16 Lessons I learnt After Losing My Virginity at 16 By Anna Kemarch

15 09 2013
16-lesson-i-leant-after

“I am sixteen and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn’t care that much about. Since that first night, he expects sex on every date. When I don’t feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don’t think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl’s life. After you have done it, things are never the same. It changes everything.” Since then I have been involved with other guys and I have learnt a few lessons. Here are some:

1. Many teenage girls sleep with guys because they are trying to find love, to find self-worth. But the catch is that the more guys they sleep with, the less self-worth they had.

2. Many girls think that if they really care about guys, sex will bring them closer together. Indeed, sex creates a bond. However, 80 percent of the time, the physical intimacy of the first sexual relationship won’t last more than six months.

3. Couples who want what is best for their relationship or future marriage will have the patience to wait.

4. Most of the time, when a girl gives away her virginity, she assumes the relationship will last forever. But a study of more than 10,000 women shows that when a girl loses her virginity at that age at 14, she’ll probably have about thirteen more lifetime sexual partners.

5. Teen sex frequently causes tension within families because of the dishonesty that usually accompanies the hidden intimacies. Relationships with friends are often strained, and when things turn sour, the gossip and social problems often become unbearable.

6. Everyone talks about how hard it is to say no to sex, but no one tells you how hard it is when you say yes.

7. It is dangerous for a teenage girl to be sexually active. Because a teenage girl’s reproductive system is still immature, she is very susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases

8. In fact, early sexual activity is the number one risk factor for cervical cancer, and the second is multiple sexual partners. A girl’s body, like her heart, is not designed to handle multiple sexual partners.

9. While a girl might plan on sleeping with only one guy, she could be exposing herself to the STDs of hundreds of people through a single act of intercourse. Here’s how: Scientists studied the sexual activity of a public high school of about one thousand students. About half (573) of the students had been sexually active, and most of them had only been with one partner. However, when the scientists tracked the web of sexual activity among the students, it was discovered that more than half of the sexually active teens—without knowing it—were linked together in a network of 288 partners within the school! So if a girl slept with a guy from this school, theoretically she could be in bed with one-fourth of the entire student body.

10. The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. One of the most common consequences of teenage sexual activity is depression. Sexually active girls are more than three times as likely to be depressed as abstinent girls. In fact, the condition has become so predictable that the American Journal of Preventive Medicine recommends to doctors: “[Girls who are engaging in] sexual intercourse should be screened for depression and provided with anticipatory guidance about the mental health risks of these behaviors.”Even if a girl experiments with sex once, research shows an increased risk of depression. Also, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sexually active girls (aged twelve to sixteen) is six times higher than the rate for virgins. Tragically, these girls do not realize the purity, hope, and forgiveness that they can find in Christ.

11. Unfortunately, many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have sex to make a guy like her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person’s heart is not made to be that close to a person and then separated.

12. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-worth is often damaged. She may conclude that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to harmful practices, such as eating disorders. Or the disappointment she feels may drive her into a state of self-hatred. Some young women even begin to hurt their own bodies in an attempt to numb the emotional pain. Such practices never solve the problems, though. If she wants to be loved, she needs to begin by loving herself.

13. In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted because without chastity she does not know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy does not love her unless he makes sexual advances toward her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially, but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.

14. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll on her ability to bond. Here’s why: Sharing the gift of sex is like putting a piece of tape on another person’s arm. The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to another person’s arm, and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove. Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape. Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape’s ability to stick.

15. The same is true in relationships because neurologists have discovered that previous sexual experiences can interfere with one’s ability to bond with future partners. This does not mean that if a person is not a virgin on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse. It simply means that when we follow God’s plan, we have the most abundant life possible. But when we turn from his designs and break his commandments, often we are the ones who feel broken afterward.

16. Spiritual sin cuts us off from God, and this is the most serious consequence of premarital sex. After going too far, many of us know all too well the cloud of guilt that weighs on our hearts. The solution is not to kill our conscience but to follow it to freedom. It is calling us, not condemning us. Provided we repent, God will be there to welcome us home and let us start over (see John 8 and Luke 15).

What this all means is that our bodies, our hearts, our relationships, and our souls are not made for premarital sex. We are made for enduring love

Article adapted from Chastity.com


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5 01 2023
5 yrs Relationship and No Sex between Actor Alex Ekubo and Model Fancy Acholonu | Authors-choice: Hope & Revival

[…] more forcefully, Maureen Abah argues in an article titled, 10 Reasons I’m Glad I Kept My Virginity Until Marriage, that abstaining from premarital sex allows both parties in the relationship to be clear-sighted and […]

14 06 2022
God's Love

i disvirgin myself at age eighteen

16 05 2022
Raymond

I was 17 when I had my first sex with my gf who was 16.
Tho I really love her and she does more, and I always have the urge to do more even tho she doesn’t like it. So I want to ask can I still be strong not to have sex with her again till I marry her? Cos I really wish I could marry her.
And can I still make it in life has the way God want me to be

16 05 2022
Authors-choice

Hi, Raymond, thanks for writing in. The urge for sex is inbuilt in man because it’s the way to perpetuate the species and hence made for married couples who can raise the offspring their sexual acts produces. When unmarried people have sex, they offend God and run the risk of having unwanted pregnancies which could lead to a lot of misery and ruin the life of both. So please if you love this girl, wait till you are old enough to marry, then marry her and she’ll be a good wife.

6 03 2022
Tunzmie

Thank for knowlege i am 19 year my boy lover told me that i should give him my virginty

29 11 2021
Jane

A lesson I learnt in life is that virginity doesn’t ascertain that a man will remain with you after marrying you because infidelity is a choice. Sometimes in life, a lady can keep her virginity till marriage because of the saying that if you loose your virginity in marriage that the man will respect and cherish you and will not sleep with other women, sometimes it ends up not happening that way. Then on the other hand, the lady that lost her virginity before getting married would be loved and so much cherished by her spouse and he would sleep with she and she alone. So, these things vary. I personally don’t believe that for all persons that virginity must determine a happy marriage. Life has proven this hypothesis wrong in all ramifications. I’m not saying that it is wrong to be a virgin till marriage, all I am saying is that we shouldn’t make it look like virginity is a sure ticket to a good, blossoming, happy marriage. This is my take🤷🤷

29 11 2021
Authors-choice

I agree that Virginity isn’t a guarantee of happy marriage, but it guarantees freedom from diseases, out of wedlock pregnancies, and hopeless remourse after betrayals. Think about it, it’s much easier to walk away from a treacherous relationship if you haven’t given him your most intimate body and soul.

28 11 2021
Jane

What if the guy you are dating has sex with only you and no other, is it advicable to still have sex even when both of you are not married but planning to be married someday?

29 11 2021
Authors-choice

Dear Jane, thanks for writing. The problem with sex before marriage is that you are giving away a most intimate part of your body to someone who has no obligation to love you and only you. Without the bond of marriage, sex becomes a lie since you are really saying “I am your for life” by the act but in reality, it is not so.

23 07 2021
Zion Isaac

I am 23 year virgin i date a guy for good seven years without sex but is not easy with him he disturb me for sex everytime we meet remain two years for us to get marry he engage me but he told me that he is loosing patience that i have to give him sex since he is coming for my introduction i need advice please

23 07 2021
Authors-choice

Hi, Zion Isaac, congratulations on your progress, and I am happy you will soon be married. Jelp your soon be husband to learn self control, pray for him and tell him to be patient, that you and him will give yourselves to each other as a special gift on your wedding night to mark the forever union. This is how God wants it to be. Be faithful

25 08 2021
Nonso

First, pray for God’s wisdom and approach the conversation with your soon to be husband candidly. God ordained sex for marriage husband and wife, and when we break God’s law, there’s a consequence. It can God’s blessings and protection. Although it may be hard, but when it comes making a husband to happy by having with him and obeying God’s commandment, I would rather be on the side of God.

21 08 2021
Hafsat Yusuf

Just be praying for him to stop asking for you about until you get married

11 06 2021
Anonymous

My name is chisom am 19 and my bf is 20 i lost my virginity when i was 18 bcos i love my bf so much bt he is still asking of sex till nw i dont know if he loves me

11 06 2021
Authors-choice

Hi, Chisom, yes sex is like that, once you start having sex, you need more sex and will not stop until you are pregnant and because you aren’t really ready to have a child, abd he isn’t really to be a father, you Chisom will be in big trouble and he will run away or worse ask you to have an abortion. Either way you will be a looser. Furthermore, sex releases powerful hormones that make you think you love someone even if that person really does not love you and is only using you to satisfy himself sexually. So, my advice to you, keep away from having sex, and if he asks, tell him to marry you and you will see what happens. My guess is that he won’t, and that’s how you know that he doesn’t love you. Because when you love someone, you want to marry her.

21 08 2021
Hafsat Yusuf

Not every guy will continue loving you when u give him what he .he will just ask u when he starts feeling about it because there no girl will give him except u. He just using u because he understands u love him so much that why

18 05 2021
Lil

I really appreciate you coming with such a reasonable and logical mind blowing advise..I am 21 and still a virgin, I haven’t really kissed, dated any man before, ..I have decided to remain that way just because of God, he really did save me when I was a little kid, I was lured by a houseboy who wanted to sleep with me but didn’t succeed,at some point the devil was inflicting some thoughts in my head telling me I was not a virgin because of that incident since I was a very little kid but I could remember vividly he never penetrated ,. God really saved me and that’s why I feel he wants me to remain pure

19 05 2021
Authors-choice

Good for you Lilly, keep it up and God will help you get a good husband.

2 05 2021
progress

does it mean that if u get disvirigin when u are not yet married that u you will not get a better partner even when you are regreting your pass mistake

2 05 2021
Authors-choice

No, Progress, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be able marry in the future, but it’s risky. Sex is a serious thing, you could become pregnant from it, and if that happens when you are not married your life could become very difficult, giving birth and taking care of a child best in marriage with your husband to help, but even more scary is that you could become infected with some sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AID which you know is passed on during sexual acts, furthermore, why throw away yourself to someone who can enjoy you and dump you soon for someone else because he is not married to you?

1 05 2021
Betty praise

hi i’m betty from cross river state
and i’m 16yrs
still a virgin
i’m so glad i came across this message

i’ve lost my sense of thinking for sometimes now
so i had to ask this question
i have been into a relationship with four different guys
and they were all after my body
but i didn’t allow any of them to disvirgin me cause i know it will hurt me so much
and right now i’m into a relationship with a guy
he loves me so much
and i love him too
each time he ask me if am still a virgin
i say yes
but i’m confused
pls advice me
he ask for sex and i’ve already said yes
but we haven’t had sex yet
now my question is what should i do to avoid this sex and a simple excuse to tell him cause i’ve said yes to allow him have sex with me
i’m so confused?

1 05 2021
Authors-choice

Betty, there’s no true love that is not willing to wait for the beloved. If this guy loves you as he said he does, tell him plainly him what you just told me now, if he loves you, he will understand and love you even more, and won’t ever want to hurt you and will wait till you both are married. If not, then he doesn’t love you. It’s that simple. Love is patient. Please don’t fall for cheap love that glitters, wait for gold that last for ever. Make no mistake, once he conquers your virginity, once he uses you to satisfy himself, he will move on to other conquest.

1 05 2021
Authors-choice

Besides, Betty, sex is for adults, you are 16 years old, and by law, you are under aged to) 18 is minimum age of consent under Nigerian law, so having sex now, you will be breaking the law, and I know that you would argue that some of your friends do it, but it’s not right.

4 02 2021
David blessing

Well said

1 10 2019
Anonymous

This article is highly biased and inflated with traditional prejudice. Makes me sick!

1 10 2019
Editor

Perhaps you need to see a doctor?

2 09 2019
Beranss

..For me am in 16 bt am thinking about to give out wat shud i do ma pals

2 09 2019
Editor

Beranss, don’t. Have patience and you will be happy. Remember that precious stones are always buried deep and very difficult to reach, yet they are priceless.

9 06 2019
henrie b

hi im sixteen now and lost my virginity to my cousin brother who was fourteen and me just six so tender about ten yrs ago and was having a doubt if i was still a virgin without my parents knowing about dis met a man who was my foster dad and told him he decided to check me cause we both love each other like father&duaghter stuff and is married but later on we started having sex he didnt force nor threatend me but kept cool and simple without anyone knowing just d two of us and is always after my intrest than his both academically and spiritually and will always joke and say i will marry u when d time comes after making me and ur parents proud academically scould me when necessary and bring me close when crying my parents knows us with d father &duaghter tin but not d affair tin i love him so much wit my heart naturally not sexually and so he is but jealous of me so well and is making her not wantin me to around his house but still impossible to scatter us he say without promosin me dat nothin will com between us not even if i dont give him my body dat he will always be there forever i seem to be thrilled by those words u know better pls lecture me! thanks and need ur help is it right?

10 06 2019
Linda

Dear henrie b, I am so sorry for what has happened to you, and I suspect you are not very close to your parents, perhaps that’w why you didn’t tell them, but you made a mistake not to tell your mum. A woman, she would have helped you best, you should have told them rather than your so called “foster dad” and I think you are old enough now to know that this sexual relation you have this man is wrong and you should stop it right away or you could find yourself in very deep trouble. For one, he is a married man and cannot be any other thing to you but an adulterer, yes, and if you get pregnant your problems will only multiply because he won’t marry you, unless of course polygamy is allowed in your place and if his first wife will accept you. What ever be the case, honey, you deserve better than this, you ought to start looking beyond your nose and dream of the stars, you have your whole life ahead, don’t chuck it all out the window for a loser.

22 12 2021
Favour

Wow 😲 this touches me soooo much am even crying………am so sorry for those girls that has lose their virginity by mistake or in the name of love. Am 18 years and still a virgin, I’ve friend so many men but because of the sex matter I’ve decided to dump all cause I promised myself that I won’t be involved in such act because of God. I will keep my virginity for the right man….

20 04 2019
Esther CHILALA lubinga

True

6 04 2019
Philomena Dargbeh

I have learned from this

5 04 2019
Anonymous

This really gave me a lesson and strength to keep my virginity till marriage.Thanx🙏

5 04 2019
Editor

You are welcome, glad it helped

3 04 2019
Emmy

Please am dating buh de guy says no one must knw abt de relationship except our parents nd close friends coz he doesn’t want people to talk about us or pass uunnecessary comments
Or tell a lie to him or me
Please is it good or bad

3 04 2019
Editor

Sounds like a good idea a

23 03 2019
Philomena

I also want to tell my boyfriend that I no longer want to have sex with him until we are married and I don’t know where to start. Please help me.

23 03 2019
Editor

Hi, Philomena, begin by praying and asking God’s forgiveness, then God will give you the strength to break the self defeating relationship

23 03 2019
Philomena

I also want to tell my boyfriend that I no longer want to have sex with him until we are married and I don’t know where to start. Please help me.

19 03 2019
eaglelove

i am 16yrs now but i have date more than 7 guys among all only 4 of them have try 2 disvirgin me but i think am still a virgin because anytime they 1 2 sex me i used 2 tell them that its painful i mean when they are all ready then they will leave me, i ones remember how i went 2 my b/f house i went there with my friend but rather my b/f call me 2 another room 2 sex me i unless him i was a virgin but he wasn’t sure so i had 2 prove 2 him which he latter confirm that i am, so is it truth dat i am

19 03 2019
Editor

Hi, dear, thanks for writing in. I think you need to change your lifestyle. Focus on your studies and keep away from intimate relationships for now till you are old enough to marry (18)

2 03 2019
Kristy

I got disvirgin at 17+ am dating him now bt most times he hurts me toys with me he has anger issues and i keep bearing when i complain he gets mad and ignore for days bt when it comes to sex, he sweet talk and i fall for it i almost got pregnant as i missed my period bt got lucky i tried to stop bt he tempts me atimes we broke up bt he came back and pleaded that he will change i blive him and for awhile he was ok but lately he ignors me for no reason i feel i should stop this but its hard too hard am bond to him but atimes i ask is this love or lust? pls help me

3 03 2019
Editor

It is lust, Kristy, please ask him to marry you, if not dump him

3 03 2019
Editor

Kristy, go and marry

1 03 2019
Adetoun rebecca

I am so confused rite now ..like m nt willing to give my virginity away buh my boyfriend is getting into my head he thinks I don’t love im dat y I dnt wanna be sex wit im but dat not true cos I do love im deeply bt he misunderstood everything nd it causing issues between us..he doesn’t want to understand…M not just so ready for dis…I dnt wanna lose im nd i wanna keep my virginity I dnt wanna regret either m so confused rite now

1 03 2019
Editor

Dear Adetoun Rebecca, don’t worry. If you lose him with your virginity in tact, you are much better off than if he took your virginity and you still lose him. I think which ever way the card falls, you’ll lose him because he is gold digger, only interested in hitting and running. Waiting for the right man requires patience but you will be happy when he comes. Let me remind you that a boyfriend isn’t a husband and therefore isn’t entitled to the rights of a husband. Sex is only licit and good between husband and wife.

15 12 2018
lizzy

I am a young lady of 18 am always feeling lonely.and most times i always have d desire to have sex i currently do nt have a boyfriend i always turn down majority of d guys who approach me cos i am not ready for now, but i just need someone to talk to,am always lonely and depressed,at times i masturbate but i thank God i am gradually stoping it,pls i need your help.

15 12 2018
Editor

Hi, Lizzy, Thanks for writing in. Yes we live in a highly connected world, yet many are lonely, even those who have 5000 friends on facebook are lonely, loneliness has reached epidemic proportion in our times. Yet there is a solution for it, but it demand hard work and getting out of ourselves to look at others and see how we can be of use and service to others. Longing for sex and pleasure is part of the symptom of loneliness, but it is not the solution. Being of service to your neighbors, friends and family is a better way to come out of the all enclosing selfishness that surround us and that is the key to overcoming loneliness. There are some resources that can help you overcome. You can inbox me Send me a private email capepublishingltd@gmail.com

9 10 2018
Joanne

I need to digest this

7 09 2018
Niphemmy
30 08 2018
Anonymous

i need sumone 2 talk 2 can i trust u

30 08 2018
Editor

Sure thing. You can

30 08 2018
Editor

Send me a private email capepublishingltd@gmail.com

7 09 2018
Niphemmy

Yes dear

21 07 2018
Esther

Well i tool the virginity pledge when i was 14 and i upheld it with my life. I broke up with my first boyfriend partly because i couldnt give in(was 19).He manupilatef Scriptures and made it look fine because we are living in the times of “grace”. I told myself that i wont go into another relatiomship till am 25 .Got a job at 22 and everyone at work liked me. I really wanted to influence them positively ti the Lord.
My boss loved my work and was super proud of my intellect and creativity. He would drop me home and won my trust as a ‘big brother’. He begun talking ill of his girlfriend who was a great friend of mine and luring me slowly.It all begun with holding my hands n then he led me into drinking and later did it to me. I hated andvat the same time feltvattached to him. I never wanted to hurt his girlfriend when he proposed so i started looking for ways out. I staged a friend as my boyfriend to get this guy to leave me n finally he did tearfully with a fight. I hated the man who took my virginity however much he loved n wanted to marry me. The relationship with my staged boyfriend became real and i love him like crazy that i told him that ugly truth .He was happy i never hid the trith n we r now preparing for our marriage…b4 2😊


https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

21 07 2018
Editor

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Esther. Wish you a happy marriage with the one you love. Great lessons here for young girls: do not assume that every man nice to you is so for pure motives, always remember that sexual attraction is often an overriding principle when a man and a woman meet (of course unless there is some physical barriers), thus keep away from dark, hidden places when you dating, things may happen which you never intended, more important, do not drink alcohol on dates, bad things happen when people are drunk. Last, Love grows slowly and gradually, (this is very important for women who are unhappy in their marriage) Esther is now in-love with her ‘stage boyfriend’ and they are planing to get married,. But it all started when she began pretending to love him and before she knew it, she really began to love him. You see, by pretending to love someone, you may actually begin to love that person. If you are unhappy with your husband, at least pretend to love him, doing all the right things you would do if you love him, and perhaps, you’ll fall in love love with him again. Same goes for husbands unhappy with their wives. Just pretend to love your wives and love will come.

25 03 2018
Johnson linus

Please young girls keep your body for future husband so you can have a successful bond during your honey mood and get children immediately leave some of all this guys, there cheaters.. Pls be self controlled LOVE IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX. be patient

23 12 2017
Blessing favour

Dunno, form what the boy is doing,he is trying to please his sexual urge by using u.what if u have sex with him and at the end he did not marry u that means no-1,he used u and no-2,lost ur virginity before marriage and so as a virgin i will advice u to end all ties with him and also think, ur virginity and d luv u have for him which one matters alot?

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

27 03 2019
Peter

Girls b careful sex Don’t prove love

21 12 2017
Blessing favour

I do nt no wat to say,but non virgins still get married.

http://i0.poll.fm/js/rating/rating.js

21 12 2017
Blessing favour

I am a virgin but also a young girl,and i belive that if u pray to God for help he will surely help u by giving u back your virginity because with him all things are possible. when u pray God will answer and he might have given you back ur virginity in physical but u might not know.try my idea and give the marrige and ur husband to be a chance.”!,*^.

http://i0.poll.fm/js/rating/rating.js

25 03 2018
Johnson linus

Yeah with God all this are possible but she’s not a virgin automatically… Even before the guy ask her for sex, she Already wanted it


https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

13 11 2017
Faith

Iam am 20 I have slept with 7 men including uncles and boyfriend, I feel dirty and that God has shy away from me I want things to go back to normal I need God to forgive and redirect my ways….. I have someone who wants to marry me but I can’t tell if his the one or not please help

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

10 11 2017
Anonymous
11 11 2017
Editor

You are a wise person

1 11 2017
princess Raponzoh calin

Am also a virgin… the reason is that i don’t want 2 entertain boys with my body

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

20 10 2017
Yemi

Have really learnt a lot from this….
And I know I WL change my ways.

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

31 08 2017
henry nwabueze

Am speechless for now but will be back to write my statement

22 08 2017
Likeableguy

I feel that there is a right man for everyone. U shouldn’t feel bad about anything. Life is about learning. I’m looking for that really person in my life. And hope one day I find someone as good as u.

18 08 2017
anonymous

hi. am 23 and I have been dating a guy for 1 year. the last time I visited him he wanted us to be intimate but I told him am a virgin and would like to wait till marriage. he understood but later we argued and he broke up with me via whatsapp. I don’t know what to do since I love him. help plz

21 12 2017
Blessing favour

My dear i am also a virgin,and i can tell u he does not like u but instead ur body.so stop loving someone like him ok!

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

23 06 2017
Dunno my name

How do I make my boyfriend understand that I love him so much but I’m just not ready for sex yet.

I’m 21 and a virgin. I’ve known him for about two months but we’ve been dating for about a month. He’s really nice, really sweet, He’s basically everything I want and I really love him. He’s more experienced than I am socially, sexually and so on. I’m ridiculously quiet, shy and reserved. The first time I visited him, we kissed and got all romantic but I told him that I’m a virgin and I’m not ready yet. He said I should let someone who loves me disvirgin me (meaning i should let him do it). But I insisted and he stopped.

I was supposed to meet him the next day, He texted me and told me he wants us to make love. I told him I’m not yet ready. I’ve been able to resist his requests for sex. Every time we meet he asks for it. Every single time.

He told me one time that we are not kids, we are adults that we should behave like adults……I should behave like an adult. That he can’t keep doing this. That he has emotions and he doesn’t want to cheat on me but if I keep refusing he might be tempted to cheat.

I feel so pressured. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to loose him. But i want my first time to happen when I’m ready and without one single doubt. I don’t want to regret the day i lost my virginity. I think he’s gradually pulling away from me because of this. Because I can’t give him what he wants so badly. I don’t know how long I will be able to resist the requests.

I fear =>
I might end up having sex with him just to make him happy,
or I might loose him because I couldn’t have sex with him

I don’t know what to do. I love to do. I love him so much. Ive never felt this way about anyone

Any advice?

23 06 2017
Editor

Hi, Dear. You asked, “How can I convince my boyfriend that I love him without having sex? My simple answer is :You can’t! The real question is how you can convince yourself that someone who doesn’t love you for who you are but for what he can get, deos not really love you at all! At 21, you should know better.. You should know that a desperate girl always gets used and dumped in the dust. If you really love this sweet talking fraudster you must be desperate. I have often heard it said that girls become desperate for husband at 20 and above. Well if you are, I can assure you that you will not find any worthy husband by having sex outside of marriage. Hold on to your principles. You will only end up a playtime girl for the boys club if you don’t. If you have sex with him to make him happy, you would be succumbing to threats and intimidation. Real men don’t threaten and intimidate women! If you loose him because of not having sex with him, you should consider it a good thing because you have just got rid of a very dangerous man, a bully. Keep your self respect, be a real adult, wait for the real man who would really love you for who you are, who would respect your wishes and what you stand for. Wait for the man willing to wait for marriage to have sex. Truly beautiful man

22 10 2017
Anonymous

Dont do …he just want sex….if he love you he can wait for that

https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

22 10 2017
Editor

That’s correct

9 09 2018
Anonymous
9 09 2018
Anonymous

girl if u have sex and ur not ready n not married ur inviting the devil into ur life get rid of him n let walk u don’t need him he’s rushing u b4 marriage God will find u someone special jus keep on being patience

27 03 2019
Anonymous

He love’s ur body more than your heart

20 06 2017
NotAGoodPerson

I’m not one to be known for following rules, I’m 16, and I don’t really do much. I don’t get enough attention from my parent’s, which I won’t get into. But every relationship I’ve been in has just flat out sucked. One was a stalker, one was creepily religious, and the most recent one doesn’t text me anymore. I asked him if he wanted to date and he responded “If you want to” That is NOT how you tell someone you wanna go out. He hasn’t texted me in three weeks, and he stood me up on a movie date. A boy that I’ve known told me he’s a real jerk, and then told me he liked me. Assuming from the three week no text, we were over. So I started dating him. Yesterday, things got a little sexual in our chat, and he wanted to come over. He ended up not being able to.
But I said as long as he brought proper protection and the day after pill I’d do it. I figured why not, My life is boring. I can’t go outside, or leave the house very often, I’m home-schooled, and it Sucks. I mean, If it ends up happening it might make my life interesting. That, and I figured no one loves me enough to marry me, and If I ever do make it big like I want, Then I might as well have fun while I’m waiting.

20 06 2017
Editor

Hi, Dear, thanks for writing in. I think you are a very honest girl and that’s what I call being a good person. I can understand your frustrations, but let me share a secret; we are all in the same boat. My life is sometimes very boring too, andsucks, sometimes. What I find helpful is helping others, that is offering others a helping hand with what ever they need. And it doesnt have to be big things, just small small services. I help my Mom in the kitchen, and dad in the garage, and then my brothers and sisters with their school work, and of course my friend with her house chores, and sometimes with her classwork. I sometime go over to help the neighbor prune her garden…etc That, my friend, is how I get rid of my boredom. BY HELPING OTHERS. You see my dear, SELFISHNESS leads to unhappiness. When you are selfish, you cant make friends. People run away from you… because you are all full of yourself and care nothing about them. No one likes a girl who is selfish because she is only out to look after herself. When you are selfish, your parents wont like you very much. Worst, selfish people often go around blaming everyone else but themselves. My dear girl, be nice and kind to the people around you, your parents, you siblings, do the dishes, clean the house and do something kind to someone daily and you will stop being miserable. Having sex will not make you happy, rather it will make you even more miserable than you are already. Men and women who have sex can only be really happy afterwards if they are already very good friends with one another, and best if they are married. If not, they end up hating each other after sex and sometimes terrible things happen. Be a wise girl. I am happy you are a home schooled, get good grades and you will get a good husbands later on in life. Be patient. Don’t engage in destructive things like having sex now, it will ruin you. Wait, be positive and kind to people and they will love you back. You are 16 going to 17. Wait.

4 05 2017
jess

Pls, am 19 years. I met a guy whom i fell in love with, we didnt date but we were friends for about two months but it seemed like we knew for years. Eventually, i dont even know if to call it sex or not but i was a virgin. He penetrated me through my anus( pls dont judge me..am nt proud of it) all of a sudden he stopped talking to me, his friends ignored me. I cant even move freely in the hostel. It seems like everyone knows about how dirty and cheap I am. Pls what should i do?

5 05 2017
Editor

Hi Jess, thanks for sharing your story. You should not have allowed that to happen. Was a mistake, but it doesn’t matter. Forget about it, and get on with your life. If you are Catholic, I would recommend you go see a priest and go for one of those nice things they call confessions, a wonderful remedy for sin instituted by Christ. That way you can be wiped clean of your past sins and restored to purity. Even if you are not Catholic, you should look into that possibility. Secondly, you might want to see doctor to ensure everything is OK. Hiv aids and other sexualy transmitted diseases are easily caught through these kinds of acts. Last, you should not be too concerned about this guy. He is probably one more conman, looking for free kiks, unfortunately he got it so, best you dump that sinking boat and move on. Again in the future, learn from this that not all that glitters is gold. Never allow a man touch you sexualy unless he is already your wedded husband.

13 04 2017
Innocentia

My bfs they want to hv sex with me just because im sexy and viginity

13 04 2017
Editor

Don’t do it Innocentia, you will get hurt, and he would dump you afterwards

7 04 2017
jasmin

it’s very helpful for the teen-ager who losted their virginity…..Nd i advice to all the virgin girl who are in relations…..girls plzzz don’t let ur virginity to loose coz it’s our everything…Nd as after we loose our virginity we feels that life is over……so girl plzzz don’t let ur virginity to go…..

27 03 2017
Romeo harris

Hi am romeo am talking to a girl she 21 she say she loose r virginity at age 7 wit a guy is 7 can DAT haven she not a virgin r she still

23 03 2017
Anonymous

I want to have sex actually. I am 17 and in a relationship, but also a virgin. I don’tthink I will regretit though. Should I go through with it?

23 03 2017
Editor

We all want sex, it’s an animal instinct we carry with us, but unlike animals, sex has a deeper meaning for us. Sex is for a life-long committed relationship of mutual trust. Sex make babies, and you need to be ready with a home, and school fees and feeding for these babies till they are 18, the legal age children stop being a minors. Your are 17. Wait till you can fend for the children from sex, wait for the man that will not sex you, enjoy and dump you. Wait till you are married. Besides, there are issues of disease. During sex exchange of semen, saliva and body fluids take place. That the reason it is best between people married to each other. Sleeping with boys who are sleeping with other girls, carries the risk of serious infection: HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, HPV, and other itchy things that will ruin you and make you suffer. Please don’t.

1 04 2017
Robby

hi dear
what you are going to do is very wrong. you don’t need sex to prove to your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love him or her. sex is best enjoyed in marriage. sex before marriage is bitter. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says he that commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. have you read the stories of other people; some regretting after breaking their virginity, some didn’t even care about those people they slept with; the ones that took their virginity. i guess you love this person are you sure this person is not after your body? i can not decide for you but i can give some suggestions. sex before marriage is a sin. are you going to choose your lover over your God ie to disobey your Father? think about it very well. they say sex is nice indeed sex is nice but its nice when you are married. imagine yourself marrying the person you love in future and to add to it to you are a virgin my dear you will melt your panther’s heart he or she will love you more. what is the assurance that you you two will get married? what is the assurance that he is she is not in for sex. pray to God about this and ask him to direct you. you can also talk to mum or dad or any elderly you can trust about it

1 04 2017
Editor

Good point, Robby, thanks for the advice

12 02 2017
Anonymous

Iam 22 I dated a guy for 3yrs it was a long distance relationship he always pressured me but I always refused but I truly loved him he ignored me at times and cheated on me with several ladies for all those years at beginning of the fourth year he dumped me for another lady who quickly gave him what he wanted it’s one year since he left and am so depressed i even feel like committing suicide course I feel I can’t continue if hes not around for me I thought I did the right thing how do I stop beating myself up and what do I when one day I move on

12 02 2017
Editor

Any man pressuring a girl for sex before marriage is a crook. You are precious to respect yourself and your family.. and your future husband and children by not being a playground for anyone with an animal urge for sex without commitment. You have gained 3 years of experience of who not to date, an invaluable lesson when another man comes to date you. Put the past behind and thank God for delivering you from this conman. Don’t worry about it anymore. Look to the future, your blessing is on the way

7 02 2017
teenage girl

how do I relax my stressed mind and get back to studies .. I cry bitterly every night disturbed … that fellow is mentally torturing me by sending me abusive replies I have stopped messaging him but he said he’ll destroy my life because he treat me like a slut 😦 lost my self respect .. developed an ugly image in person’s mind…

7 02 2017
Editor

When you have sex outside marriage, you hurt yourself a lot, but you hurt your creator more. Pray and Ask his forgiveness. He loves and will forgive you. As for this man, uBlock him, break off every communication.

7 02 2017
teenagegirl

I have already posted a comment i think its not uploaded…

7 02 2017
teenage girl

hi I am 17 I was overconfident that no one could break my virginity and I did it my classmate since he was kind hearted I never felt guilt but revealing this to my bf was my great mistake .. he abused me abysmally, I regret why I lost my virginity before marriage and without thinking i had sex 2times more in next 2 months with 2 differnt persons i.e my xbfs now I am entering in career of chartered accountancy my exams are on verge i.e 20days left but I am regretting and feeling depressed lost self esteem .. yes whatever you guys said is true never have sex before marriage but now that memories make me worry .. I don’t know how to relax myself .. I shared this with my best buddy and got relaxed my mind but I still regret I broke my hymen I ain’t gonna get my virginity again ..
I was going to end my life but I thought why I am leaving for myself and started living for achieving my parent’s dream .. and never going have sex till marriage and be good girl 🙂

7 02 2017
Editor

Thanks for making that decision, wise.

10 01 2017
Ahmed Hussain Muslim

Dear. If your boy friend wants SEX then leave him by showing anyother excuse. Think that I’m not that cheap. Say him I’m not a sex worker. Or say him that you think you shall live alone without any relationship.
….
No. 2. Those girls who are engaged in love must realise that their relationship of this momentary LOVE will indulge them to SEX. So be AWARE. LOVE before marriage IS NOT BETTER THAN A LOVE after marriage.
……
No.3 ”Its better to love a woman that you married already than a woman that you will marry.” Same apply to girls. Because Normally LOVE becomes a Lust (A strong sexual desire)
Beause mostly love becomes a ‘LUST’
….
No.4 Tips to young girls. ”You are like my sisters and mothers. Having sex in love with a boy before marriage is totally illegal into the EYES OF GOD to which you believe in. Having unwanted SEX with your beloved boyfriends does not fix any sort of Bond Relationships but it will rather increase your Lust to have more and more and more sex and then finally you will realize you’re cheap and SEX is LOVE and ”Real Love is not Sex”
…..
No.5. Love your PARENTS, and yourself and your future and do good deeds always and be kind than necessary and LOVE the Guy you married than loving a guy that you’ll marry. Do care about your parent’s love also and seek the will of God. Ameen

6 12 2016
Pooja

Hi I lost my virgin in 22 .but that guy was left me. Finally I got married another.we did sex about 9months and he knew that I wasn’t a virgin. Finally before few month ago he told me that he wants to leave from me. Because I’m not a virgin .

5 12 2016
loveforlife

Hi I’m 23m and my gf 16 we have been in the relationship since 9 months I love her alot and she too, we are in long distance relationship we are going to meet in few day’s, it’s our first meet and im so excited about it,I’m planning something new but she want our first met should be loved and most memorable one so she wants to have love with me. I was thinking about that after marriage but now I feel like I’m in dilemma about what to do I don’t want her to see sad or I don’t want her to think that I don’t love her I want her in my life forever and ever,so could you please kindly suggest me what to do?

5 12 2016
Editor

Dear Lover, please remember that a 16 yrs old girl is still technically a “minor” So you, being the only adult in this relationship, are responsible for what ever happens in that relationship. Help her to understand that sex is too serious a thing to engage in lightly and that it is only legitimate within the bonds of Holy matrimony. My advice to you is to treat her like you would like other men to treat your your own sister. That is if you are truly a man and if you really love her as you said you do, and want her to be your wife in a few years time.

16 11 2016
Young star

Is that normal

3 11 2016
Sunnyrose

Mʏ ɞoʏғяıєňԀ breaked my virginity last month, i felt asleep with 4 times but i dont enjoy making love with him. What can i do to enjoy having sex with him because i really into him. I love that boy, i just felt he’s my world

3 11 2016
Editor

How old are you, Sunnyrose?

14 04 2017
Anonymous

ey can i ask?

14 04 2017
Editor

Sure, you can ask me anything

14 10 2016
Nyamekye

hi. am 19 and would 20 this december i just run into this post but unfortunately for me i have already lost that precious gem of virginity about a week ago to my bf…now i see him as a mistake in my life i regret having to ever meet him..and i hate myself right now, but he has promised me that it would NEVER
happen again. i have been thinking of
leaving this relationship,and avoiding the opposite sex till i think am ready for marriage. But i still love him am i being selfish with this decision (i dont want to look cheap to any guy even though i hv made that mistake with this guy already)
of mine or is it the right thing to do and
one more thing have i lost the glory of God upon my life n also have i lost the chance of being happy with my future spouse by fornicating..pls help me..

14 10 2016
Editor

Nyamakye you are probably a bit confused. You can not see him as a mistake and yet still love him. I think you better make up your mind. Whatever you decide please note that you are are the looser if you are throwing yourself cheap. Have a little patience, finish your studies and you will be married for the rest of your life. Don’t throw it all away

17 10 2016
Bertha Adom

Hello Nyamekye
You have to becareful. Do you think you leaving him is going to solve the problem. But you have to gather yourself and move on in life. Your virginity has been lost and it’s very painful but pray to God and ask Him for another chance but this time around dont fail him. Tryto stop the things that can lead you two to sex. Remember also that you are a child of God so ask God for forgiveness. Try to forget about you seeing yourself dirty but see yourself as a victory. You don’t know what can happen maybe your bf might come asking for sex again no matter how much you love him you don’t have to give it to him but rather talk to him to take the step you have taken. Ask God for directions and He will help u out. Take care dear. May God lead you through amen

17 10 2016
Editor

Bertha Adom, thanks for that wonderful advice

27 08 2016
Zhia Saman

Hi.
I just ran to this post randomly.
I am 16 and been masturbating since i was 10 or 9.
I cant stand not masturbating 1 – 2 times a day.
I really love this girl and talk to her alot and might get into relation. Im only scared of sex since she is crazy and dare-full. Any tips? We been friends since of 5 years ago! Anyways yes i wish i didnt lose my virginity at all i wouldve been 10000 times healthier and had more spare time.

28 08 2016
Editor

Zhia Saman, thanks for writing in. I appreciate your honesty and I think you are a very nice person, but masturbation is not a good thing. It is a selfish way of getting pleasure and it will hinder your ability to form healthy relationships with other people. Studies show that people who masturbate have a hard time relating with other people and often suffer from erectile dysfunction, depression and other types of psychological problems because they are closed in on themselves and can only relate with imaginary images they view in pornography. If you are viewing porn, you need to stop watching pornography because it distorts your mind about girls and turn you into a freak who cannot make friends. Learn to have real Relationships. This is more enriching and demands you become a real man who can talk, share experiences and make girls laugh. If you keep masturbating, you will not be able to make this girl love you, rather you will be a real bore, lacking in confidence and deficient in communication skills. Please read this article that talks about the dangers of pornography http://www.savmen.com/uploads/1/5/4/0/15407114/the_porn_circuit_covenant_eyes.pdf

7 09 2016
Anonym

Don’t worry. Masturbation doesn’t count as losing your virginity. Sex and Masturbation are two different things… And if you really want to masturbate less then the only way is trough your own willpower. I hope your relationship will work out!

12 08 2016
gladys wonderstar

am a girl of sixteen years old probably going to

seventeen by this year October am in a relationship am demely in love wit this guy but the guy is asking for sex knowing fully well am a virgin and I want to keep my self so could this be love or pretence pls I need u guys to help me am really in a state of delima right now that was why I visited this site so I can hear from u guys I will forever remain greatiful for the answer u give today saved a life my life thank u all and pls be fast about ur answers

13 08 2016
Editor

Dear Gladys, you already know the answer. Deep down you know that allowing this guy to have sex with you will not make him love you more. Rather once he achieves what he is looking for, you will be worth far less to him. A mountain once conquered presents little or no attraction

7 09 2016
Anonymous

its better to cut the relationship.If the guy loves u he shouldn’t ask for sex before marriage

7 09 2016
Editor

I agree, Gladys wonderstar

11 08 2016
Barack

I’m a 19 year old boy. I have had sex numerous times just like my other teenage boys. I’m here to simply advice girls. Never Never have sex with a boy if you not ready or if any part of you doesn’t feel like. First seek wisdom and wait until marriage. I am a boy and every time i sleep with a girl, she ends up worthless or the dignity in her decreases.

2 07 2016
winnie

thanks for this wonderful and encouraging ‘information.sincerely i will wait til the right time

2 07 2016
Editor

You are welcome, Winnie. You have made a wise decision.

29 06 2016
nancy

Im 20 n lost my virginity at the age of 17,i regret myself.i want to tell my parents but in scared can i tell dem

29 06 2016
Editor

Hi, Nancy, since it’s such a long time, perhaps it maybe be better to let sleeping dogs sleep. But then, it might help to speak about it with a priest to put some closure. It is entirely up to you

22 06 2016
precious

HI I’m only 16 and dating a guy who is
18. First time we got into a relationship I waz 13 and it ddnt work out so we just decided to break up then we got back together when I waz 15 and we are still dating even now . I really love this guy and I think he loves me too. We have once spoke about having sex and I told him I’m not ready and he asked me when Wil I b ready and I told him when I’m 20. He ddnt seem to hve any problem but everytym we just cuddle together come to positions where we almost about to hve sex. Plz I need advice should I do it or not

23 06 2016
Editor

No, Precious, best wait for marriage.

23 06 2016
Bertha Adom

Hi dear, sex before marriage is wrong but I advise that you stay away from it. Prevent things like kissing and cuddling that will lead to sex. If you fornicate dear you will not be happy and God will not be happy with you. Once you taste it you will like to have more, you can end up sleeping with different men or contract diseases. Prevent things that will lead to sex. You must say no sex dear. Thanks dear. God bless you and lead you to the right path

23 06 2016
Editor

I agree, Bertha Adom

17 10 2016
Bertha Adom

Hi dear
You have to becareful with any step you take. Sex is meant for only those who are married therefore sex outside or before marriage is a sin my dear. You can prevent the wrath of God from coming upon you. You have to prevent the things that can lead you two to sex like hanging out at quiet and lonely places, kissing, cuddling and many more. Love is not all about sex. When they tell you love is about sex its a lie its rather lust and its very dangerous. When you have sex now, the problems that follows is more than you can carry. Focus on God and your studies. After God should be your education. My dear you can talk to mum or dad about it so that they can guide you very well.
Let me tell you truth:
Sex is nice but when you do it at the wrong it is very bitter to the extent that you can even kill yourself. Do you know when sex is nice? When you are married.
Take care dear and be very careful.
Thank you
Grace Bertha

17 10 2016
Editor

That’s an advice worth its weight in Gold

4 06 2016
Idontknow

I grew up in a christian household….i was raised not to have sex and you know the rest…i met this girl we were dating for a while and one night we touched eachother and we felt comfortable and began doing it more…i took her with us on family vacation and from there on out we became more sexually active…we never had sex but we have done multiple other things but i felt like i have lost my sexual purity and also my virginity my view on virginity is when you are sexually active giving oral or whatever you lose it…but i feel depressed and suicidal …i have dissapointed myself and my parents…i ended the relationship because she treated me badly and never acknowledged herself what se sometimes did wrong…a week ago she still spread lies about me even when i said i dont want you in my life anymore she still went on to call me names… i was in a way emosionally abused and i felt used …she was the sexual one in the relationship but my own pleasure and selfish reasoning behind what we were doing in this relationship was fine and we were you know always going to stay with eachother…i feel so guilty and i dont want this to stand in the way of my schoolwork…we both were so comfortable with eachother and in the end she always insinuated that i was the one who is wrong…but we had a absence of communication after all the fighting i always crawled after her like a lap dog acknowledging my wrong doings and never did it again and still she brings up the past making me feel bad se never say that she is sorry…i lied to sometimes go out with my friends and i always ditched them for her because i knew she would get angry if i would go to my friends…she treated me like i was her belonging…i feel so used after everything it seemed it was all for nothing i always treated her like a woman she sometimes cursed at me calling me a fuckup a douche …saying stop thinking life is just about you…and even saying i should never treat her badly again like the time i said she was childish making a scene at school…she always thought she was right…i regret everything deeply…i feel my next relationship would fall because of what i have done…i gave in to pressure and always wanted to please her sexually and emotionally but she never did the same for me

4 06 2016
Editor

Hello Dear, I think you should get over it and face your school work. The thing bout school kids dating and having sex is all wrong headed. You are not yet ready for marriage and won’t be ready for quite a while, so focus on your school work. Passing your exams and getting good grades is the way to be a man when you grow up

1 06 2016
bulelwa

i want to keep my virginity too but i really love my boyfriend so i dont know what to do please give me some tips

1 06 2016
Editor

Dear Bulelwa, read the article and the comments and you have enough tips already. Be a wise girl

21 05 2016
Fortune

All i cn say is remember rahab the jericoan prostitute, her name hits the bible pages several times. But after she dedicate herself to Christ then she fall on the genealogy of the birth of Jesus. To lose vigirnity is not the end of life , thus why Christ died. Give yourself to him, allow him to guide you, BUT WOE TO THE GUYS WHO CHEAT GIRLS THEIR TREASURES

18 05 2016
enid

Ive learnt that losing my virginity to my boyfriend wont make him love me more or stick around & he’s 10 years older than me thank u for ur post

18 05 2016
Editor

You are welcome, Enid

29 04 2016
Kings power

Please there z sumtin i want to know. My girlfrnd told me dat whn she was six years old it seems she had sex wit a guy around her age mayb 7 or 8years and they did that playfully nt knowing what they were doing. So i want to know if possible she was disvirgined then during the act or if she is still a virgin. She is 20years old now and that incident is bothering her wheather she lost her virginity whn she ws jt 6yrs to a boy that was 7 or 8yrs cus she cant remember how the whole tin happened. Please help

30 04 2016
Editor

Hi, Kings Power, nothing to worry about, tell your girlfriend not to worry, no serious sin can be committed by a minor, i.e someone who is 6 or 7 years old, because they simply do not know what they are doing.

4 04 2016
Deborah

I’m 19 and I broke my virginity at 18 with a guy I’m still with. Since that time we have been having sex continously. I love this guy and i dont want to lose him. We just got married legally and it was recently without the knowledge of our parents. Could I be wrong in this decision?

4 04 2016
Editor

Congratulations, Deborah, happy married life. Now you are fully a woman, and wishing you many years of happiness with your man, and many children. No you are not wrong, but it would be proper to inform your parents, and buy your friends drinks to celebrate the occasion.

22 03 2016
unique

Sadly I can relate to this article I’m sixteen and had my first sexual experience about a month ago and now my relationship is nothing like it was at first I don’t understand what changed between us so fast

6 03 2016
Pontsho rasetsoke

I lost my virgin at the age of 16 years , after my boy friend told me that if i did not sleep with him he will divorce me. So i have sex with him after 2 weaks he divorce me . So i told my friend about what happened so she told me to move on with my life and now i don’t want to see any boy next to me.now i want to focus on my school work.

6 03 2016
Editor

Dear, Pontsho Rasetsoke, thank you for sharing your story with us. It is a good example to other girls who are about to fall to the tricks of boys who wish only to use them for their sexual satisfaction. Your boyfriend lied when he said that if you don’t have sex with him, he will divorce you because he could not divorce you since you are not even married to him. Divorce can only happen when people are married and boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is not marriage. It is at best a sentimental relationship that is easily broken without legal consequences as you have experienced. Sex is only meaningful in marriage because sex unites two people in a very powerful way. If sex is had outside of marriage, it is a deception. So, you have made the right choice to face your studies and keep yourself until marriage. Keep that promise and you will have a successful life.

3 03 2016
bxn

I am 18 now, you know hiw teenagers mind work now.. I thought that I was making some kind of mistake by being a virgin still. Thanks to your post I learned a lot about teen age …and the mistakes that a teenager can make..good job. Well done.👍

3 03 2016
Editor

Thanks BXN, you are a good girl. I know you will make a success of your life by simply being wise and discerning. Thanks for your feedback, it is because of you that we continue working hard. We are glad that we have made you learn that virginity till marriage is a treasure that makes for a happy life. Please don’t forget to share with your friends.

19 02 2016
Treasure Samuel

I was force d fist time i had sex, i was just 7days to turn 20.
I went for canceling nd a pastor almost slept with me. pls i want to move on, i refuse 2 date again but i hv to put my mind together cos i well be graduating diz year

20 02 2016
Editor

Hello, Dear Treasure Samuel. Thanks for sharing your story with us. It is an unspeakable crime what these so called pastor do, they are nothing but imposters, pseudo-apostles, fit only for hell. You do well to withhold dating for now, until you finish school and are ready for marriage. Yes, dating is often a cause of distraction and even rape. You gain noting by dating when you are not ready to marry, but you do well to put it off till the appropriate time. Put the past behind you. Your experience with the fake pastor brings to mind what I read many years ago. Never trust any man simply because he claims to be a pastor. Just like you would not trust a mechanic with your brand new car simply because he claims to be one. You normally would ask around, investigate, ask other people’s opinion about this mechanic. Only if you are convinced, and if the testimony of friends are positive then and only then do you give your car to the mechanic. Do likewise when you are looking for a mechanic of the soul.. i.e a pastor. You and I know there many fake pastors. You need to do what is called due diligence, run a background check before trusting anyone. Please read this article of how to find a good pastor> Click http://wp.me/p1MlsC-11a

18 02 2016
Anonymous

i just attempted to have sex @17 but its hard to get off the shock…how can i get over this??

18 02 2016
Editor

Hi Dear, you are toying with the source of life, more powerful than nuclear bomb because it has enough power to generate life itself. Shocking, and equally lethal, don’t do it again, you could ruin your young life, sex is a serious business. This shocking power is only fully contained in marriage. So, wait till you are safely married.

18 02 2016
immie taylor tusyme

this is inspiring.

18 02 2016
Editor

Thanks for your vote of confidence, don’t forget to like us on Facebook, follow us on twitter and the blog..cheers

17 02 2016
fasasi Abimbola

when u lost your virginity did u get pregnant for d first time of having sex

17 02 2016
Shel atty

Thanx 4 dat @lst i wunt mek da mistake

17 02 2016
Akinyi

This is amazing… it has touched me to know I’m not alone….
A lot of my thoughts and feelings have been shared in this post and I have found some sort of closure….

17 02 2016
Editor

Thanks for your comments, Akinyi. We are so happy you found the article useful. Yes, you are not alone, we are with you. Don’t forget to follow us on twitter & Facebook for more. Cheers

15 02 2016
paul kasonde

my cousin just lost her varginity so i dont knw what to tell mom.help me?

15 02 2016
Editor

How old is your cousin, Paul?

15 02 2016
sarah

all tnx to GOD 4 d gift of life,but to tell u d true d most effective weapon d enemy can use against u is u,,pls donot allow urself as instrument for d devil,so many of us av xpirences tins both good nd bad including me,!but rite now i av turn my pains into purpose by forgeting my past.- i lost dis post.tnk u 4 dis i am rilli touch.

15 02 2016
Editor

Thanks for writing in Sarah, may God bless you

14 02 2016
favour

i lost my virginity at d age of 16 nd my conscience had been hunting me… I can’t even forgive myself bt after my encounter wt d master…..my lyf changed though it nt easy.

15 02 2016
Editor

Dear Favor. Marriage protects a woman.Being committed for life, she is free to give herself to her husband without fear of disgrace. A woman who has sex with a man she is not married to always has an agonizing fear at the back of her mind that the man might expose her to the world, revealing her innermost privacy and shaming her. Ultimately, the woman is a always a loser in any sexual encounter outside marriage. This is true.

14 02 2016
Editor

We are happy you like the article. Please “Like our Facebook Page” to get more articles. You can also follow this blog via email, or by clicking follow this blog button.

14 02 2016
nalishebo shabz sansala

while i also lost my virginity when i was sixteen..it was hard to move on with my life..couse i got addicated..sleept with different men..but all has changed when i gave my life to God and he gave me awonderful husband…

14 02 2016
Editor

Hi, Nalishebo Shabaz Sansala, thank you for sharing your story with us and thank God who has cleansed you and forgiven you. His mercy is forever. Your story encourages all of us, especially those who have lost it all. Thank you, you give us new hope, that in God, all things are possible.

15 02 2016
fuckwhores

how do you feel now when looking right in the eye of your husband? Did you ever wish you weren’t such a hoe during those past years?

15 02 2016
Editor

Dear Mr Man, do not judge others because only God knows the circumstances of everyone. The past is past and the present now. If a woman repents of her past life, she may yet enter heaven, even before you and I who are so self righteous.

9 02 2016
Osadeyi mary

Gud advice 4 we tenager ad youth tnx u vry mush,u ar a wiser

9 02 2016
Editor

Thanks for that vote of confidence, Mary. We appreciate that.

7 02 2016
Grace

Thank you so much for this…really learnt so much…

7 02 2016
Editor

You are very welcome, Grace. We are glad it helped

5 02 2016
Anonymous

9c piece.. if only…BT plss encourage those that have it all gone… ders always a new start & a new feeling after repentance… u have 2 first 4give ur self…

4 02 2016
olatosin

I’m 20 still a Virgin and my boyfriend insist we have sex or he’s gone even though I believe he loves me.what should I do

4 02 2016
Editor

Dear Olatosin, let him go and make sure to bang the door on his jackass. I know you love him, but he doesn’t love you, he is just good at what he does, Lying! It would be the best thing you have done, his departure will bring a breeze of clean air into the room of your life so that good, handsome guys ready to marry will come in and dwell.

4 02 2016
eunice adu

it’s true cos I lost my virginity @18to a guy am still with tho ,And since den my boyfriend always luks forward to sex and am 19 nw

4 02 2016
Editor

Thank you Eunice Adu. Your boyfriend now feels entitled to have sex with you anytime. Virginity once thrown away to a guy who doesn’t merit it, who has not paid the price of commitment of loving and protecting you till death, it is hard to regain personal dignity. Dear , stop him using you for his selfish sexual gratification. Send him a strong message that you deserve much more than that. You deserve to be married. Move out and cut sex till your wedding night..good luck

4 02 2016
Sheena Alex

I feel live again

3 02 2016
lesedi

Keep it up guy

3 02 2016
Editor

Thanks, Lesedi. Your support helps us a lot

7 02 2016
Anonymous

tnx a lot to u all, am really impressed

3 02 2016
nancynajnawila

I lost my virginity at 20 ,tho it was not intentionaly the guy did somthing n later i found him wth another .i hated myself i was blamed my self but i thank God for restoring mi,i incourege evry body plz value ur bodies

3 02 2016
Editor

Dear Nancynajnawila, thanks for sharing your story with us. It is sadly true. Guys who are quick to take a girl’s virginity without waiting for marriage are always the worst of men. They are frauds, selfish and deceivers. Among honest, hardworking and generous guys are those who wait until marriage. Don’t let them do it again. Now, forget the past, look to the future and keep these guys at arms length until you find the right guy to marry!

3 02 2016
Magdalene Taluva

tnxz 4 mkin us to knw hw we cn remain chaste

2 02 2016
Perpeeh Michelle

Thanks a whole lot.
I m so grateful.
May GOD bless u.

2 02 2016
elaine

thank u guys for u r giving reasons for virgins to stay virgins and those who hv lost t to find hope in Christ and to continue living

2 02 2016
Editor

You are welcome Elaine, your words are encouraging to us and your prayers are a help to many

2 02 2016
Wornoo Hillary

It’s true and happening. I lost my virginity at age of 16 and it was much guilt though is not wish for such to happened to me but it has just. We girls we do not make ourselves to be desvirgin but it happened so and through dat l got hurt deep inside my soul.l think so much of loosing everything l got in the world and as l made known to my parents !! Al got is in anytime l went wrong. I’m feeling so much desperate right now! !!!.

2 02 2016
Editor

Hello, Wornoo Hillary, thanks for sharing your story with us. You are right, most times, it is due to ignorance that many girls lose their virginity, because they don’t know how much it is worth and the dangers inherent in it. But don’t sad, don’t worry, pray that God will forgive you and give you a fresh heart and new life. Begin again today to live a pure, clean life and God will make you new and bring you to a happy marriage with a wonderful husband. Cheers

2 02 2016
Camfy

I have leant alot of things here on your page and i dont think losing virginity your to anyone is not worth it before marriage.

2 02 2016
Editor

Dear Camfy you are pretty intelligent. We are glad to have helped you discover the truth . Thanks, your words are a great encouragement to us here

2 02 2016
Namupolo

Not taking away from anything you just said, notice how you only address teen age girls, ONLY. It’s almost like they are the only ones affected by premarital sex. Almost like they alone carry the responsibility to remain virgins.

2 02 2016
Editor

Hi, Namupolo, thank you for writing in, we appreciate your comments. You are right that everyone… the mid aged, and matured and even the old are called to live faithfully their commitments in life. Husbands needs to be faithful to wives in marital love, and wives to husband, but virginity is for the unmarried and teen girls and boys are the largest in this category, thus, to narrow down the scope of our research the article focuses on teens. We have written one for married people which is a best seller, here is the link> http://wp.me/p1MlsC-qB

2 02 2016
Hawa Mondeh

thank u for this,u have make me so happy to keep my virginity,I will keep it till I got married

2 02 2016
Editor

Hawa Mondeh, you are a very lovely person, I am happy you have made that decision, it is key to happiness. God will also give you a faithful man as you devoted husband. Just as you will have no memories of any other man as you love him, so will he have no memories of anyone but you

12 08 2016
Ntala professer Shoda

Guyz plz help me i have a girlfriend and i want to brake him his virginity she is 15yrz old i really love him a lot i want to marry him

13 08 2016
Editor

Hello Ntala, Don’t be in a hurry, pls wait after your wedding before having sex with this girl.

2 02 2016
chifuniro

Yu r very wise my dia…thenk u

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