discrediting or deterioration of the institution of the family is both senseless and contradictory.

In spite of the obvious and genuine harm done by this show, we see no protests, families carrying placard and politicians debating on how to proscribe the show or prosecute their promoters, rather viewing statistics are spiking and more and more young people turn up each year for auditions.

It must be understood that the role of parents and families in social and political life cannot be merely passive. They themselves must be ‘the first to take steps to see that the laws and institutions of the State, films and reality TV’s do not offend, but support and positively enhance family life and welfare of minors

Nigerians should reject this show, looking for disruptive ways to ensure that those who insist on promoting this heist stop making money. They should also besiege the news media with the reports of the negative influences on children, calling out the promoters and exposing their true agenda.

On the other hand, families should support and promote family friendly TV shows that teach skills, virtues and discipline to children.





Grandpa Paid to Abort Pretty Girl: Brooke Shields

23 11 2018

In a world gone mad, it’s not uncommon for parents to pay for their children to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. The recent revelation by superstar, Brooke Shields that her grandfather paid her mom to terminate her is insane.

According to Life news.com, Shields writes in her book that, when her mother became pregnant, her boyfriend did not appear ready to assume the role of father. He told his own Dad, who in turn, decided to convince her mother to “terminate the pregnancy.” Her grandfather explained to her mother how an out-of-wedlock birth could jeopardize her father’s standing on the “Social Registry.” Her granddad even went so far as to give her mother money for the abortion (This was pre-Roe v. Wade).
Instead of visiting an abortionist, her mother went to an antique store and used the money to buy a coffee table.

Shields remarks that the table ironically became a favorite of hers, which she used to pull herself up from the floor as a toddler.

She writes, “The table saved my life and helped me to stand.”

It is hard to imagine the pop culture landscape without Brooke Shields. To think someone of such beauty and grace could have had her life ended before birth is so mind-boggling. Shields is a mother herself, so an entire family could easily have been swept away if her mother had chosen to cave into pressure and abort.

How many stars have been lost to abortion? You might think it’s impossible to count, but actually the number is more than 56 million. For every child who is aborted is a star in God’s galaxy—every single life has value and dignity.

We now just have one more beautiful face to remember as we contemplate the thin line between life and death in our world today.

To every, parent or grandparent who has a granddaughter pregnant out of wedlock or a son who has got some girl pregnant out of wedlock: that, pregnancy… that child may be the greatest blessing and support in your old age. Help her keep it and find out.





Lessons from the Boy who died after swallowing a snail

11 11 2018

To impress his mates, a young boy swallowed a garden snail and died.

According to Fox News, the teenager from Sydney’s upper north shore was having a laugh and some red wine with mates in the backyard, “trying to act like grown-ups”.

It was 2010 and it was a night that would change his life, and the lives of everybody around him, forever.

A slug crawled across the concrete patio and, teens being teens, a dare emerged for Sam to eat it.

One of his best friends, Jimmy Galvin, later described the moment.

“We were sitting over here having a bit of a red wine appreciation night, trying to act as grown-ups and a slug came crawling across here,” he said.

“The conversation came up, you know. ‘Should I eat it?’ And off Sam went. Bang. That’s how it happened.”

He didn’t become sick immediately, but complained of serious pain in his legs in the days after.

He was worried it might’ve been a symptom of eating the slug, but his mother told him not to worry: “No one gets sick from that,” she said.

Sam was worried he might have developed multiple sclerosis, like his father, but that was ruled out.

Doctors later determined Sam was infected with rat lungworm.

The worm that infected Sam is usually found in rodents, but snails and slugs can also become infected when they eat rat feces.

Sam contracted eosinophilic meningo-encephalitis, which many people recover from. Sam didn’t.

He fell into a coma for 420 days and, when he woke, he had acquired a brain injury.

Last week, eight years after he fell ill, Sam died. “The Sunday Project’s” Lisa Wilkinson broke the news during a somber but brief segment.

“We have some sad news for you now. Earlier this year we brought you the story of Sam Ballard who, on a dare from his mates, ate a slug. He contracted rat lung disease with devastating effects,” Wilkinson said.

“His friends have stuck by him ever since. On Friday, Sam passed away surrounded by his family and loyal, loving mates.

“His last words to his mom: ‘I love you’.”

Katie Ballard, Sam’s mother, described how hard life had been for Sam. He couldn’t eat for himself and needed help going to the bathroom.

While he was initially unable to move his limbs, the former Barker College student worked hard to regain some movement.

Katie had said “he understands” everything, and his mates know that was true.

Galvin said he apologized to Sam for not stopping him that night in 2010. When he did, the former rugby standout “just started bawling his eyes out”.

In a way, Sam’s story bears a sad similarity to the way sin acts in our lives. We often do what we know we ought not do because we want to be rich and famous or desire to stand out and have our way, pushing aside the laws of God and good sense, yet it ultimately leads to our death. Sam’ s reckless action, spurred by pride and vanity, kicking aside good sense of hygiene, took his his life. Yet, friends who challenged and cheered him on, were hopelessly unable to help as his life ebbed away. Sad for his parents, life has played a very dirty trick on them; a lesson for all about the dangers of pride and honor seeking, contrary to good sense.

Article by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor





Playground Inspiration

15 03 2018

Weight Watcher

Mrs.  Rhonda is one of the 25,000 Weight Watchers

Jane Nidetch was a 214-pound housewife. She was desperate to lose weight. After two steady months of dieting, she was still 50 pounds overweight. So she invited six overweight friends to her house to share her diet and talk about how to stay on it.

Today, 28 years later, one million members attend 25,000 Weight Watchers’ meetings in 24 countries every week.

Mrs. Nidetch says she got her inspiration to help people take control of their lives, from a childhood incident. As a teenager she used to walk past a playground. Mothers brought kids there to play, and then they would get so deep in gossip that they completely forgot about the children. The toddlers sat on their swings, but no one was giving them a push start. So she gave each of them a push. And you know what happens after that: the swinger starts pumping and swinging by himself.

“That’s what my role in this weight watching has been,” says Mrs Nidetch, “I’m here to give others a push start.”





I gave up fighting those who gossip about me and became successful

28 02 2018

*Worth Reading*

I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. She smiled and said to me.. “I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…I stopped fighting with my in laws…I stopped fighting for attention…I stopped fighting to meet public expectation of me…I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people..I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight…And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas and my destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful.”

*Some fights are not worth your time.*
*Choose what you fight for wisely.*





Baby, We’ve Got Your Back!

20 11 2016

baby-we-got-your-back

Parenthood’s slightly despondent president, Cecile Richards, had a lot to think about when she learned that her gal Hillary suffered a defeating blow this week. What to do, she wondered? So she promptly sent out an e-mail to her supporters that told us a whole lot about her game going forward.

She articulated four words and told her donors to remember them well: “THESE DOORS STAY OPEN.”

We have heard these words before. These are the words Planned Parenthood used after the Colorado shooting spree by deranged killer Robert Dear . And these are the four words that title Planned Parenthood’s 2015 Annual Report .

But these words, written in the wake of the Clinton defeat, now represent something quite different. They are the vow of an irate woman and her Planned Parenthood adherents in all 50 states to keep the killing going, the maiming going, and the cash rolling in no matter what. Richards writes : “Planned Parenthood has been here for 100 years, and one thing is clear: We will never back down and we will never stop fighting to ensure that Planned Parenthood patients have access to the care they need, people who come from communities that need our continued support in this new reality – immigrants, people of color, the LGBTQ community, people of faith, and more [sic]. Health care should not be political.”

We find these words ironic to say the least. First, Planned Parenthood’s very existence is a matter of political maneuvering – an arm-twisting to acquire its millions of taxpayer dollars and lobbying to make sure that the candidates are elected. But this time that failed!

Second, equating abortion and birth control with healthcare for everyone is like saying that using a lethal injection to treat a wart is healthcare. The patient is dead, but indeed the wart is gone!

Third and most important, Richards’ words provide those of us who affirm the lives of the preborn and who truly respect women – especially expectant mothers – just the recipe we need to ensure that someday very soon Planned Parenthood’s doors will close. The four words “These doors stay open” are a challenge, and, thanks be to God, we are up for it.

Planned Parenthood’s world is all about killing. Jim Sedlak has written about Richards’ double speak, saying, “Dangerous pills and chemicals are called ‘health products,’ ending the lives of innocent human beings is called ‘healthcare,’ and franchisees of death are now called ‘Planned Parenthood affiliates.'”

We must remember and have hope, for it was then-Congressman Mike Pence who worked in Congress to defund Planned Parenthood. His effort, the Pence Amendment, never made it to President Obama’s desk, but Pence hasn’t given up the fight. And now he is in a position, with both President-elect Trump and our hard work, to make the politically correct Planned Parenthood the subject of a total cutback in funding – an act that will hopefully lead to its demise.

Those doors will not stay open. We want to make America great again by shutting down Planned Parenthood once and for all. That is our goal, our promise, and our strategic plan. Building a culture of life begins with shutting those doors. Period.

To every preborn child at every stage of his biological development, we say today: “Baby, we’ve got your back!”

by Judie Brown

If you want to know how much money the abortion industries makes click here>





10 Lessons about Condoms You Need before Losing Your Virginity By: CARLA M.

3 02 2016

 

Why I chose to wait

Some girls believe it is safe to have sex if the guy is using a condom. They think it will keep them from getting pregnant or catching sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, genital warts or Herpes.  If you are one of such girls, do you know the whole story? Do you know that the claim that condom is safe and can protect you from getting pregnant or being infected with sexually transmitted diseases like HIV is FALSE?

When doctors work on someone with HIV, they put on two pairs of gloves, a full gown over their clothes, a mask and goggles. Even then, they don’t feel completely “safe”. How then do you think having sex with a guy, exchanging bodily fluids, sweat, saliva and a whole lot of other stuff, that a thin slip of condom will protect you? Here are 10 hard facts about condoms you need to ponder before using it

  1. Every latex condom has intrinsic holes of about 5 microns diameter–these holes enable it to stretch when pulled on. The HIV virus is about 0.1 microns and can pass through condoms like a house cat passes through a garage door. Never mind when they say that condoms are, “waterproof”. The human skin is also waterproof. Does it mean our skin has no pores? We’d all die if our skin didn’t have sweat pores. The skin is waterproof and helps to conserve the water content of the body, but also allows sweat through the pores when we are hot.
  1. During manufacture, some condoms get inflicted with defective holes of 50 microns in as much as 2.5 percent of each batch passed.
  1. While putting on condoms, finger nails and rings can snag it and make it leak without the knowledge of the user
  1. During sex, 13% of the time, condoms bust or break in action. 21% of the times, condoms slip down or off the penis, spilling all the sperm.
  2. Condoms break during sex because of the five sets of stress acting on it, expanding the holes, and weakening its membrane. These five sets of stress are:
  • Uniform lateral stress from stretching
  • Pressure stress perpendicular to the lateral stress
  • Twisting and angular stress
  • Frictions stress from rubbing
  • Stress  from mixture of bodily fluids and lubricant of the condom and repeated, simultaneous application of mechanical stress
  1. Most guys don’t even use condoms.

A guy explained why he did not use condoms with his girl: “well, I had to convince and convince, and when she finally said yes, I could not risk going outside to buy condoms since she might change her mind before I came back”

“Surveys and other researches have been conducted to find out how often and how well condoms are used. The results vary from study to study. Findings, however, generally suggest that:

  • Only about a half of sexually active guys report using a condom the last time they had sex.
  • When given a basic list of procedures for correct condom use, less than half of sexually active guys report they use condoms correctly.
  • The more sexually experienced people are (in terms of the number of lifetime partners), the less likely they are to use condoms consistently.
  • In a study of couples who knew their partner was HIV positive, only about half used condoms consistently.
  1. Study shows that “latex breaks down in heat, yet condoms are transported in trucks that get so hot you can fry an egg!” They are also kept in glove compartments of cars, or inside wallets
  1. Many women whose husbands use only the condoms as their means of preventing conception become pregnant within 12 months (pregnancy is possible only on a few days in the month when the woman is fertile), whereas HIV infection is possible every time an infected person has sex and the human sperm is 500 times bigger that the HIV virus. Note also that women catch HIV 5 times faster than men.
  1. Thus, it is safe to conclude that condoms provide less protection than most people think. The U.S. surgeon general, “when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years. If anyone has been exposed to HIV… It’s been nice knowing you!”

And lastly, neither do condoms provide protection for the heart, mind and emotions. Maybe waiting for that special lifetime partner is worth the investment – it’s certainly safer.

Source: Family Planning Perspective

 

 

 





10 Benefits of Remaining a Virgin till Marriage by Nancy Hanna

31 01 2016

wedding romance

With so many sex movies and sexual images all around, girls are under pressure from their boyfriends to have sex. They can no longer wait till marriage. Are you pressed to have sex before you marry?  Here are 10 benefits of waiting till you marry to have sex.

  1. Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly it can create boundless energy; when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is a gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure, to help in creating a deep companionship with one’s spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.
  2. Sexual activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their life.
  3. The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.
  4. Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life, the person you committed yourself to stay with forever in marriage. Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to give to your spouse. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Don’t lose something so precious in a thoughtless way.
  5. Those who engage in premarital sex run a high risk of contracting one of the many venereal diseases rampant today, as well as losing their fertility. Not just AIDS, but other common disfiguring diseases like herpes have no cure.
  6. Some venereal diseases have no symptoms and many couples discover many years later that they became infertile because of these diseases. Infertility experts estimate that 80% of today’s infertility is due to venereal diseases contracted before they married.
  7. The best and only method that guarantees 100% against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases is to wait for marriage to have sex and maintain fidelity in your marriage.
  8. Premarital sex breaks the 10 Commandments given by God. The 10 Commandments are given to man by God to make man happy. They are not outdated and they are not restrictive. If we follow these laws, we can create happy and prosperous lives. If we don’t follow them, we will pay a heavy price in divorce, disease, abortions, illegitimate children and loneliness. Modern men make a big mistake when they think that they can break these eternal laws and not suffer consequences.
  1. Premarital sex runs the risk of conceiving illegitimate children. Numerous scientific studies show that the children of single mothers suffer psychologically and are less successful socially and academically than children from intact families. Above all, children need both their father and their mother. It is wrong to risk having children who will never have their father’s love, protection and care.
  2. If you date and you don’t have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of sexual involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce. The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.

True love waits. If a boy or girl truly loves you, they will want the best for you. They will not want you to suffer fear of disease, unwanted pregnancy and the psychological difficulties of premarital sex. They will want to experience love with you only in the very best place of all – the love nest of marriage.

 





Adele Makes Womanliness Attractive Once More

22 11 2015

Adele 1

Music lovers the world over are hailing Adele Laurie Blue Adkins’ new album, 25 as a great success.  Her debut album in 2008, won numerous awards including a Grammy for best New Artist. Her second album, 21, in 2011 sold over 30million copies  and was the UK’s fourth best selling album of all time and had her listed at number five on VH1’s 100 Greatest Women in Music.

25 is Adele’s third studio album. It was released in November 2015 and the lead single, “Hello” released earlier in October 2015 has already been viewed over half a billion times on YouTube and  a worldwide number-one hit and became the first song to sell over one million digital copies within a week of its release in the US

With a stunning cinematography and vocals resonating with emotions, “Hello” is a song about a woman trying to get back in touch with a man whose heart she had broken many years ago. This song hints at a truth that is hidden the hearts of many of us.

Deep in our hearts, we know that to heal a world filled with broken hearts and wrecked relationships, we must learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness. With more than  500,000 divorces in the US alone, an incredible  selfishness has engulfed  many people’s lives and this song is telling  people to make the effort to reconnect,  to say sorry, to apologize and make up for all the wrongs.

Adele, herself, knows all the hurts of divorce. Her father, Mark Evans left when she was two, leaving her 20-year-old mother to raise her single-handedly. She knows how much suffering she could have been spared if only Papa knew how to say hello, how to say, I am sorry.

Adele is unafraid of being herself. Criticized by celebrities such as Karl Lagerfeld and Joan Rivers for her weight, Adele said that she is happy with her weight   “I like looking nice, but I always put comfort over fashion. I don’t find thin girls attractive; be happy and healthy. I’ve never had a problem with the way I look. I’d rather have lunch with my friends than go to a gym.”  She scorns the modern pop culture that is driving an appalling numbers of girls into starving themselves, bingeing and purging, mutilating their bodies all in other to look beautiful, to be accepted.

In her music videos we see none of the shameless nudity so prevalent in MTV music videos such as Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking ball”. Nudity and utter animalistic immodesty- on- steroids so often on display in music videos these days are not only an assault on minors who might be watching, but also an assault on our shared human culture which is gradually being transformed to an animal one.

adele 2

Animals do not need modesty because they neither think nor love. But modesty is important in human society; it brings out the best in everyone. Modest female singers like Adele make womanliness attractive once more in a transcendent kind of way.

adele 3

The secret that make Adele’s music videos so alluring is that breath of fresh air, that sweet whiff of the nobility we once had and but lost. Adele’s fashionable modesty is ultimately more erotic than Miley Cyrus licentiousness. Men are more excited, by the twinkling eyes and the slender ankle peeking out from the long skirt than they are by casually exposed body parts and effortless conquests in the sack. She is mischievous and modest in her music videos and her modesty is the logical consequence of her having personal dignity even as she refuses to unveil what should remain hidden.

Then again, she is not only unafraid of being herself, she is unafraid of having children, an aspect of womanhood most denigrated and scoffed by high society women.

In 2013, when Adele won the Academy Award for Best Original Song for the James Bond theme, “Skyfall” thinking it her proudest moment of her life, and thinking  it best to quit when the ovation was loudest, she decided to leave the music industry.  Her son’s coming of age changed her mind. She said her son inspired her to start recording music again in order for him to “know what I do”.

Always inspired by her motherhood, she praised Madonna’s, Ray of Light, as her best album because Madonna sang it when she was a mother.

adele 4

Adele is a hardworking courageous artist who writes her own songs, taking pains to be original. After her second album, she struggled with a writer’s block for 2 years that could have destroyed lesser songwriters and her victory is a ray of hope for many artists hopelessly gripped by block and self doubt

Adele was given her first recording contract by XL Recordings after a friend helpfully posted her demo on MySpace. Now she tries to reciprocate by helping other people. She gives regular free concerts to raise money for the less privileged and makes no discrimination of any kind on the grounds of race or color or class.

adele5

Article written by Chinwuba Iyizoba, Editor of Authors-choice

 








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