Authors-choice: Hope & Revival

In an online spat with some critics, the winner of Season 7 of BBNaija, Ijeoma Josephina Otabor, also known as Phyna, revealed that she has had two abortions despite being only 25 years old. This young lady won the hearts of BBNaija fans with her open and easy manner in which she spoke her mind while pulling no punches. But behind those brilliant facades and quick smiles are pains, anguish, and broken hearts that drove her to terminate the two pregnancies. She stated that the first time she had an abortion; she was 19 years old and a student at Auchi Polytechnic, where she was studying Agricultural and Bio Environmental Engineering Technology. In an attempt to explain her reason for choosing to abort her baby, she said, “I knew am from a very poor background, we used to eat once a day then, especially in the afternoon and then carry it till the next day. So keeping the baby was out of the question.”

Though she did not say who the father was, it is reasonable to assume that it was someone who was supporting her and paying for her education, and taking advantage of her poverty. She was 24, had just finished school, and was possibly looking for marriage when she had her second abortion. She claimed she was ready to keep the child, but it was clear that the father of the child had no intention of marrying her and was abusive, so she chose to free herself from his clutches by having an abortion and ending the relationship.

Furthermore, Phyna believes that abortion is common among girls, and she claims that 98 of a hundred girls have had abortions, though many of them would not be so open about it. She is also quick to point out that having those abortions was a mistake, especially since she is Catholic; the Catholic faith views abortion as nothing less than the murder of an innocent child, and thus imposes a strict penalty of ex-communication on anyone who has done it or even assisted in procuring an abortion. The beauty of it is that, while the church is very strict, it is also very concerned with bringing healing and reconciliation with God for those who have fallen into this grave sin, which is why Pope Francis recently empowered parish priests with the power to lift the penalty of ex-communication and absolve the sin of abortion, which was previously only the prerogative of the bishop. As a result, Phyna went to confession and asked for forgiveness.

The lesson here is that every woman’s decision to have an abortion has a story, and understanding and compassion must come first before anyone casts a stone. In addition to the mistaken belief that abortion is the only way out of a toxic relationship, the main lesson here for young girls is that sex before marriage, no matter how rosy the promises made to them by their boyfriends, is ultimately the leading cause of abortion, and abstinence until marriage remains the only truly effective remedy. Understandably, this is a difficult sell for impoverished girls looking for money to pay for school, and thus an easy pawn for men with money and power. Nonetheless, any girl who is truly determined would be able to abstain from sex before marriage, even if it meant cutting her coat to her size and foregoing the nice toys that her rich girlfriends or rich boyfriends have. It is difficult, but it is possible with a spirit of humility and Godliness.

Even though Phyna now claims that she has repented and would never abort another child now that she has enough money to feed ten children, it is difficult to believe her because abortion is a moral choice to accept what is inconvenient, to shoulder responsibility, and to be willing to forego the easy way out and take the long and difficult path, and all of these are characters that require self-sacrifice, characters that cannot be bought with money. Furthermore, a key component of repentance is the willingness to avoid future opportunities that could lead to sin, which in Phyna’s case is not so obvious given that she recently participated in the infamous BBNiaja, a show that is reputed to encourage sexual immorality and provide an opportunity for sin not only for the participants but also for those who watch and enjoy such shows.

Furthermore, repentance and willingness to make amends must go hand in hand, and hopefully, now that she is rich with a 100 million naira prize, she can begin to make amends and lead a clean life worthy of a catholic Christian girl and role models for the young, and as the winner of season 7 of this last show, she has inadvertently taken the role of a model for many young girls who would wish to be like her, and thus she carries an even greater moral obligation

It would be nice if she thought about donating some of her money to help less fortunate girls who, like her, were forced to have sex in order to pay their school fees. Phyna could consider establishing a trust fund to provide scholarships to young girls who lack financial resources, so they don’t have to rely on men who will exploit them. Finally, those who would judge and condemn Phyna for her previous abortions should learn to suspend judgment and temper justice with mercy, knowing that love and understanding are far more effective than judgmental condemnation in providing lasting healing to women who have had the misfortune of having abortions. Indeed, Phyna should be commended for her bravery in speaking out about her grave guilt, and her remorse and true repentance would be evident in how she organizes her life and atones for past sins. Every saint, as the saying goes, has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Article was written by Tony Mobinayo