Secret to a Happy Relationship By Brian Clowes

4 09 2014

One recipe-for-a-happy-relationship

 Our Lord told us “… you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength” [Mark 12:30].

This means that, however unique each person is, everyone is comprised of four primary elements;

(1)  The physical element (the body);

(2)  The mental element (the mind, or intellect);

(3)  The emotional element (the heart); and

(4)  The spiritual element (the soul).

The key to a happy life – and a happy marriage – is lost on this world.  These days, most relationships between men and women start with the physical (having sex).  As the relationship continues, the man and woman may proceed to find out if they are mentally compatible.  Usually, they get no further than this.  They do not ever plumb the depths of the person – the emotional and the physical, upon which enduring relationships are based.  This is why about 80 percent of marriages between people who cohabit, or “shack up,” end in divorce.

By contrast, the Catholic Church knows the secret of living a long and happy life together.  If a young man and young woman find that they are compatible spiritually first, this is the foundation of a lasting relationship.  They then go on to find that they are compatible emotionally and mentally, and, finally, if they are in tune on these elements, they will find on their wedding night that they are indeed compatible physically.  In the United States, married couples who use natural family planning (NFP) and observe the teachings of the Catholic Church, have about a three percent to six percent divorce rate

Chastity in the Single StatePeople these days have many worries and stresses in their lives.  I tell young people especially to enjoy their youth, because there will be time enough for worry and cares later.

But young people now load themselves up with all manner of terrible stresses, and it is not supposed to be this way.  People before marriage should enjoy the greatest happiness of all – being free of a mind that is weighed down with worry.

A person who has sex before marriage may indeed enjoy its fleeting physical pleasure, but the Devil always extracts his price.  Such people will be oppressed with a large number of heavy thoughts and concerns;

  • “Unwanted” pregnancy and single motherhood;
  • Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and AIDS;
  • Loss of self-respect and good reputation;
  • Worrying about what their parents will think;
  • Buying and hiding contraceptives;
  • Contraception/abortifacient side effects;
  • Abortion and its physical and emotional impacts;
  • Raising children alone in poverty;
  • Difficulty in finding a good husband or wife; and
  • Fear of loss of their soul!

Free vs. Planned Parenthood Living

  • In Control of your life (standing on your own and living by your own values) vs. Being Controlled by Others (being influenced by peer pressure to have sex and use drugs, pervasive influence of the media, attempts to make you live by the values of others);
  • Trust in your parents and friends (who you know have your best interests at heart) vs. Lack of Trust (not knowing when someone wants to use or abuse you);
  • Called to Higher Things (service to God, nation and other people) vs. No Higher Vision (living just for the enjoyment of the present moment with no concern for others);
  • Natural Living (not deliberately polluting your body with powerful chemicals) vs. Medicated Living (using powerful birth control and anti-STD drugs);
  • Can Think (making decisions based on thought-out and solid values) vs. Pure Instinct (making decisions based on the moment, on what you feel like right then);
  • Deep Relationships (based on Faith, love and friendship) vs. “Hooking Up” (using each other and quickly moving on to someone else);
  • Freedom (living and loving by your own values) vs. Being a Slave or a Pet (living by everyone else’s values);
  • Human Being (living as if you have a soul) vs. Animal (living as if you do not have a soul).

The Great Paradox:  “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free” [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe].

What Amuses Us?:  This is an age of entertainment, an age of distraction, an age of fevered activity.  The problem with all of these distractions, if we do not control them, is that they can lead to addiction — and further remove us from the Source of all true peace and contentment, Jesus Christ.

There are many things that amuse us, but only in a shallow and temporary way:  Drugs, sex, influence, possessions, the “New Age,” money, travel, fame, food, alcohol and power, among others.

We have learned through hard experience that only two things give us lasting contentment, happiness and joy:  Faith and family.  Yet so many people have given these things up for much more shallow pursuits.


Brian Clowes



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