Twenty-nine-year-old Mandy Dobbelmann is a Minnesota native who lives in Los Angeles, CA. Mandy is a singer/songwriter, music teacher, blogger, and justice-fighter who is passionate about the issues of sex trafficking, prostitution, and abortion.
I stumbled upon an article Mandy wrote,”Keeping Sex Complicated,” for her blog,”Forte e Bello.” The title of her blog post made me curious, and since it was floating around my Facebook feed, I decided to read it. I’m thankful I did.
The Italian “Forte e Bello” means “strong and beautiful.” After reading through Mandy’s blog, I’d say that description fits her perfectly.
Mandy has a striking physical beauty paired with a loving heart that exudes vibrant joy, hope, and faith. In her article, Mandy tells her readers what it’s like to live in a city where sex appeal is everything and sexual addiction prevails, and where your sexual history is directly correlated with your identity.
Mandy writes:
I live in a city that is the porn capital of the world and that teaches the rest of culture through the influence of Hollywood and the media that sex is easy, uncomplicated and nothing more than a human appetite. Since I’ve moved to LA, the most common reaction I get from friends and coworkers when they find out I’m a virgin is a blank stare followed by an abrupt, ‘Why?’ I realize most people assume there must be something wrong with anyone who is still a virgin past the age of twenty. It’s the type of thing they’ll interview you on Oprah for (The Thirty Year Old Virgin) or make a comedy about (The Forty Year Old Virgin). It’s the type of thing people hide in shame over and vehemently deny in the face of peer pressure.
Mandy’s right in her assessment of the times. Being a virgin past adolescence in 2014 is not an easy thing. College campuses offer the morning-after pill in vending machines, sexually provocative dances like “twerking” are all the rage, and people dare to sell their virginity for cash.
In the midst of all of this, Mandy is unashamed to share her views on sex. Mandy wants others to know she’s a virgin not because she’s sheltered or mentally askew. Rather, she believes that sex is valuable. Her Christian faith teaches her she’s made in the image of God, and she refuses to become one with a man who hasn’t made a life commitment to her. In her own words, she says, “I’m a virgin because I am a passionate proponent of keeping the sanctity, beauty and value in sex”.
Mandy makes it clear that her virgin status in no way makes her more valuable than the person who has had many partners. She isn’t saying that those who engage in sex outside marriage don’t value themselves. Mandy is declaring that the reason she chooses to wait is that she views sex as a beautiful, powerful, and binding act. Mandy sees sex as complicated, not just a casual act.
She writes:
Our culture tries to un-complicate sex by advocating to, “do it often and with multiple partners.” We try to un-complicate sex by dumbing it down to a mere appetite. Even if it were a mere appetite then a good majority of our culture could be classified as sexually obese. Let’s face it. Sex is complicated. It is the driving force of many people’s lives. And they will loose all human reason to indulge in it for a fleeting second. Sex is powerful. It has the power to bind together or tear apart. It has the power to heal or destroy. It has the power to build up or tear down. It has the power to give or to take. It has the power to mar or to make beautiful.
I admire Mandy’s stand. As a 32-year-old virgin who’s happily getting married this summer, I know how challenging it can be to save sex for marriage. As a woman who works at a pregnancy resource center, I also see the damaging effects of sex outside marriage. Sex is meant to be a holistic experience that touches our minds, bodies, souls, and emotions. It’s more than just a pleasure; it’s a pleasure that comes with great responsibility.
A 2010 study called “RELATE” interviewed 2,035 married participants who waited until marriage to have sex. The study found that people who delayed sex till marriage
rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex
rated relationship stability as 22% higher
rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher
Not to mention that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid STDs and pregnancy. Delaying sex ’til marriage is a healthy, responsible, and affirming life choice. I support Mandy in her decision and applaud others who are following the same example.
LifeNews Note: Christinia Martin writes for Live Action News. Martin has been a pro-life voice for eight years. Her work began after her mother confessed she paid a doctor to abort her, but walked out before he could. Knowing she was saved from death, she wanted to fight for others.
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Authors-choice: Hope & Revival 
I’m 21 yrs old, i’m still a virgin hope God will help me overcome all the pressure from male friends and boyfriend. So help me Lord.
Am 19 yes old girl am still a virgin nd I pray dat God will help me to continue keeping it until God’s wish
Thanks for writing in Jeevika Debby, you are wise and strong, may God guide you to a loving husband
Keep the candlestick burning my dear Mandy because you’ve really proven that you’re a wise virgin as many has Seen the light through you
Hi, is it possible to be put in contact with Mandy in regards to an article I’m writing? Or perhaps use quotes from this with her permission? My deadline is Friday. X
pls Im a virgin of 20yrs and I ve met a guy hu proposed 2 me.The guy was pressuring me 2 ve sex wif him but I didnt agree with him.I told him dat I will never ve sex with him nd he said dat even if he agrees with me,he can go out 2 ve sex with other ladies so I ignored him.And later this guy has come back again and he said that he will agree with my decions but because of wat he said at first,I really dnt noe if he is telling me the truth or nt and I also hw 2 trust h again.Pls help me wat should I do??
You are a very bright girl Abi. You are right, never trust this guy again, because any man who can tell a girl he claims to love that he is going to have sex with other girls, is not worthy of that girl. He is either a very big lair or a very big fool. In either case, he is not worthy of you. Dump him, and you will be better off for it. Wait, pray and work, a man of firm character and honest disposition will soon find you.
pls this guy said that he didnt mean wat he said dat he is going 2 ve sex with other girls.He also said he is really inlove with me and dnt want 2 loose me.Pls Im really confused wat should I do??
Still, Abi, whether he meant it or not, the fact still remains that he tried to blackmail you into having sex. That’s what crooks do. He is a crook who uses blackmail to get what he wants. If you marry him, he will be using blackmail on you. He is a black guard. Make sure he understands that. The maintain your ground, no sex before marriage. If he is fine with that, then you may remain friendly, if not, ditch him fast before he does you real harm.
thank you very much may God bless you
Im a virgin of twenty yrs old,I have said to myself to remain virgin till marriage buh I met a guy who proposed to me nd this guy wnt to have sex with me.I really love him buh since he is nt ready to respect my decision and I have moved away frm him.Thanks for your story bcus it has really encouraged me.
You are welcome, Abigail. Glad you found the story helpful. You are right to have ditched this man, it looks like he is out to get what he wants regardless of your wishes. Never trust such a man man
wow im blessed by this story…i am also a 24 year old female virgin but the devil dd play with my mind in the past few years i was into porn but the grace of the Lord saved me i wanna live a pure life for God now abstaining with my body,mind and soul
Hi, Pat, thanks for sharing your story with us. You are a strong woman and I want you to know that you are not alone. We are all behind you, supporting you, we will be praying for you. Yes, stand fast against the devil, that father of lies who wants to destroy your mind, body and soul. Porn is a great weapon of this evil one, and he has enslaved many, many daughters and and sons of God who could have given many glory to him. He has emasculated them and made them into his little puppets, unfit for even the fire of hell. Thank God for putting these Godly sentiments into you. Reclaim your heritage as a daughter of God and princess. Keep God in your mind all day long, flee all occasions of that will destroy your good relations with your father God. When the time come, God will give you a good husband, a Godly man who will love and cherish you and you will bear him many beautiful children. Even if marriage does not happen, then God wants you for himself so that He will reward you with Eternal, everlasting happiness. It is worthwhile, keep it up