A life worth living: Denzel and Pauletta Washington’s 40 yrs Marriage

6 09 2020
(L-R) Denzel, Pauleta, Jnr, Katie

When Socrates says that the unexamined life is not worth living, he means that only when we strive to acquire self-knowledge would our life be meaningful. This truth was evident to all gathered last year at the American film institute (AFI) Life Achievement Award to Denzel Washington. Delivering the opening speech to a packed hall full of stars and superstars,  Julia Roberts thanked Denzel for mentoring and helping her put her life back together when she was going through a rough patch during the shooting of the movie Pelican brief in 1992. She said that his warm human qualities drew her to open her troubles to him, and Denzel and his wife took her problems to heart and helped her through it. Undoubtedly, this is an amazing story in Hollywood, an industry famous for men taking advantage of vulnerable women. A black man going out of his way to help a white woman, but not just that, he introduces her to his wife.

Julia Roberts

There is valuable lesson here for married men: If you wish to help other women, do so with your wife. That way your help will be more effective and what’s more, you will not run the unnecessary risk of endangering your marriage by getting emotional entangled with a woman who is not your wife and whom your wife know nothing about. The devil that drives men to adultery thrives in secrecy. When fail to introduce their wives to the women they work with, leave the door open to possible infidelity.

Again,  in Hollywood  where serial divorce, adultery and infidelity are the norm, there is no doubt that a good role model like Denzel Washington who have risen to the very top of that industry and yet kept his sense of duty, family and honor intact is in high demand.

Interestingly, when Denzel finally mounted in the midst of thundering applause, he began by thanking God and asking God’s forgiveness for what he had done badly.

Denzel delivering his thank you address

“I m up here to say thank you to God,  for giving me this ability, for blessing me, for shaping me, for chastising me, for teaching me, for punishing me, for allowing me to be a vessel to touch people around the world.”

 Few actors can boast of the kind of success that Denzel Washington has had in Hollywood: two times Oscar winner, starred in at least 53 movies–most blockbusters, in a career that spanned 40 years, yet even fewer actors can boast of his capacity for self-examination. While success often spurs disdain for religion, Denzel’s success, on the other hand, makes him more humble in acknowledging God and his instrument for sustaining, nurturing, and supporting him.

In his speech, he appreciated his mother at 95, and declared that his father taught him how to be a man. Turning to his wife of 40 years, he proclaimed, “I would not be alive, without Pauletta Washington. 40 years of sacrifice, 40 years of forgiveness, she taught me about faith, spirituality, love, real love, unwavering love, inspite of myself.”

Older than Denzel when they got married, Pauletta has played the balancing force in his life helping to anchor him from the illusory world of make belief to the nitty-gritty of reality. Mother of his children, she surely must have fought many fearful battles with jealousy whenever it rears its ugly head as beautiful dashing damsels  flock towards her handsome husband ready to give him anything if he so much as smile at them. However, she did not let fear override the trusting confidence that every spouse deserves. Her devotion to the home, made him long to return home, to her and his children. Today, she is blessed to hear him acknowledge it before the rich and powerful and attest to the truth that the power of a woman is not solely in her external beauty, but the internal as well.

Unfortunately, many people claim that happy marriage is all about the money and that having made money, Denzel and Pauletta no longer need struggle to love each other. This is not true. A cursory look at the dismal marital landscape of Hollywood full of battered, violent, and ruptured marriages, with all the abuses, infidelities, and misery is sufficient to refute this argument.

Denzel and Pauletta have confirmed that marital fidelity is possible regardless of the environment. Their example is a challenge to those who have already caved in to licentiousness to pick up the pieces and begin again, and an encouragement to the young. It also demonstrates that the prevalence of toxic culture opposed to life, values and spirit, is largely due to individual choices.

Denzel then played a video where Pauletta’s father said:

“We were put her for a reason. God created man and God intends for us to love all mankind and by being in a loving mood, caring for one another, that is our purpose for life. We should care for one another, and we should love one another.”

His words echoed the words of Jesus Christ, “Love one another by this all men will know that you are my disciples,” reminding all that all lives matter. Love does not discriminate. Jesus said to love our enemies and do good to them who hate us and thus we will be like our father in heaven. The hate we see today is the proof that we have ditched the Christian faith and that witness is lacking.

 “In this twitter-tweet mean world we have created for our children,” Denzel continued, “the least we can do is to consider what we have done, and think about the young people, the future and individually, collectively do the best we can to try and turn this thing around.”

 Perhaps to the surprise of many of his colleagues whom have been blaming President Trump for all the evil in the world, Denzel said, “I blame no one, I look in the mirror.”

“On the other side of it,” he continued, “what an opportunity we have–because tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives– what an opportunity we have to practice what Pauletta’s father preached.”  

 In the end, Denzel qualities as an actor, for which he was being honored, is the quality expected of all, but more especially from Christians. The Christian faith calls all Christians to do all things well as Christ did. St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, has preached message of sanctification of work since 1928 that Christian holiness depends on work well done, for God.

Finally, Denzel has borne witness that a well-done work leads us towards God, and that work sanctifies, and sanctifies others. Millions the world over watched as Julia Roberts narrated how working   with Denzel and seeing how much he loves his wife made a deep impression on her.  Julia, who herself is a remarried divorcee, knows more than anyone does the challenges of marriage. She has now been married for 17 years with her present husband perhaps due to her emulating the life of Denzel, a life worth living.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor of Authors-choice

Marry her! People tell man who shielded girlfriend from shooter with his body

8 08 2019

They say that real men protect women. The terrifying video of a man who used his own body to shield his girlfriend from the shooter in the recent shooting at Dayton Ohio has gone viral. Camryn Crowder, 24, jumped on top of his girlfriend, Brittany Dungey to shield her from flying bullets when a gunman killed nine people, including his sister, and injured 26, in less than one minute on Sunday, 4th August 2019

CCTV footage showed Crowder using his body to shield Brittany as bullet flew.

The couple was walking through the Oregon District around 1am when they heard gunshots ring out. Brittany took off running and Crowder instinctively pushed her to the ground and pulled her body under him and army crawled towards the curb, checked that the coast was clear, then both ran away from the scene

“I turn my head and I see some guy pointing a gun,” Crowder said, adding he pushed his girlfriend to the ground “to make sure she didn’t get hit.”

Many of the comments on the dailymail.co.uk where the story was reported are calling on the couple to get properly married.

 They have been living together unmarried for a while and Brittany recently gave birth to a baby girl for Crowder.  After what happened, she should be rest assured that he is a real man ready to protect her and marry him.

Brittany pregnant with Crowder’s baby

Studies show that marriage confers a lot of benefit such as happiness and stability to a relationship.

Married couples are generally healthier and live longer lives than their single peers, they are also more economically stable and earn much more than the unmarried counterparts, and typically, the economic capacity of a married couple’s household exceeds that of a single-parent household by nearly three times the amount in income.

 Also research show that children do better in a stable home with a married mother and father, and are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier than their peers raised in non-married families and are significantly less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, and thoughts of suicide. Read more about the benefits of marriage here

Whatever they decide going forward, Crowder has restored people’s faith that real men still exist. He has been praised as real hero and rightly so, for believe it or not or not, this old notion that real men protect women, is fast disappearing everywhere.

Chinwuba Iyizoba

The Millionaire Who Loves Street Children

27 05 2019

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Mully family

His father was an alcoholic and often beat his mother. At 6, he knew the pains of hunger, cruelty and indifference and at 17, he ran away from home, walking all the way to Nairobi. There, a kind lady offered him a job. He later worked for a construction company and started his own transport business, with one taxi, which grew to a fleet, then a bus company, a transport company and finally, an insurance company, and by age 40, Charles Mully was a millionaire.

He began living in luxury, enjoying the company of the rich and powerful and forgot his past.

“I associated with big people, rich people,” he said. His home life was also a happy, he and wife; Esther lived with their eight children in a beautiful, large home on a big spread of land near the Kenyan town of Eldoret.

Wake up call

One day, while parking his car, a group of street children approached and asked him for money. Suspecting that they probably would use the money for drugs, he ignored them. When he returned, his car was gone.

Shocked and dismayed, not for his lost car, but because for the first time, he remembered himself as a little abandoned boy fending for himself, with no one to help.

He saw himself in those street children. He realized that they must despise him as strongly as he had despised the rich and powerful who wouldn’t lift a finger to help him. Now he was rich and powerful, and he wasn’t lifting a finger to help.

The excuses the rich gave for not helping him were the same excuses he was not giving for not helping. He was no different. His was selfish, a coward and a lover of comfort. He wept for hours, wrestling with a hard decision that was pressing urgently upon him.

“I saw myself in their eyes,” he said of those desperate children. For the next three years, I saw the children everywhere.”

Finally, he decided. He would sell his businesses and take into his own home the children from the slums.

When he told his family of his decision, they were horrified. They had a comfortable life and didn’t want to be inconvenienced.

His wife was heartbroken by his decision. “People told my wife to take me to the hospital,” he said with a chuckle. “They thought I had lost my mind.”

Yet, she supported his plan to sell off his business and take in street children.  His biological children were alarmed when their father started bringing home children from the streets, their alarm turned to anger when they realized they had to share their rooms.

“Daddy will come home later from walking the streets, smells of streets children filling the house, and some skin disease,” his daughter said.

Soon, their large home had nearly 100 orphans from various tribes, sleeping in every corner of a house. The house was soon too small to carry on and they rented a much bigger house. After taking in hundreds of children the Mully’s needed even bigger house, and so they moved to a dry and deserted land with nothing on it, not even water.

The going was rough at first until, through a miracle, they discovered water, which transformed the land into a fertile land so that they could cultivate their own food and as time went on, they had a sizable farm from which food came to feed the growing number of children.

With God’s grace and hard work, they have transformed this dry patch land into a home where abandoned children can find a true home. Charles called it the Mully Children’s Family (MCF), and he is so happy to give these children, who call him and wife, dad and mom, a true home and loving family.

Today, the MCF has taken more than 23000 abandoned children off the streets and given them education and a future.

In Africa rife with startling inequalities, where a few have so much when millions have nothing, Charles Mully has shown that sharing with the poor is a way to make personal wealth more effective. Just as he built a great business starting with one taxi, he has built a great family starting with one child at a time, a family of every race and color. His efforts have spawned MCF vocational schools and colleges right within the community.  While the boys learn technical skills, like carpentry, electronics and mechanic, the girls are equipped with catering, fashion and dress making. The brighter children go on to college and higher education and many have become medical doctors, engineers and lawyers.

He could have used his hard earned money to build fantastic houses. He could have deposited his money in the bank, earning generous interests. Rather, he chose to lead the way by his example so that others can follow his footsteps helping and stop attributing their misfortune to laziness.

Though Mully isn’t Catholic, he would understand well the teaching of the Church on the universal destination of good, that every person should regard the external things that they legitimately possesses not only as their own destined to benefit not only themselves and their family but also all others.

Feed the people dying of hunger, because if you do not feed them you are killing them,” above all by giving them aid which will enable them to help and develop themselves. (Gaudium et Spes 68)

It is true that not everyone can be as courageous and generous as Charles Mully, but like Mother Theresa of Calcutta said, if you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed one.

Chinwuba Iyizoba

Davido’s Mom

18 02 2019

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Davido gets it right with his mom, but wrong with women.

Davido at 02 Arena London

When Davido’s January 27, London concert sold out at the 02 Arena, with a crowd of more than 20000 people, the music maestro was so overjoyed that he credited the triumph to the help of his late mother.

Celebrating with guests, the next day, the 26 yrs old broke down in tears, and continued thanking his late mom comparing her to an angel, posting on instagram:

“Only angels can make such Dreams come true … Thank you mom for watching over your baby.”

His mom, Veronica Adeleke, died when he was 10. A woman of rare beauty and a music lover, she had owned a record label in the 90’s which she named after Davido, who must have inherited her love for music, and a sign of strong bond between mother and son that even death is unable to break.

Veronica Adeleke, Davido’s Mom

Much like Catholics understanding of devotion to Mother Mary, he believes that she is very much alive in heaven, helping him each step of the way.

In his mind, love for his mom pushes him to give his best.

Interestingly, this devotion to his mom, rather than offend anyone is in fact making him appear more humane, warm and attractive to his fans especially women, yet his relationship with other women leave much to be desired having fathered two daughters from two different women while in a public relationship with a third.

Considering that he has over 2 million followers on face-book and many more on Instagram, many of them young people, one can see that his loose lifestyle is having bad influence on public morals.

As a role model, he is teaching his young fans to behave like cows, next he will teach them to be content to go the way of goats. He is sending the wrong message to young people to act like miserably beasts who dont know how to control their passions.

Davido whose music career took off with his 2011 hit single “Dami Duro” and gained him a huge student fan base should remember that his mom, apart from her love for music, was a teacher, a university lecturer, who loved academics and taught her students well, and desired that her students do well in their studies.

Davido’s Fans

Without a doubt, she would desired that his music and songs helped his young fans achieve academic excellence, by being a little less salacious, and more focused on themes that encourages learning, extolling the virtues of hard work and family.

Thus it is meet and proper for him to recognize his moms help, but it’s even better for him emulate her love for family, marriage and try to emulate it.

Davido’s Father (Middle) with daughters by his side and his son Davido standing behind with his elder brother.

Moreover, he enjoyed and continues to enjoy the dignity and prestige of being born in a family. His mom met his father Adedeji Adeleke in the 80’s; they fell in love, got married and had four children. Where his parents not properly married, perhaps he would not be who he is today.

Why then would he deny his own children that same dignity? It is unfortunate, unfair and rather irresponsible.

Davido with one of his daughters fathered out of wedlock

One could argue that wealth and popularity has gotten into his head, but his father was a very rich man, and popular, yet there aren’t evidence that his money or fame influenced him to lead a reprobate life, having, and children with other women apart from his mother.

Without a doubt, his parents good example of lifelong love, marriage and great family atmosphere has contributed in no small measures to his own success; his children has a right to expect same from him and would be a dereliction of duty if he fails to do so. In fact one could even say that he is setting his daughters up for failure since studies show that children from stable homes do way better than one from broken homes.

His mother, like all mothers know a great deal about love. Through marriage, God opened a fruitful channel for her love to share in the power God on free and responsible transmitting of life, rather than the wickedly undermining God’s plan because selfish human pleasures.

I am sure, Davido’s mom watching over him so motherly, wanting the best for him, would wish him to stop sowing his wild oats around, settle down, get married and treat his wife and children with more respect. She would wish to tell him that running around and fathering children shamelessly with different women isn’t a very good way to pay her back for all the toil and hard work in bringing him and his 3 siblings up and that he must stop taking advantage of women if he truly loves her.

Buffy & Jennifer sets Ihube ablaze :Igbankwu 22 Dec 2017

24 12 2017


Why we hurt our kids when we don’t want them to struggle like we did 

19 09 2017

A man, an avid Gardener saw a small Butterfly laying few eggs in one of the pots in his garden.
Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness.

The egg started to move and shake a little.

He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes.

He spent hours watching the egg now. 

The egg started to expand and develop cracks.

A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly. 

The man’s excitement knew no bounds.

He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out.

He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn’t resist his urge to “HELP”.

He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here, a nip there to help the struggling life and the pupa was out. 

The man was ecstatic!

He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly, but alas that never happened.

The larvae pupa had a oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died!

Depressed the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason. 

His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it thru its 4 week life cycle. 

In his eagerness to help, the man destroyed a beautiful life!

Struggles help all of us, that’s why a bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life’s difficulties!

As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life’s harsh realities and disappointments.

We don’t want our kids to struggle like we did.

Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and 

with challenges.
We’re sending our kids the message that they’re not capable of helping themselves.
To quote clinical psychologist,

Dr. Wendy ‘s Moral:

“It  is  Our Job  to  prepare  Our  Children  for  the  Road & Not  prepare  the  Road for  Our Children”

Acid attack victim woman to kill herself but meets Pope Francis 

12 09 2017


For Consuela Cordoba, life had no meaning anymore. Hit by the depth of human wickedness, she had lost faith in humanity and wanted out. She was going to kill herself and had set a date with death and an appointment with a doctor who will kill her (Euthanasia is legal in Columbia)

Once a pretty woman, with chocolate colored skin and gleaming white teeth accentuated her dimpled smile. All that changed in 2000 when her ex-boyfriend poured acid all over her. He was arrested and spent just one month in jail, but for Consuela, nothing would ever be the same again.

She will spend not one month, but the rest of her life breathing through straws tubes sticking out from what was once her pretty nose. Her face or what remains of it must be covered at all time with skin mask or it would desiccate on contact with sunlight. Her life was over. 

After countless surgeries, she finally succumbed to despair. Wickedness has triumphed and evil has had his way with her. There was nothing. She would help her ex-boyfriend finish what he started so that his complete and utter triumph over her would be final. She will end her life and that was that. She paid the required fees to the death doctor and a date was fixed. 

But just before the date arrived, Pope Francis visited Columbia and met with her. 

She was one of the crowds but Pope Francis spotted her and asked them to bring her to speak with him. 

When she stood before him,  she made a simple request, ‘Papa, give me permission to end my life for I am tired of this world”

Pope Francis crushed her into his arms and looked deep into her eyes and said, ‘No”

“Why,” she asked him, weeping and shaking from the magnitude of love she be-held in his eyes

“Because you are very beautiful and I love you”.
That was it.

That moment was all it took.  She changed her mind. 

“I will never kill myself,” she swore to herself.

 Rather, she will live on, determined to be a witness and an inspiration for millions of other people, victims of wickedness. She will give hope to the raped, to those suffering violations of any kind. She will turn the great evil done to her into something good. In her suffering she will share in the sufferings of abandoned children, of mutilated girls and of starving the world over. She will offer her pain in expiation for the crimes of war and injustice throughout the world. In-short her agony will pay the ransom for girls kidnapped and sold into prostitution and slavery in Europe and all over the globe. Her beauty so cruelly and brutally erased she will accept, in exchange and in atonement for those beautiful women who misuse their beauty in pornographic ways to ravage the hearts of men lead and lead them into sin and addiction ruining their families. For every ounce of diabolical hatred with which her ex-boyfriend poured acid on her, she would pour out all her love for every creature for the rest of her life.

​The world is lying to us and to our children,  says Dr. Hahn

3 09 2017

“Just recently I was listening to this expert therapist on radio,  Dr. Ruth telling a 15yrs old boy who had called in to tell her that he was having sex with his 14 yrs old girlfriend and all she could ask him was, ‘is it safe sex? ‘” 
” I felt like shouting,’ Woman,  tell him to save sex for marriage!!'”

“When he told her that he was using some kind of contraception and she crackled , ” Oh that is so good ‘” 

 “I was like, ‘Woman,  he is a 15yrs old fornicating with a 14 yrs old.” 

“When I was 15,” continued Dr Hahn, “Canbery soup was  good,  not fornication!”   

“When he told her, he was using contraception,  she said that was great!”

” No it’s not, “said Dr. Hahn,  “When I was 14, flakes were great,  not contracepted fornication.” 

“Our kids are being lied to.  Sex isn’t good,  it’s not even great.  IT IS SACRED.” 

With these and many more stories,  Dr. Scott Hahn inspires  us  on how to  build  successful families. 

 “World Congress of Families, 2015”

10 Lessons on How  to Save  Your Family 

1 09 2017

Opening our eyes, we can see that the family in serious crisis. This being the case, as followers of Christ and defenders of the Domestic Church—the family—let us launch a concerted effort to save our children, save our young, by the means of saving our families. Pessimism, cynicism, and skepticism must not reign in our hearts, but rather confidence and hope that we can help construct a better world by striving for better, more holy families.

Therefore, we would like to offer Ten Vitamins to Vitalize Families. By this we mean to offer ten concrete suggestions to help all of us purify, improve, and perfect our families. Saint Pope John Paul II expressed this truth so clearly: The family is the basic building block of society… and… As the family goes, so goes the society. Hopefully these suggestions will truly make a difference in your struggle to form a good family. Never forget the consoling words of the Archangel Gabriel to Mary that we read in the Annunciation: Nothing is impossible with God.

1. Family Prayer

One of the primary reasons for fights, quarrels, bitterness, coldness, and eventually separations is the lack of prayer in the family. What oxygen is to the lungs, so prayer is to the soul. Prayer should be at the very center and heart of family life. Remember the words of the famous Rosary-priest, Father Patrick Peyton: The family that prays together, stays together.

2. The Father as Head of the Family

When possible, the Father must be the head of the family; the Mother should be the very heart of the family. A family without a head is a Frankenstein; a family without a heart is dead. May the Father assume the role of Spiritual Leader of the family! If you like, the Father should be the priest of the family. This means, the Father should say Yes to life. The Father should love his wife and children. The Father should be the spiritual leader of the family and this means the leader in the prayer life of his family. The most splendid example for the Father should be the best of Fathers, good Saint Joseph!

3. Forgiveness and Mercy

In many families coldness, indifference, and even bitterness permeate the entire family fabric. Why? One of the reasons is due to a lack of forgiveness. Family members must be merciful and forgive, and not just seven times, but seventy times seven times—meaning always! If we want to be forgiven, then we must forgive from our hearts. The Our Father commands this: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

4. Winning and Victorious Words
The British poet, Alexander Pope penned these words: “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Family members, cultivating true humility of heart, must learn to say these words: “I am sorry…” and equally important: “I forgive you!” These words said often and with humility of heart can save families!

5. Servant Attitude

Jesus, Son of the living God, washed the feet of the Apostles at the Last Supper. He Himself stated: “The Son of man has not come to be served, but to serve and give His life in ransom for many.” (Mt 20:28) Each and every individual family member must not look to be served, but to be always ready to serve the other members in the family. Love and service are really synonymous.

6. Express Graditude

Even though it is small, and at times, seems to be almost insignificant, these two words can add a condiment to the family recipe, and these two words are Thank you! Saint Ignatius of Loyola asserted: “ The essence of sin is ingratitude.” Cultivate in your families an attitude of gratitude! In sum, what do we have that we have not received from God? Only one thing: our sins—these we chose for ourselves. God loves a humble and grateful heart!
7. Take a Break From Gadgets

A key time in family life must be the meal time. Normally it is when the family connects, comes together to share experiences, to spend time with each other, to bond with each other, in a word, to grow in love with each other. Our Lord’s Last Commandment was: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn 13:34)
There is a comic strip with a family all sitting together on the same big couch. The Father is watching TV, the mother is on her tablet, the son is playing a computer game on his laptop, the teenage daughter is sending a text from her phone, and the family dog has earphones on. We laugh at this, but we also weep, because we can see our own family in this comic strip. Therefore remember, at meal times—even though it might be a mere 20-25 minutes—no phones, tablet, computer, radio nor TV. Each person has infinite value, and their soul being immortal will live forever; the computer screen and all other electronic gadgets will come and go and be disposed of!
8. Learn to Listen

How hard the art of listening really is, especially with family members. We all tend to be in the fast-lane, frenetically rushing from one activity to the next like a chicken with it’s head cut off. As such we fail to listen attentively when a family member wants to talk to us. I invite all to seek out Harry Chapin’s song Cats in the Cradle. In short, this song woefully mourns the sad fact that Fathers never really connect with their children because they are simply too busy! Son, I will listen to you, but later… Later never becomes a reality; then it is beyond his grasp!

9. Celebration

The famous Catholic author Jean Vanier, who founded a group working most especially with the handicapped, and with forming families with handicapped members, made this discovery: families are called to celebrate!

Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays such as Christmas and Easter, and many more—all are festive and exuberant moments of celebration in the context of the family. We should celebrate the other in the family —especially their birthday, Baptism, and saint day! Therefore, if you want to inject a good dose of joy in your family, get in the habit of celebrating! Saint Paul exhorts us in these words: “Rejoice in the Lord always; I say it again: Rejoice in the Lord.” (Phil. 4:4)
10. Marian Consecration

In my retreats, I have often presented an efficacious means to arrive at the very Heart of Jesus. This is done by spending about a month meditating upon the 20 mysteries of the Rosary, with a helpful commentary for each, followed by a meditation on the Seven Sorrows of Mary, each with a commentary. At the end of these days of preparation for consecration, all the members of the family will formally consecrate themselves, individually and as a family, to Jesus through Mary. Our Lady will then be at the very heart of their family. Our Lady will produce abundant fruits in their family: peace, joy, love, happiness, sharing, understanding, patience, purity, meekness, kindness. In a word, by consecration to Jesus through Mary, families will become sanctuaries of true holiness as Jesus commanded: Be holy, as your heavenly Father is holy. (Mt 5:48)

You can lead your family in such a retreat with my guide, Total Consecration Through the Mysteries of the Rosary.

I am convinced that if families truly allow Mary to take root in the center of their lives, she will help their lives be turned from water into wine, and will truly be able to live out the greatest commandment of Jesus: Love one another as I have loved you! (Jn 13:34) I hope and pray that all will take these Ten Vitamins to Vitalize and form vibrant and holy families!

by Fr. Ed Broom, catholicexchange.com August 29, 2017

How I  Empower  my Wife for effective control of my Home by Stan Ekezie

22 06 2017

In order to show my kids who is in charge, I have had to overrule my wife’s decision a few times on almost every aspect of our family life, not in a malicious way though. Just enough to show the kids that I am in charge and my consent or refusal on any issue is final. 

Even when she says no, the kids will file an appeal with me, I will tell my wife to let them go, and even when she disagrees with me, she will still consent, telling them that if your dad says it’s ok, she can’t say otherwise. She always tried to maintain the hierarchy of leadership so the kids can see and learn. Kudos to her. 
One day, I overheard the kids plotting to go to the cinema. 

The youngest one told them to tell mummy  first. 
“I know she will say no, then we can ask daddy and tell him mummy said no. He will most certainly always say yes and then mummy must obey;  she won’t have a choice.”
I was flabbergasted! She was just 11 years old at the time.  It suddenly dawned on me that I had been played, beaten hands down by my own kids. So when they came to ask my permission, I told them it was up to their mum and whatever she says is final, I can’t do anything about it. The look of shock on their faces was priceless. 
From then on, I became the parent who didn’t have absolute powers anymore, we became a team, she did the vetting because she is more thorough and hands-on, she knew each of them more deeply than I did, it was harder to play her. Once she has vetted, she will recommend approval or disapproval and I will act accordingly issuing the final approval or rejecting the appeal. All the things they used to get away with when I was solely in charge became more difficult or impossible. 
The moral of the story is simple, empower your wife for effective control of your home, we are too busy battling to make a living, we can’t multitask, however women were created with the capacity to multitask, they can be successful at work and at home. An empowered woman will be respected by your children thus making it easy for her to teach and mentor them. 

The kids will pick up the slightest signs of disrespect and subjugation of your wife and build on it, this may make it more difficult for her to properly groom them in your mostly unavoidable absences from home. We should always ensure that our wives are not ridiculed or subdued before the children, a wife should be seen as a strong and indispensable component of the family unit. 

The kids must see and know that we love and respect their mother and will support all her decisions. They must know that the house is hers, and that getting favours from daddy is dependent on mummy’s approval. Total authority should rest on her especially if she is a homely and virtuous mother. She knows the kids better than you, she shares a special bond with them and will punish them without emotions when they do something wrong. Ensure that the kids especially your daughters see her as the final say in almost all their affairs,  her decisions concerning them whether we like it or not will always tow the line of reason. Most daughters won’t like their mum until they become adults, because she loves them and punishes them with the same amount of passion when they err.

I believe intelligent and powerful women make better wives and most especially mothers. I’d rather have a well accomplished woman mentor my kids than a subdued and voiceless woman, the later can only transfer her bitterness and frustration to the kids. A powerful and accomplished woman boosts her daughters’ confidence and gives them a befitting role model.

The War on Children: CSE exposed,  explioting children! 

6 04 2017

​This video is worth 20 min of your time. 

Comprehensive sex education (CSE) is an aggressive attack on children’s  minds. We should join hands and STOP it. 



Facebook Founder Meets Pope Francis

29 08 2016

Facebook Founder meet with Pope Francis.jpg

In the latest in a series of meetings with tech industry heavyweights this year, Pope Francis today received in private audience Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook.

In a statement, Holy See Press Office director Greg Burke said the Pope this morning met Zuckerberg along with his wife, Prescilla Chan.

Together they spoke about how to use communications technology to alleviate poverty, encourage a culture of encounter, and to communicate a message of hope, especially to the most disadvantaged,” the statement read.

Although praised for bringing many people together and reconnecting friends, over the years Facebook has come under criticism for allowing blasphemous anti-Catholic pages, and more recently for censoring some politically conservative posts on the site.

But Zuckerberg himself appears to be a fan of Pope Francis, posting in March this year amessage congratulating the Holy Father for opening an Instagram account. Facebook bought the on-line image sharing site in 2012.

“Welcome to Instagram, Pope Francis!,” Zuckerberg wrote. “No matter what faith you practice, we can all be inspired by Pope Francis’s humility and compassion. I’m looking forward to following the Pope — and watching him continue sharing his message of mercy, equality and justice with the world.”

Zuckerberg is just the latest tech industry leader to meet the Pope. In separate meetings in January this year, Francis received Apple’s CEO Tim Cooke and Google’s former CEO, Eric Schmidt, at the Vatican.

A Vatican source told the Register at the time that the visits were not related to any particular collaborative communications projects with the Church but simply that both were attending the World Economic Forum in Davos and so it was convenient for them to call in.

Zuckerberg is in Italy to attend the wedding yesterday of Daniel Ek, founder of Spotify, at Lake Como.

The prefect of the Secretariat for Communications, Msgr. Dario Edoardo Viganò, has been in talks with Facebook for quite some time.

Article courtesy of ncregister.com

Colorado Spring: Planned Parenthood’s Abortion Myth vs Reality

1 12 2015

Mother hood



®®     There are a number of myths about abortion that are held by most members of the public, common knowledge that “everyone knows” ― and which is completely wrong.  The reason that so many people are misinformed about abortion, and the reason that many people support it, is because of the actions of what we call the “mainstream media” ― the television news, the print media in the form of newspapers and magazines, and to a lesser degree the entertainment media embodied by people we call “celebrities.”

There are many glaring examples of unequal media treatment of both “sides” of the abortion debate.  When Todd Akin made his clumsy comment on “legitimate rape” and abortion during the 2012 elections, ABC, CBS and NBC ran 96 major stories focusing on the comment, and treated it as a major scandal.  But the media has almost completely ignored abortionist Kermit Gosnell’s “house of horrors” abortion mill in Philadelphia, where he killed dozens of newborn babies by severing their spinal columns, killed an abortion patient, and made millions of dollars peddling pills on the black market.

The only people in the world who do not think that the news media is aggressively pro-abortion are ― the people who work in the media.

The problem with the news media is twofold:  (1) Its members mindlessly repeat whatever pro-abortionists and population controllers tell them, and (2) Its members deliberately and consciously hide scientific facts that support pro-life beliefs.

®     The media is not biased, which means that its members unconsciously inject their personal opinions into their reporting.  Its members are corrupt, which means that reporters know they are slanting the news, and they uncritically repeat everything the pro-abortionists say and, in fact, actively suppress opposing viewpoints.  In short, the media is an integral part of the pro-abortion movement, and its part of the overall strategy is to hide anything that would make abortion look bad and highlight ― or even manufacture ― stories that make pro-lifers look bad.

®     Even pro-abortionists recognize ― and welcome ― this corruption.  Susanne Millsaps of NARAL Pro-Choice America said way back in 1991 that “The media has been our best friend in this fight.  They claim objectivity, but I know they’re all pro-choice.”  And Boston Globe legal reporter Ethan Bronner wrote that “I think that when abortion opponents complain about a bias in newsrooms against their cause, they’re absolutely right. … Opposing abortion, in the eyes of most journalists … is not a legitimate, civilized position in our society.”

In the intervening decades, of course, the situation has gotten much worse.  The media usually completely ignores hundreds of thousands of pro-lifers at the annual National March for Life, while writing long stories on a handful of pro-abortionists on the Supreme Court steps; it constantly talks about pro-life violence while ignoring much greater pro-abortion violence; and it pushes its agenda relentlessly, from amnesty for illegal aliens to the “gay” rights agenda.

One of the worst examples of this corruption is its handling of abortion-related violence.  For example, when Scott Roeder walked into the Lutheran church where late‑term abortionist George Tiller was serving as an usher and shot him dead in 2009, the media wrote thousands of stories on the murder, portraying Tiller as a saint and the entire pro-life movement as a bunch of far-right, Bible-beating wingnuts.  A few months later, when pro-abortionist Harlan Drake murdered pro-life activist Jim Pouillon, the first thing the media did was dig into Pouillon’s background and list every time he had ever had a brush with the law, right down to two parking tickets.  They went so far as to seek out his family members in attempts to dig up dirt on him.

This bias and dishonesty of the media is almost universal, but there are a number of primary points that media people use to promote and excuse abortion and population control activities.

After decades of this barrage of misinformation and outright lies, most people accept the primary media deceptions about abortion without question.  If you learn how to refute them, you will be a powerful advocate for human life.

These media myths are as follows:


®  Media Myth #1:  “The world is overpopulated, so we must have abortion and birth control.”

Whenever population control people or organizations use statistics to justify their claims regarding world overpopulation, their numbers are almost always either exaggerations or outright lies.

®       Their most common allegation is that “88 million people are added to the world’s population each year.”  According to the United Nations Population Information Network (POPIN), the annual world population increase peaked at about 88.8 million during the time period 1985‑1990.  It will increase by about 64.2 million in 2013.  The world population rate of increase will continue to decline steeply until world population peaks at about 8.1 billion and then begins to decline in about the year 2045.  In fact, from the current 7.1 billion, the world’s population is projected to decline to about 6.2 billion by the end of this century.

In other words, the “population explosion” is over.

The second allegation is that “The population of the world doubles every 37 years.”  Pro-abortionists and population controllers hope to frighten people into thinking that the current world population of about 7.1 billion will double to 14.2 billion by about the year 2050, double again to 28 billion by about the year 2087, and so on.  But according to United Nations projections, the population of the world will never again double, as we have already seen!

®       The Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) committed perhaps the ultimate in alarmist propaganda when it distributed a one‑foot square of paper in the early 1980s that proclaimed on its borders that “If present birth rates continue, there will be one human being standing on every square foot of land on earth.  Here’s a square foot.  Try it.  Stand on it.  Then take a stand for Planned Parenthood!”  So what Planned Parenthood was alleging is that there will eventually be 1.6 quadrillion people on this earth, or 223,000 people for every single person on the Earth today.

®       Even alleged geniuses have gotten caught up in the hysteria.  One example is Stephen Hawking, who said that “By the year 2600 the world population will be standing shoulder to shoulder and electricity consumption will make the Earth glow red hot.”

Propaganda aside ― the world has 236 nations with a 2013 population of about 7.1 billion, for an average of 51 people per square kilometer of land.

Eighty of these countries protect their preborn citizens completely or allow only strictly-monitored exceptions such as “life of the mother,” rape, incest and eugenics. However, these countries have only about 30 percent of the world’s population.  112 of the world’s nations offer little or no legal protection to their preborn citizens. Their laws allow either abortion on demand or the physical and mental “health of the mother” exceptions, which, in practice, means abortion on demand.  The countries that offer little or no protection to preborn babies are home to about 70 percent of the world’s people and two of these countries (India and the People’s Republic of China) have 37 percent of the world’s population.

There are currently about 43 million surgical abortions being committed in the world each year. This appalling number steadily increased to a high of about 55 million since 1960, when there were about 40 million surgical abortions worldwide, then began to decrease.  This means that, during the period 1960-2013, inclusive, surgical abortionists have killed about 2.5 billion babies ― a number equal to more than one-third of the world’s entire living population.

Abortion laws have a profound effect on the total fertility rates (TFRs) and population growth rates of nations.  Nations with abortion on demand have a much lower TFR than those that protect their preborn citizens (2.1 children per “completed family” vs. 3.9), and have suffered much steeper declines in TFR since 1965.
Also, nations that provide little or no protection for their preborn citizens have less than half the population growth rate that nations that protect them do (0.84% vs. 1.59%).

The world’s TFR has plunged from 5.0 to a current figure of exactly replacement (2.2), and is projected to continue dropping to 1.5 or less by the year 2050.

®       The world’s population growth rate peaked at 2.04% per year in 1965 and is now (2013) growing at about 0.9% per year.  It will stop growing by the year 2045, with a peak population of about 8.1 billion, and then will begin to rapidly shrink, just as is now happening in Europe.

Population controllers tend to visit huge population centers in developing nations and then tell everyone who will listen that the world is crammed with people.  This is like visiting a beehive and then telling everyone that the world is full of bees.

To show how few people there are in the world, the entire population of 7.1 billion could each have 1,100 square feet if everyone lived in;


®  The State of Texas;

®  Chile;

®  France;

®  Zambia;

®  Myanmar (formerly Burma);

®  New South Wales, a state in Australia;

®  Quighai Province in China; or

®  Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh States in India.


®    Back in the 1950s, the average woman in the world had five children.  Then the population control movement began its deadly work.  Currently, the world’s total fertility rate ― the number of children each woman has ― is just over the replacement of 2.1.  Within a decade, it will drop below replacement and, by the end of the century, the United Nations predicts that not a single nation on Earth will be replacing its population.

®       All of this means that the population bomb may have landed, but it didn’t explode.  In fact, underpopulation will be the greatest problem faced by the world in the second half of this century.

Another motivation of population controllers is a desire to preserve the environment, which is a good thing if not taken to ridiculous extremes.

®       Newsweek Flip-Flops.  Those who have been socially active and aware for a long time remember the 1970s, when scientists were unanimous in proclaiming that we were on the verge of a new 10,000 year ice age.  In 1975, Newsweek Magazine said that “The central fact is that the earth’s climate seems to be cooling down.  Meteorologists are almost unanimous in the view that the trend will reduce agricultural productivity.“

Then, as now, political correctness reigned.  Anyone who questioned the “global cooling” dogma was shouted down and ridiculed.

Only seventeen years after Newsweek proclaimed the advent of a new Ice Age, it reversed itself completely and said in 1992 that “The atmosphere may be reaching the limit of its capacity to absorb emitted carbon dioxide without falling into a disastrous greenhouse effect.”  Once again, those who do not accept this article of faith are attacked and mocked.

®       Examples of Frightening Warnings.  The mainstream media was just as apocalyptic in 1975 as they are now, though they have completely flip-flopped on climate change.

  • The New York Times warned us that “A major cooling of the planet is widely considered inevitable.”
  • The [London] Times worried that “This cooling trend could result in a return to another ice age.”
  • Science News told us that “We are going to have a full-blown 10,000-year ice age involving extensive Northern Hemisphere glaciation.”
  • And International Wildlife fretted that “A new ice age must now stand alongside nuclear war as a likely source of wholesale death and misery.”

In other words, folks, make sure to take skis along for that honeymoon in the Caribbean.

Only a Part of the Truth.  It is said that the blackest of lies is when someone tells you the truth, but only that part of the truth that they want you to hear.       Certainly this is the case with the global warming debate, as it is with other social issues that the corrupted mainstream media tampers with.

®       It is certainly true that the world’s climate is warming up.  Since 1910, the world’s temperature has warmed up by about 0.9 degrees Centigrade, or about 1.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

What they deliberately do not tell you is that this is part of a long-term cycle going back at least 4,500 years, as determined by ice core drilling near the poles.

®       The average Earth temperature is cyclical, and we have experienced at least five warm spells and four cold spells since 2500 B.C.  The “Little Ice Age” was at its most intense in about 1625, with an average global temperature of 56.3 degrees Fahrenheit, and has been steadily warming ever since.  According to the pattern, the temperature will soon peak and then drop again.

The primary engine of global warming is the incidence of volcanoes, not the activities of man.  The more volcanoes there are, the more dust there is in the air, and the greater reflectivity of the atmosphere.  In fact, it was warmer in 1100 BC, the time of the Hebrew Exodus from Egypt, than it is now.  And I think that we can safely say that the Hebrews did not drive a whole lot of gas-guzzling SUVs when they escaped Pharoah’s clutches.

®       So what is going to happen in the near future regarding global warming?

Nobody really knows.

®®       But if there is a cause of global warming we can pinpoint, it is this:  The hot air put out by the global warming activists.


® Media Myth #2:  “70,000 women die each year from unsafe abortion worldwide.”

®       To begin with, we must consider the inflexible equations used by the population controllers.  They think that every legal abortion is safe, and that every illegal abortion is unsafe.  We know this, because as soon as the huge population control cartel legalizes abortion in a developing nation, they are content.  They do not attempt to insure that legalized abortion is safe; they do not monitor or train the new abortionists; they just cross it off their list of nations that have so-called “unsafe” abortions.

The primary numbers alleged by the Guttmacher Institute in the USA are as follows.  Every pro-abortion and population group repeats them, as does the media;

  • there are 21.9 million “safe” abortions and 19.7 million “unsafe” abortions; and
  • there are 70,000 abortion deaths a year with 8 million complications, almost all due to “unsafe” abortions.

Population controllers think that “illegal = unsafe” and that “legal = safe” regarding abortion.  But how can this be, when the same people who perform abortions before it is legalized perform them after it is legalized?

®       When abortion is legalized, more women die, and not only from physical complications of abortion.  For example, in the USA, about 65 deaths were reported the year before abortion was legalized.  Now, about a dozen women die of abortion (that we know of), but at least fifty women are murdered each year by their husbands or boyfriends because they refuse to have abortions (see http://www.abortionviolence.org), a Human Life International Web site.       Pro-abortionists do not have science on their side, so they use an emotional appeal, claiming that thousands of poor, suffering women are dying in filthy back-alley abortion mills every year.  They always grossly inflate the number of deaths when pushing for abortion legalization, as shown in just a few examples below;

®Country   Claimed Deaths  Actual Deaths   Exaggeration


Russia        600,000         1,800         333 times

India         600,000         1,800         333 times

Brazil        400,000           241       1,660 times

Mexico        140,000           159         881 times

Africa         74,000           150         493 times

Italy          20,000            55         365 times

Germany        15,000           100         150 times

USA            10,000            65         250 times

Portugal        2,000            12         167 times

World       1,000,000         2,640         379 times

®       In the United States, for example, a July 7, 1989 USA Today staff editorial alleged that “Before Roe v. Wade, hundreds of thousands of women had illegal abortions [annually], and one in 10 of them died.” Since the number commonly alleged by pro-abortionists was two million illegal abortions annually, this would mean 200,000 deaths per year.

®       Of course, USA Today was lying.  According to official government figures, as far back as 1947, there were 593 abortion deaths in the United States.  The year before Roe v. Wade, there were 65.

®       Reformed abortionist Bernard Nathanson said that “How many deaths were we talking about when abortion was illegal?  In NARAL, it was always `5,000 to 10,000 deaths a year.’  I confess that I knew the figures were totally false, and I suppose the others did too if they stopped to think of it.  But it was a useful figure, widely accepted, so why go out of our way to correct it with honest statistics?  The overriding concern was to get the [abortion] laws eliminated …”

®       In a nation where abortion is illegal, if a pro-abortion person alleges that there are many women dying of illegal abortions, their numbers are always created out of thin air.  Always demand to see their documentation, and do not be deterred by vague claims that their numbers are based on “hospital statistics” or estimates based on “international statistics.”  Demand to see the actual documents.

Often pro-abortionists will allege that they know women who have died of illegal abortions.  For example, back in 1985, NARAL decided to hold a contest called the “Silent No More” Campaign.  They hoped to gather tens of thousands of lurid stories of women who had had illegal abortions, whose mothers, sisters, daughters and aunts had died horribly at the hands of drunken butchers before abortion was legalized.  NARAL planned to publicize these letters aggressively in order to influence public opinion on abortion.

NARAL advertised widely among its 200,000 members and the public, asking for letters detailing experiences with illegal abortions.  NARAL proudly claimed that it received “Tens of thousands of letters” ― but, mysteriously, only 68 were submitted to the Congressional Record for publication on May 22nd, 1985, and even these were of truly wretched, even laughably horrible, quality.

For example, one rambling letter in the Record claimed that “Thirty‑five years ago I was pregnant ― my baby had died in 4th month of pregnancy but because of abortion being illegal I couldn’t have an abortion ― I had to carry that dead child for 5 months before I finally aborted it myself.  I carried that child for 5 agonizing months knowing I was carrying a dead child ― please legalize abortion ― it must be pro choice.”

Anyone knowledgeable in even the basics of fetal development or obstetrics will realize that the situation described in the above letter is, at best, dubious from both the medical and legal standpoints.

It was revealing to note that most of NARAL’s letters were written not by women who were in truly desperate circumstances, but by women who wanted abortion to remain legal for purely convenience reasons.

NARAL and other pro‑abortion groups sponsored scores of public “readings” all over the country, where women would stand and read their letters of victimization before crowds of weeping sympathizers.  All of these letters were similar in one critical respect:  The `victim of illegal abortion’ was invariably anonymous.  When pro‑life activists in several cities asked questions about the persons in the letters, they were met with shouts accusing them of “insensitivity!”

Perhaps the most spectacular story regarding a `victim’ of illegal abortion was provided Frank Mendiola, a Los Angeles homosexual and pro‑abortion activist.  NARAL used his extremely graphic “Silent No More” story as the centerpiece of one of its national fundraising letters.  This undated appeal listed “Frank, who wept as he told of his beloved twin sister, who bled to death from an illegal abortion after being brutally raped at the age of 14.”

Mendiola was very much in demand at pro‑abortion rallies.  He would read his `open letter’ to President Reagan describing how his twin sister `Rose Elizabeth’ died from a botched illegal abortion.  Mendiola sobbed about how “She bled to death on a kitchen table.  Yes, Mr. President, on a kitchen table.”

It was not long before Mendiola’s story began to come apart at the seams under the glare of publicity surrounding a related matter.  According to the December 10, 1987 issue of the Los Angeles Times, Mendiola called in numerous bomb threats to abortion clinics, abortionists, and even his own home so that “… you people, the media, will come down with a harder line on those people who are harassing the clinics.”

Further investigation into Mendiola’s background revealed that he had been lying about his `twin sister’ dying on a kitchen table, because he had no twin sister ― in fact, he was an only child!

®       In other countries the situation is even worse, a raw appeal to emotion backed up by figures that are simply pulled out of the air.  We like to say that “How can you tell when a population controller is lying?  You watch his lips.  When his lips are moving, he’s lying.”

The medical profession in general considers abortionists to be a necessary evil, and so they tend to be incompetents, drunks, drug addicts, and violent, often failing in other branches of medicine.  Some of the hundreds of examples;

  • Abortionist John Baxter Hamilton, who had a Valentine’s Day gift for his wife: A cinderblock, which he used to bash her head in.  Local pro-abortionists not only blamed the murder on pro-lifers, but threatened the life of Baxter’s prosecutor dozens of times.
  • Abortionist Malachy DeHenre, who was a little more original in killing his wife.  He shot her, then put her body in her Mercedes and pushed her off a cliff.
  • Abortionist Alicia Ruiz Hanna, who had no medical training at all, killed a mother of four during a botched abortion, and then tried to stuff her body into the trunk of her car. Police tend to notice when they drive by and see something like this, and she was convicted of murder.
  • Abortionist John Biskind, who walked away and let an abortion client bleed to death.
  • Abortionist Bruce Steir, who did the same, and was vocally supported by the pro-abortionists.
  • Abortionist Brian Finkel sexually molested more than one hundred of his abortion clients while they were knocked out. Pro-abortion groups took his side, saying that every one of these women were lying.
  • Abortionist Alan Zarkin, who was so proud of his work he signed it, by carving his initials into women’s abdomens.


®       Just as an interesting comparison, the corrupt media seems to be transfixed by the eight “pro-life” murders that have been committed over the past two decades.

®       Now compare this to the more than three hundred “pro-choice” murders we know of, most of which are boyfriends killing their pregnant girlfriends because they refuse to have abortions.

®       Finally, add to this all of the fatal botched abortions committed by abortionists, and you can begin to see the relative degree of violence between the pro-life and “pro-choice” movements.

®       So if we add up the total fatalities since Roe v. Wade in 1973, we can see that the “pro-choice” movement has more than one hundred killings for every single one committed by so-called “pro-life” people.

And which do you hear about more?

®       In the United States, at least fifty women a  year are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands because they refuse to have abortions.

See documentation at Human Life International’s “Abortion Violence” Web site.


® Media Myth #3:  “Abortions are necessary for rape, incest, birth defects, and to save the life and health of the mother.”

In every nation of the world, pro-abortionists use these classic “hard cases” to agitate for abortion.  Once again, they are appealing to emotions, not scientific fact.

®       “Typical” abortion cases, according to the pro-abortionists, are;

  • The 44‑year-old mother of nine children with uterine cancer who will die if she has another child;
  • The 11‑year-old incest victim;
  • The older mother carrying a baby with anencephaly who will die shortly after birth anyway; and
  • The poor Black woman on welfare.

®       The truth is far different from what the pro-abortion propagandists tell us.  According to the Guttmacher Institute, which is a research group that was associated with Planned Parenthood for decades, these are the real reasons that women have abortions; 

  • “I can’t afford a baby now” (21%)
  • “I don’t want the responsibility” (21%)
  • “A baby would change my life” (16%)
  • “I have problems with my relationship” (12%)
  • “I’m not mature enough” (11%)
  • “I have enough children” (8%)
  • “I want to keep my pregnancy secret” (1%)
  • “My boyfriend/husband forced me” (1%)
  • “The baby is deformed” (3%)
  • “I was raped” (1%)
  • “Pregnancy threatens my life/health” (1%)

®       If we analyze the statistics provided by 1.29 million women reporting their abortions in six states, we find the following reasons for abortions;

Abortions for Rape and Incest ―                                        0.13%

Abortions for Birth Defects (eugenics) ―                          0.59%

Abortions for the Mother’s Physical Life or Health ―       1.03%

Abortions for the Mother’s Mental Health ―                     1.27%

Total “Hard Case” Abortions ―                                   3.01%

Total Abortions for Social Reasons ―                               96.99%


®       While pro-abortionists tell us that abortion must remain legal for the “hard cases,” they never tell us that the vast majority of abortions are done for social reasons ― to save the mother’s lifestyle, we might say.  Several abortionists have admitted this;

  • “Each and every pregnancy threatens a woman’s life. From a strict medical viewpoint, every pregnancy should be aborted” [abortionist Lise Fortier]
  • “A medically necessary abortion is any abortion a woman asks for” [abortionist Jane Hodgson]
  • “In my medical judgment, every pregnancy that is not wanted by the patient, I feel there is a medical indication to abort a pregnancy where it is not wanted. In good faith, I would recommend on a medical basis, you understand, that, and it would be 100% … I think they are all medically necessary … Occasionally we will advise these women to carry their pregnancy to term, but most of these are medically necessary because I am considering the woman’s physical, mental, emotional and social and welfare and family and environment and all that … I am concerned with the quality of life, not physical existence” [abortionist Jane Hodgson]

®       Even the United Nations World Health Organization uses this sloppy terminology to justify abortion on demand all over the world.  It says that “Health is … a state of complete physical, mental, and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

The pro-life arguments against even the “hard cases” are irrefutable;

  • Rape and Incest. These are the hardest of the “hard cases.”  But once again, pro-life people are consistent in advocating the right to life of all preborn babies.  We do not agitate for the death of the guilty rapist or molester; why then must the innocent baby die?

Imagine examining two newborn babies lying side by side ― one conceived within a loving marriage and one conceived as the result of a brutal rape or molestation ― and then ask which would be considered more human.  If these two babies were laid side by side, could anyone identify the one who was conceived by rape or incest?  Of course not!  Then why select one baby for extinction based solely upon the circumstances of his or her conception?  Additionally, as we have seen in the USA, abortion is the ideal cover-up for incest, because it destroys the evidence.

  • Birth Defects. Abortions for birth defects (eugenics) are simple discrimination, because such babies are aborted based solely on whether or not they are handicapped.  This implies that born people who are handicapped have less of a right to live than those who are not handicapped or are somehow less deserving.  This is happening all over the world, as handicapped newborns are now being killed and starved to death.
  • Life and Health of the Mother. As long ago as 1955, at a Planned Parenthood conference, the world’s leading experts agreed that there is no medical condition that can be improved by aborting a woman’s preborn child.  As far as health is concerned, the World Health Organization definition of “maternal health” is “A state of complete physical, mental, and social well being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”  This means that a “mother’s health” exception for abortion means abortion on demand.

There is one exception to this rule that everyone must be aware of, and it is covered under the principle of the “double effect.”  If a woman’s life is threatened by a condition such as an ectopic pregnancy, the physician may perform a tubectomy, removing both the tube and the unborn child.  The child will inevitably die, but this is not an abortion because the intent is not to kill the child but to save the life of the mother.  These are very specific conditions, and the principle of the “double effect” must not be abused.


®  Media Myth #4:  “It’s her body, so she can do with it as she pleases.”

®       Pro-life people agree that a woman does indeed have the right to control her own body.  However, nobody has the right to destroy another person’s body.  And a woman has already procreated when she conceived.  The only question that remains is whether or not she will kill another person.

Some will argue that the preborn child is inside the mother and is totally dependent upon her, and so can be disposed of.  But what is different about the newborn child, who is also totally dependent upon her?  Does this mean that we can kill newborn babies as well?

And what about astronauts in the International Space Station?  They are inside the space station and depend on it completely.  If they leave it without wearing a million-dollar space suit, they will die in seconds.  But nobody is crazy enough to suggest that astronauts are part of the space station.

®®       This media myth makes no sense from a scientific viewpoint.  If the baby were part of the woman’s body, it should be genetically identical to her, but it is not.  Also;

  • All mothers are obviously female. About half of their children are male.  How can a human being be both male and female?
  • The mother and baby frequently have different blood types.
  • The baby can be a different race from the mother.
  • When the preborn child anchors itself to the uterine wall at its early stage of life, there is a concerted attack by white blood cells to defeat it, and the child must defend itself. The mother’s immune system recognizes it as “non‑self.”  Therefore, it is not part of her body.
  • The baby can die without the mother dying. The mother can die without the baby dying (the baby can be rescued if he or she is viable.)
  • The baby initiates a process that culminates in its leaving the mother’s body. No other part of the body does this.


® Media Myth #5“We really don’t know when [human] life begins.”

®®       This is a contemptible and cowardly claim which really means:  “We don’t care when life begins!”  Generally, if anyone says that they don’t know when life begins, they are admitting that abortion might be taking life, but that they really don’t care one way or the other.  After all, if a moral person is uncertain of whether or not an action will take human life, he will refrain from taking that action.  In matters of public safety, we always err on the side of life!

As one example, say you are on a hunting trip and see bushes moving around in front of you.  “Pro-choice” reasoning would say “go ahead and shoot at it, because we really don’t know if there is a person behind that bush or not.”

Pro-abortionists who claim that the unborn child is not alive are being unscientific and are relying on superstitious hocus-pocus upon which to base their erroneous opinions.

®         The preborn child meets all of the scientific and legal conditions for life by the time he or she is only five weeks old ― beating heart, measurable brainwaves, consuming nutrition, excreting wastes, and so on.

®       Every embryology and fetology textbook states that life begins at fertilization.  Some examples;

  • “A zygote is the beginning of a new human being (i.e., an embryo)” [The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology (2003, 7th Edition), page 16:2].
  • “Development begins with fertilization, the process by which the male gamete, the sperm, and the female gamete, the oocyte, unite to give rise to a zygote” [Langman’s Medical Embryology (2006, 10th Edition), page 11].
  • “[The zygote], formed by the union of an oocyte and a sperm, is the beginning of a new human being” [Before We Are Born: Essentials of Embryology (2008, 3rd Edition), page 2].

®      Take any cell from a preborn baby ― eye cell, skin cell, liver cell, any cell at all ― and any microbiologist can tell you that it is both living and human by examining its chromosomes.

®     We like to say that “The unborn child is a living human being … because the embryology textbook tells me so!”  Anyone who denies this is just being unscientific.

®      Often pro-abortion people use the term “potential life” to describe the preborn child.  This is obviously a nonsense term concocted only to confuse the issue.  Every entity on the face of the earth, animate or inanimate, is either “alive” or “not alive.”  Bacteria, cattle, and people are alive.  Clouds, rocks, and corpses are not alive.  There is no “in‑between” term, because either an entity possesses the spark of life or it does not.

®       Those who maintain that the preborn child is not alive must prove this if they want to kill it.  But this is impossible, of course, so they ignore the question.


®  Media Myth #6:  “Third-trimester abortions are rare or nonexistent.”

®       During the 1995 battle over dilation and extraction, or D&X abortions (also called partial-birth abortions) in the United States Congress, pro-abortionists lied over and over again about the procedure.

First they lied by saying that all of these partial-birth abortions were necessary to complete a safe delivery.

Then they lied when they said that the unborn child always dies of anesthesia overdose before the partial-birth abortion.

Then they lied when they said that the unborn child does not feel pain during the partial-birth abortion procedure.

Finally, they lied when they claimed that these abortions are only done in the most extreme circumstances, such as fatal birth defects and to save the life of the mother.

®       For example, the National Abortion Federation, the trade union for abortion mills, claimed that “This particular procedure [D&X abortion] is used only in about 500 cases per year, generally after 20 weeks of pregnancy, and most often when there is a severe fetal anomaly or maternal health problem detected late in pregnancy.”

Remember that number:  500 per year.

Planned Parenthood chimed in with this gem:  “The procedure, dilation and extraction (D&X), is extremely rare and done only in cases when the woman’s life is in danger or in cases of extreme fetal abnormality.”

Remember that allegation too:  All partial-birth abortions are done to save the mother’s life or for fatal birth defects.

®       But the partial-birth abortionists themselves contradict the National Abortion Federation and Planned Parenthood, showing that they are lying;

  • Marvin Haskell, inventor of the partial-birth abortion, said that 80 percent of the procedures he performs are “purely elective.”
  • James McMahon says that the primary reason he does partial-birth abortions is for “depression.”
  • Even the National Abortion Federation said in an internal memo just two years before it lied before Congress that most partial‑birth abortions are performed for such reasons as “lack of money or health insurance, social‑psychological crises, lack of knowledge about human reproduction, etc.”
  • ® Third-trimester abortionist George Tiller said at the 1995 National Abortion Federation conference in New Orleans “We have some experience with late terminations; about 10,000 patients between 24 and 36 weeks and something like 800 fetal anomalies between 26 and 36 weeks in the past 5 years.”  This means that Tiller alone did 2,000 partial-birth abortions every single year, and only eight percent of them were for birth defects.

Remember the previous quote by the National Abortion Federation claiming that only 500 were done every year in the entire country?  I guess it’s true that a lie has to have a good memory.  The National Abortion Federation certainly does not.

®       All of this lying caused Ron Fitzsimmons, Executive Director of the National Coalition of Abortion Providers (NCAP), to complain “When you’re a doctor who does these abortions and the leaders of your movement appear before Congress and go on network news and say these procedures are done in only the most tragic of circumstances, how do you think it makes you feel?  You know they’re primarily done on healthy women and healthy fetuses, and it makes you feel like a dirty little abortionist with a dirty little secret.  I think we should tell them the truth, let them vote and move on.”

®       Once again, the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute kindly gives us the truth, backed up by statistics.  These are the reasons women have late-term abortions;

Woman misjudged gestation                 31%

Hard to arrange abortion                  27%

Afraid to tell parents or partner         14%

Took her time deciding                     9%

Waited for relationship change             4%

Someone pressured her to wait              2%

Something changed after pregnancy          1%

Didn’t know she could get late abortion    2%

Fetal anomaly                              1%

Other reasons                              9%


Remember that Planned Parenthood claimed that all partial-birth abortions are done for fatal birth defects or to save the life of the mother?  It turns out that the actual number is about one percent.

Pro-abortionists often dismiss pro-life concerns by saying that there are “only a few” third-trimester abortions.

It is true that only a small percentage of abortions are performed in the third trimester.  But the number of abortions that have been done is so huge that even one percent is a large number.

®       Since the first states legalized abortion in 1967, there have been 55,128,300 legal abortions done in the United States as of January 1, 2013.

This means that 5,518,700 abortions have been done in the second trimester and 581,600 in the third trimester.

®       And then, of course, we have what the “pro-choice” people like to call “fourth trimester” or “after birth” abortions.  Kermit Gosnell routinely delivered full-term babies in his Philadelphia abortion mill and then severed their spinal columns with scissors.  This was done with the full knowledge of the National Abortion Federation, which had inspected his clinic, and other pro-abortionists.

Not one major so-called “pro-choice” group has condemned Gosnell.  They are willing to say that he is the exception, not the rule, and that is as far as they will go.  In fact, they are blaming pro-lifers, as usual, for the deadly messes they make.


®  Media Myth #7:  “Most Americans are `pro-choice’.”

        This has been repeated by the corrupt media and by pro-abortion ad campaigns so many times that it has become what we call “common knowledge” ― everyone “knows” it is true, but really don’t know why it is true.

®       At first glance, it may seem that Americans are, indeed, “pro-choice.”  Almost every poll taken shows that Americans support Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that legalizes abortion.  But the media, which seems eager to dig deeper regarding every other topic, is notoriously slothful when it comes to abortion.  If the immediate, fleeting first impression agrees with their own pro-abortion worldview, corrupt and lazy reporters have no motivation to dig deeper.

If we think beyond the superficial level that reporters are stuck at, we find something very interesting:  Typically, polls represent Roe v. Wade as legalizing abortion in the first trimester only.

®       Typical wording in such a poll is the October 2007 Harris poll, which stated “In 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that state laws which made it illegal for a woman to have an abortion up to three months of pregnancy were unconstitutional, and that the decision on whether a woman should have an abortion up to three months of pregnancy should be left to the woman and her doctor to decide.  In general, do you favor or oppose this part of the U.S. Supreme Court decision making abortions up to three months of pregnancy legal?”

Notice the strong emphasis on the phrase “three months of pregnancy,” which is repeated three times in just one short paragraph, deliberately giving the impression that abortion is legal for just three months, instead of the reality, which is that it is legal through all nine months of pregnancy.

The result of this particular poll was 56 percent supported Roe v. Wade and 40 percent thought it should be overturned.

To get a better grasp of what Americans really think about abortion, we look to the Gallup trending opinion poll on the topic.

This poll asks exactly the same questions ― not one single word is changed ― about abortion year after year of a large number of people.  This means that we can get an accurate feel for the changing attitudes of Americans toward abortion.

®       The most revealing question of this poll is “With respect to the abortion issue, would you consider yourself to be pro-choice or pro-life?”

In 1995, only 33 percent of Americans described themselves as “pro-life,” and 56 percent described themselves as “pro-choice.”

But ever since 1995, pro-lifers have been gaining ground.  In fact, in 2012, exactly half of Americans described themselves as “pro-life” ― a huge gain of 17 percent, or exactly one percent per year.  Meanwhile, only 41 percent of Americans described themselves as “pro-choice,” a loss of nearly one percent a year and 15 percent less than in 1995.

This shows that pro-life efforts are having an effect.  The partial-birth abortion battle horrified Americans and had a huge influence.  But pro-lifers are also developing an alternative media that is reaching millions of people.  The nation’s 3,000 crisis pregnancy centers are educating two million young women a year about fetal development and about abortion alternatives.  And, of course, we have demographics.  Pro-life families simply have more children than pro-abortion families.

®      The Gallup Trending Poll on abortion shows that pro-lifers have made significant gains in 18 out of 19 categories over the time period 2001 to 2012 among men, women, all age groups, all levels of education, in all areas of the nation, and in all political parties.  The only category which is less pro-life is atheists ― and even then, there is a loss of only one point.

Pro-Life in;

Category         2001      2012    Gain


Men              52%       57%      5%

Women            51%       55%      4%

18-34            47%       54%      7%

College          43%       53%     10%

Christian        57%       62%      5%

Atheist          24%       23%     -1%

Independents     30%       47%     17%


As we saw before, “hard case” abortions make up only about three percent of all abortions done.  Not surprisingly, Americans support these abortions by various margins.  But they do not support abortions for social reasons.

®       Americans support abortions to save the life of the mother by an 83% to 13% margin.  But these abortions only make up about 1 out of 600 of all abortions.  They support abortions to preserve the woman’s health by a margin of 82% to 15%.  But these abortions only make up about 1 out of 120 of the abortions that are performed.  They support abortions to preserve the mental health of the mother by 61% to 35%.  These are about one out of eighty abortions.  They support the availability of eugenic abortions for serious birth defects, which comprise about one out of 160 of all abortions.  Finally, they support abortions for rape and incest by 75% to 22%, but these are only about one out of 800 abortions.  In summary, then, Americans support the “hard case” abortions which make up three percent of all abortions.

But we oppose the 97 percent of abortions that are done for social, economic or convenience reasons by a margin of 61 percent to 36 percent.  82 percent of all abortions, for example, are done on unmarried women.

As we might expect, most Americans support first-trimester abortions, which follows from the polls that say most Americans support Roe v. Wade (as long as the false impression is given that it legalized abortions in the first trimester only).

But large majorities of Americans think that second-trimester abortions should be illegal by a huge margin of 71% to 24%, and we think third-trimester abortions should be illegal by a crushing 86%-10% margin.  When we talk about these poll results, pro-abortionists tend to want to change the subject quickly.

®       Americans also favor various laws intended to protect the health and informed consent of women.  Yet pro-abortionists oppose all of these measures in court, showing that they really don’t care about the public opinion polls, unless they can somehow be spun as supporting abortion.

Favor    Oppose

24-hour waiting periods before an abortion               69%      28%

Girls under 18 must have parental consent                71%      27%

Informed consent for the woman on dangers of abortion    87%      11%

Woman must see ultrasound before an abortion             50%      46%

Husband must be notified of wife’s abortion              64%      34%

Women informed of alternatives to abortion               88%      11%


®       What does all of these numbers mean in the long run?  They mean this:  If abortion was put to a nationwide referendum tomorrow, Americans would vote to ban 97 percent of all abortions.


 ®  Media Myth #8:  “Men have no right to speak out against abortion.”


®       The old hypocrisy meter is definitely pegged on this one.

Pro-abortion people tell us all the time about how men should just shut the hell up and butt out of the abortion decision because it’s her body and she can do whatever she wants with it.

®       For example, on one smarmy Saturday Night Live episode, Nasim Pedrad said “If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks.  There would be two on every block and four in every airport ― and the morning after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch,” while a smirking Seth Meyers watched.

As we have already shown, the unborn child is certainly not part of a woman’s body.  This is a regressive and unscientific opinion.

Of course, the pro-abortionists will certainly not tell you to shut up if you are a man and you speak out for abortion.

®       In 1973, nine old men on the Supreme Court of the United States gave us abortion on demand.  Did the feminists tell them to shut up and butt out because they couldn’t get pregnant?  And we have had a parade of predatory United States Senators, from “Lightning Lips” Bob Packwood of Oregon to “Teddy Bear” Kennedy of Massachusetts, talking about abortion constantly.  And it was common knowledge that Arizona abortionist Brian Finkel raped and sexually abused scores of his abortion patients while they were unconscious during his procedures.  But despite their preying on women, these men were welcomed at “pro-choice” rallies, which shows you where their priorities lie.  With pro-abortion zealots, abortion always ranks ahead of the health and welfare of women.

If you are male and pro-choice, you have matured in your view on women’s sexuality, they say.  If you are male and pro-life, you hate women, it is a simple as that.  That is how central abortion is to their mentality.

®       But the validity and truth of an argument has absolutely nothing to do with a person’s sex, age, race, or any other variable.  If a statement or an argument is true, then it is true ― it does not matter who is saying it!  Anyone who says that men may not speak out against abortion is, by definition, anti-male.

®       If men cannot speak on abortion because they can’t get pregnant, then women should not speak about war if they can’t be in an armed force, white people should not speak about racism if they have not been discriminated against, and women should be prohibited from speaking about sports that only include men.  These parallel examples show just how illogical this pro-abortion “women only” argument really is.

®       Pro-abortion leaders say that, since men cannot become pregnant, then they should have no voice about abortion.  But many of their women leaders are beyond the age where they can have children, so what gives them the right to speak for abortion?

®       Nancy Pelosi, a so-called “Catholic” who pushes abortion relentlessly, is 73 years old.

Molly Yard, former president of the National Organization for Women, was 83 years old when she died, and was still pushing abortion.

Frances Kissling, longtime president of the pro-abortion group “Catholics” for a Free Choice, is 70 years old.

Kate Michelman, former head of NARAL Pro-Choice America, is 70 years old.

Faye Wattleton, former president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the largest chain of abortion mills in the country, is 69 years old.

They can’t get pregnant any more than men can!  So what gives them the right to speak?


®  Media Myth #9:  “You can’t legislate morality!”

®       This is one of the silliest assertions made by the pro-abortion movement.

®       Of course we can legislate morality.  This is the purpose of every law that has ever been written.  If anyone ever tells you that you can’t legislate morality, you can stop them cold by asking them to name a law that does not legislate morality in some way.

To say that we cannot legislate morality means advocacy of absolute and total anarchy.  The extensive legislating of morality is absolutely essential to the survival of any society.

®       One purpose of this slogan is to try to cast abortion, euthanasia, pornography and other issues as Church/State conflicts.  People who use this media myth assert that anyone who tries to outlaw some immoral act is doing so out of a purely religious motivation.  This is an attempt to sideline religious believers from the political process, and we must not tolerate it.

®       Most laws are based on the Ten Commandments.  Does this mean that we should just throw them all away?

  • Thou Shalt Not Kill:  Laws against murder, manslaughter, negligent homicide, attempted suicide, mutilation of both living and dead persons, possession of unregistered firearms, drunkenness, drunken driving, reckless endangerment, kidnapping, and the sale and use of illegal or dangerous drugs.
  • Thou Shalt Not Steal:  Laws against robbery, fraud, shoplifting, stealing, larceny, theft, insider trading and embezzlement.
  • Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness:  Laws against libel, slander, and perjury (lying under oath). 

All of these laws legislate morality, and all of them are based on the Ten Commandments.


®  Media Myth #10:  “Every child must be a wanted child!”

Pro-abortion people believe that “unwantedness” leads to abuse, and that, if all children are “wanted,” child abuse will decrease.  However, if a child’s degree of desirability to its parents is the measure of its worth, then it is simply dehumanized and made into an object.

®       Right after abortion was legalized in the United States, NARAL heartlessly seized on the epidemic of child abuse as an excuse to promote abortion.  It said that “Legal abortion will decrease the number of unwanted children, battered children, child abuse cases, and possibly subsequent delinquency, drug addiction, and a host of social ills believed to be associated with neglectful parenthood.”

®       The opinion that children are only valued as much as they are wanted obviously opens the door to child abuse.  For example, abortion has increased, not decreased, the amount of child abuse in the United States.  The reported rate of child abuse in the USA has tripled from 1972 to 1995, and the rate of fatal child abuse cases also tripled during this time period.

Cases of              Child Abuse

                   Substantiated            Rate Per

Year               Child Abuse         1,000 Children


1972        199,289        2.9

1980        376,104        6.1

1985        637,389        10.4

1990        801,143        12.7

1995      1,000,502        14.6


®       The “wanted child” slogan is truly hideous, because it assigns worth to a human life based purely on the whim of another person ― in this case, a child’s mother.  Naturally, this logic could also be applied to born children just as easily as it could to preborn children.  Not surprisingly, the rate of murders of newborn children and infants in the United States has also increased drastically since abortion was legalized in 1973.

Blessed Mother Teresa said that “Saying that there are too many children is like saying that there are too many flowers.”  What brings greater joy and innocence to the world than a sweet little baby or toddler?


® Conclusion

What the pro-life movement needs now is prayer and new people.  We can expand the size and power of the pro-life movement by bringing new people into it.  Everyone listening to this talk knows two or three people who are sympathetic to the plight of the unborn, but are not involved.  This is usually because they have one or two problems with our philosophy or with the pro-life movement as portrayed by the corrupt mainstream media.  Such uninvolved people might think that the pro-life movement is unsympathetic towards rape and incest victims; or that there are too many people in the world; or, since most people support abortion, it must be all right.

If you learn the topic and gently persuade these uninvolved people that their beliefs about the pro-life movement are incorrect, you have a much greater chance of bringing them into activism, whether it is street activities or crisis pregnancy center work.

If you would like a complete course on self-instruction on how to debunk the forty most common pro-abortion slogans, including the ten discussed today, please e-mail Brian Clowes at bclowes@hli.org.



Brian Clowes

Human Life International


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