My Advice To Married Couples After Divorcing My Wife Of 16 Years By Gerald Rogers.

23 08 2013

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

You can view the video bellow

How to Become an Epic lover

(From the Editor: We wish  to thank Joachim Cabanyes for sending it  to us for publication,   Joachim Cabanyes is an honorary member of Authors-choice blog.)




1,010 responses

16 08 2020

Wonderful written article.

Just a suggestion: Read this book written by Jimmy Evans …

Marriage on the Rock, 25th Anniversary Edition
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While many people desperately want a marriage that works, fewer of them really believe they can experience success. In this book, leading marriage expert Jimmy Evans discusses practical real-life challenges and offers easy solutions on how to have a healthy and thriving marriage. Whether you’ve been married for years or are just preparing for the journey, Marriage on the Rock is the essential resource that will transform your relationship.


• Why no person can meet your deepest needs
• How to make marriage a top priority
• How to understand and meet your spouse’s needs
• The different ways men and women communicate
• How to achieve maximum sexual satisfaction
• Skills for raising great kids even in a blended family

12 01 2018
Michael Anaya

I agree and i basically got comfortable so i didnt do the small things. I made many mistakes, In our 14 year marrige. I wish i would have seen this earlier. I swear to god the mistakes i made wont be repeated by me. I do understand where i went wrong hell i didnt do anything right. Its a shame my next wife will get the goods tina paid for. I have no regrets my next marrige will be almost perfect i hope. Lol I will never give up on love. I hope Tina dont because she has the most beautiful smile i have ever seen. Wish i had seen it more.

12 01 2018

Hi, Michael, it’s never late to go back and say sorry if you can

9 11 2017
5 09 2017

As I sit and contemplate how to explain to my husband why I’m filing for divorce, this piece of information touches every reason why I can’t do it any more. I’m going to print this out knowing that he can’t read, but believing that he will one day take the time to learn and understand.

4 09 2017
Angie Matthews

You give your soul to God not to woman or man. I think if men would treat their wife’s better they would never part. I have seen marriage that last 50 – 60 one was close to 75 and they all loved each other to know end. Always put God first both man and woman and you’ll spend eternity together.

11 07 2017

This is very awesome and some true stuff being said

8 07 2017
Cory Hills

Thank you! This is so beautiful and heartfelt.

8 07 2017
Susan Fleetwood-Turner

This was awesome and I would love to share my works of poetry surrounding love, hurt, harm, broken trust and abuse

29 06 2017

I think this is good advice for both men and women! If both strive for this…you will have something awesome!

3 06 2017

Everything I read was all about making all things about her. A relationship should not be defined by pleasing one person. This article seems to imply that a man can have a successful relationship by worshiping the woman. Women value strength in a man, clear thinking, forward mobility, good decisions, courage and powerful intimacy and financial security.

10 07 2017

This is his own personal experience and why he felt his marriage didn’t work on his part, basically he wanted to be the king for his queen but at a time didn’t know how to be doesn’t mean that women aren’t going to be the queen for their king so 😒 Stop making everything sexis

4 04 2017
Daniel Hoffman

Awesome summary how to have successful marriage. Every husband should read this. I also learned this wisdom too late.

16 03 2017

I feel you, Brother………….
HOWEVER, if you have a spouse who cannot or will not get past her own childhood issues and also has the notion that it is YOUR JOB to make her ” HAPPY ” then you will not be able be the husband you aspire to be no matter how hard you try. When you are constantly blamed for making her feel angry, bitter or insecure and you’ve done nothing to deserve those labels….. you start to feel imprisoned and you walk around on eggshells hoping and praying that you don’t have a misstep that sets them off., one reason that I take acception with the
” Happy wife, Happy life ” cliche…….
Because if she is not a happy person to begin with………. she’ll never develop into a happy wife, therefore a happy life is a virtual impossibility.

16 03 2017

Hi Snoop! I think you actually MADE his point, “happy wife, happy life.” She is obviously NOT happy and so your life is not happy as well. That does NOT mean it is your job to MAKE her happy, only that you are to be conscious of reasonable needs of an intimate relationship. However, setting healthy boundaries will help a person determine when is what I’m doing (or not doing) part of the problem, and when is what I am doing or not doing NOT part of the problem (although a controlling, manipulative person will ALWAYS blame you.) Its about YOU being healthy enough to see the difference, if that makes sense. WHat I got from this post is that he had a realationshp that COULD be saved but HE was not doing what he needed to do and he recognizes that in retrospect and is sort of “warning” others to be a good spouse. For those of us who have been at the receiving end of an abusive person, it is a bit offensive because we have indeed done everything and more that could be asked of us and it was still not good enough. I am healthy and whole now (after 27 years of “marriage”) and my husband has made a LOT of changes in how he treats me and his whole attitude for that matter. I had to leave for several months, however, for that to happen. MInd you, I didnt leave to MAKE it happen. That is not MY rpoblem I left so I could heal and become healthy and learn about the abuse cycle and how to set boundaries and what to do if those boundaries were not respected, phew! But it was worth it. Usually it does NOT work out that way, and I do feel blessed. I just dont want someone else to feel guilty if their spouse did not make any chabges. It is on THEM, not on the person who has spent so much time and effort trying to “please” that other person. To be free of fear and guilt is worth all the effort. Blessings to you! If you are still dealing with this issue, I highly recommend Boundaries by Henry Cloud and a book called No more Walking on Eggshells, by I cant remember. Both excellent help!

17 03 2017

Hi, Debby

18 05 2017

Snoop how does that “you’ve done nothing to deserve those labels” . . . . thing work? And what labels and u referring to? Oh and this was a great read.

11 02 2017
Anitress Johnson

I read every bit of this story n it is so touching n every woman would love for their now husband’s n ex- husband’s to had went by. Mine husband is always trying his best, surprising me, keep me wondering whts his next surprise! Leaving me beautiful thank u cards on the bed. Listening to me, when I want to leave town buy me why I need to go. Without calling me every hr on the hr. No jealousy at all. Washed dishes, do laundry, buy household supplies. Ask me & the girls how did our day go at school or work. Give massages, will wash my hair, buy my personal hygiene things, listen n give great advice. Just my soulmate taking on everything while going to attend church to hold family together. Been together 15 been married 2 years. N he always says he’s working to do better. In no way is this marriage perfect there’s some big struggles n pain we’ve been thru. But we made it, stuck together n came out fighting again. N were still together. Luv my teddy bear. Ur story is inspiration. Thx u

11 02 2017

Thanks for your contribution Anitress Johnson, you are one of the lucky few, and your words, I am sure, would help many less fortunate.

20 01 2017

After 15 years, I failed at #2 8(

18 01 2017

Men, I believe I done just about everything you wrote about and yet after 12 years of marriage my wife decided that she was not happy, separated for 8 months and going true divorce now.

2 05 2019
dimetri watt

This advice will be short but It will save you a lot of hurt. Read the rational male by rollo tomassi. then come back here and thank me. also sorry to hear what happened man

21 10 2016

Beautiful, Can they remarry, or has too much happened. I hope they fix what ever was wrong and do it again.

23 08 2016

If you’re commenting, “what about the woman?” you’ve probably missed the point of this article. It’s written from a man’s perspective and it gives other men insight on how to be a better husband, lover, provider, protector, friend. It doesn’t state what the woman should do because it’s not written for women. Of course, there are similar responsibilities for women in a relationship, but this man can’t speak for women. There are however, many of valuable articles out there which speak to how women can be better partners in a relationship and how they can take greater care of their mates, but this article isn’t one. Let’s appreciate the article for what it is without getting defensive.

17 08 2016

Thanks Joachim for the research will is si handy,both for those in courtship and those in a divorce dilemma. You may not have answers for everyone but no one will miss a point of assistance,God bless you. Missionary protas Chimwani Bulinda- Lodwar.

15 08 2016

What a fantastic and purpose driven message! Man! Kudos to you G for one, taking the time to reflect and reveal. It is to be hoped that this message will manifest in all of us and one at a time heal and bring us back to where we began. Also, kudos to those men, like myself, who can admit their shortcomings and to those women that support their men in recognizing (women and a God given talent called intuition), when the ship has gone ashore. Gerald makes all great and relevant points. Take it from him and to add, from me being a married man for 14 years. My wife is my second girlfriend. Not to say I haven’t had connections with women before, but I was one who wanted the world to know me, but never really letting anyone know my true feelings about me either. My wife loved and paid attention to me and figured it out. My father was a outgoing man and flirted with all the ladies from the grocery store or gas station. I, in turn, am the same way. I have never stepped out on my wife but have crossed (her) the line a time or two. Gerald is right about “the plan.” We all have one. Who I am now is not who I was 30 years ago. Our needs and wants do and will change. I am grateful for Gerald for this as it serves me to always protect her heart and my own too. She is my better half as she may say the same about me. Can’t say this enough Gerald, thank you and may the source of your strength continue to bestow good health and peace of mind upon you and all that read this.

3 08 2016

I believe what I see, but I would like to know what part does a wife own, If she does not respect her husband?

3 08 2016

Can’t agree with you. Yes, we change, but that’s the way you described your love or marriage is to make her happy and only her. Marriage is not a 50/50 split. It’s 75/75 you give and she gives…your sad cuz you lost your partner. And that’s understandable, I did too, 16 years together. Maybe my experience is completely different from yours…however, why do women want us to change? Or why should we ask our woman to change? We loved then because how they were or are and they did too…

You’re justifying her actions and how she felt about you, which it sounds like or you’re admitting to doing some wrong. Women have a plan and if you’re not part of that plan after a while then you’re out. Plain and simple. Men are known to be cheaters, and so on, but what about women? They have a lot to play on the relationship, if they don’t get the attention they want after a while they seek it somewhere else. It’s in there nature and that’s when you’re out.

They can’t help it…they want romance, but you ask a women what’s romance to you and they’ll say I don’t know. They want the knight and shining armor…wtf is that? A man that opens a door, or buys dinner? Any guy can do that, but when that’s over, then what? You are just like any other guy out there, not the shining armor she wanted.

Men are simple minded and we will do what is expected; text, tell our women we love them and do those things that women don’t want to do or can’t do, romance, men’s view. But you’ve done all that and now is old, repetitive. And know you have to come up with something new, change. As men we don’t ask our women for much; we don’t need romance, or gifts or those things that women seek.

Again, women change. And if you don’t change with them they will find it somewhere else.

Remember men are hunters and women are gathers, they want things and if they don’t get it they’ll find the hunter that will give it to them, until he can’t provide that and his out of the plan.

So, you tried and did all you could, but at the end you were out of the plan long time ago…

3 08 2016

Damn, that was the most spot on description I have ever heard. I am 4 years into marriage and I am starting to feel that pull away from me she is doing as well. When we first started dating it was about love and care…but now it’s all about the finances and what we don’t have (3 stall garage, in ground pool or a 6 figure income. We don’t even need that since we don’t have any kids and she doesn’t want them now. She goes to her friends and when they all hangout all they talk about is money and what they have or don’t have….gatherers. I am not an alpha hunter I guess since I am not an exec…

20 09 2016

He was not justifying any actions or stating why only men should change or saying leading to how he lost his marriage. He actually states it’s not man’s job to change her. Just as its not her job to change you. What he meant by changing was for each spouse(implied) to be open adjust with each other through life’s changes. So to choose to love each other through those changes in life. You won’t be the same person in 5, 10, 15 yrs etc. So yea do that. Sounds like you have dealt with women who are unsure of what they want and it may be because they have had alot of experiences with guys like you and they don’t know what they love to receive from a man. A man has never given it to them. No fault to you. Maybe noone has showed you either so you dont know how to give it and maybe not receive it. I know I wasnt but I had good boyfriend earlier in life. I dont know if now youre still angry, maybe still hurt and its the womans fault and you have yet to accept your part in failing relationships as he has. He has peace thus can write his truth. Let’s respect him for his truth. Have you ever loved/trusted someone enough to tell them you just dont know love. The right person will grow your love together. Enough with this hunt caveman stuff. We are women not animals in the wild who need to be tamed. We desire love without pain. Words without disrespect. Trust without unfaithfulness. Desire without lust. Touch without bruising. We desire your protection, strength, amd to know when you loves us your heart loves us to life. We are tired of fighting the image your talking about that society has plagued us with and so you lump us in that image but thats not who we are. I want to be known as obviously me, I and better for you to know me just for. Not based on the image you have or the rumors you heard. Know my story. You may find that your chapter belongs in my book (figuratively)..but for the right one literally…
Back to the article regretful he lost his marriage for whatever reason and did love his wife, what he did do is reflect on some things he learned. That’s it. Just some things he could have done differently and maybe some things he didn’t do and wish he had. That’s it. Just as black as the ink. It’s not for us to take and twist because of our insecurities. And trying to find an article to agree with or shred to pieces on we don’t. If you can’t see what he is saying as simply put as it is then it wasn’t meant for you. However I pray you will find what you’re looking for our you will gain the courage to write your own truth just as he did.
I loved his post and maybe its just not for where you are in your life to get out of it what he was saying. Although I’m a woman there were some things I can learn from this myself. Cause I see this as a love article. When married neither spouse should stop working to make things better. There are things I thought about from jump for myself. When he talked about the husband constantly dating the wife. As a wife I should keep myself attractive(physically, mentally spiritually) to my husband so he will be excited to date me. Like I said it’s a simple straight to the point article and if you are open and in a place too receive growth you can see it here.God bless you brother.

24 07 2016

Good stuff

16 07 2016
Rita Terry

Went through divorce this year, difficult process, pride was the enemy on both parts.

14 07 2016

My wife sent me this…..after we had a very traumatic fight. I read it, well read without reading, saw one of the comments saying well the wife needs to behave the same way, agreed….went to a counseling session on my own and thought some more and hopefully have now started to understand. Thank you for writing this and I hope you find happiness. Thanks also to my wife for forwarding this to me…even though it is painful to acknowledge one’s faults and failings and very easy to blame others that is not the solution. I have left this page open on my phone’s browser and try and reread pieces of this each day.

14 07 2016

I have met many good men, but rarely have I found any so good to admit their fault, take steps to change, and are grateful to those who helped them realize their error. Andrew you are a rare gem! Many a married woman will wish to be in your wife’s shoes. I wish you every happiness as you struggle to be better and better. Cherio!

10 07 2016

O M G. What wonderful words of wisdom. I wish I had this years ago. But now I am a Christian and this time made a covenant with God when I made a commitment to my husband.There were times I wanted to throw in the towel but when I prayed to God to release me from this marriage He never answered. Than I had a prophesy that God sees my tears and He is working it out. I live by these points I just read and God grace. But love must be the trump card in all marriages. If you truly love each other these words about marriage will keep you until death do you part they are real and workable and pray for patience and a stronger commitment. Love hides a multitude of sins like each other’s faults. Turns those negatives faults around by looking for the good that he has. No one is perfect. You can change partner, but they to will have faults but!! may be different ones. So if you are married print these points and put them on your fridge so you both can read it but more importantly live them together.This is sound advice we know it we say but we must live it together. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom that are so practical for loving your spouse and living in a happy marriage. Don’t believe marriages are 50–50 % the percentages change in given situation you must give and take. Pick your battles. But remember the battle is not your it is the Lords. The devil will use our bodies as hotels living free and causing havoc in our marriages When you see behavior that will cause an argument it is the devil raring his ugly head. Just say get the behind me Satan and give it to God. Ignore it but we have to address it that human nature. No learn no ways to deal with the problem or issues. Be the bigger person and say this is not the time to confront this. Don’t play into the devil’s hand. Beat him at his own game. It does take practice but with these points you can do it. Shalom. Julia.

10 07 2016

Thanks for enlightening us, Julia. Your words helps us all

8 07 2016
Kenneth Wiggins

Wow! I agree wholeheartedly w/ the Author. In Essense, if you practice what the Author is Recommending, then I believe that your Marriage Can, and Will Be Successful. Yes, I speak from Personal Experience, like the Author. Family, Friends, and Others; Male and Female; Engaged Couples, Newly-Weds, and Seasoned Married Couples, Can ALL GROW and LEARN From this Wonderful Message. Thanks Mr Gerald Rogers for Sharing.

8 07 2016

These words ring so true. And I’ve found the man who embodies all of this. Unfortunately he’s not my husband and he’s married as well. No, we never had a relationship, but we are close enough that I can tell.
His wife is the luckiest girl in the world and doesn’t even know it.

7 07 2016
Jeffrey Sykes

Wonderful story, but remember the highway of love and marriage(my sisters)
is a two lane highway.

7 07 2016

This couldn’t have come at a greater time. Seems like the words you have written is like the echo of my voice as I speak to my husband. I have only been married a year and a half and all the points were on point (pun intended). Thank you for being so transparent.

7 07 2016

Thank you for writing in, Erika. I hope that this article will help your husband follow the wise path.

7 07 2016

I truly enjoyed this article. As I read the words, I found myself not thinking about myself as a wife and wanting these things for me, rather the entire time, I was thinking about how these are the principles I need to commit to, as a wife, in the treatment of my (future) husband. The work and commitment starts now…There’s nothing I want more than to be a great partner and wife! Thanks so much for sharing what you learned through your loss. God bless you.

7 07 2016

Thank you, Monica. You have the rare practical mindset possessed by only few but highly successful people

7 07 2016

This is the real s*** for any man myself going through a divorce has read in a long time

7 07 2016
Sylvia freeman

Well said

6 07 2016
Alma Arrington

I loved these words and have lived much of them the 33 plus years I have been married. Now I’d like to use your beautifully articulated words of wisdom to pass to my children in hopes that when they do decide to marry they will have these words to guide them in a successful, long lived marriage. Thank you for sharing.

7 07 2016

Alma Arrington, thanks for your comments. I hope that this article will help your children become as wise as you are.

6 07 2016

Amen you learn when it’s to late

6 07 2016

Deep !!!!

5 07 2016
Shamerra Glover

Wow, that’s all I have too say.

5 07 2016

Idk mines getting ready to go sour!! For the worst!!

6 07 2016

There is yet hope…put your all in..and most of all PRAY!

4 07 2016

I read this and this is deep.It gave me something to think about. I will keep this in mind and follow it to the fullest. Thank u and God Bless.

4 07 2016

Thank you, Stanley, you are good man, and I wish this article will help you make your marriage a happy one.

3 07 2016

This is a beautiful read! I agree with everything you said as a wife reading. I would love to hear your advice on what a husband needs too.

3 07 2016

Thank you, Tahira. Simply reverse the pronouns and you will have it.

3 07 2016

What is amazing is that even in the loss of marriage, God was able to give counsel through him to help others. As a minister who is also in my 2nd and final marriage,’ because this one will work.’ I tell folks that marriage is not for Lazy people. You also need a spirit of adventure. Love is available especially if it is reciprocated.I pray God heal the wounds of a bad marriage and bring unity to those who desire Love…

26 06 2016

This came two years too late for me. Good read!

23 06 2016

I enjoyed this report. All my youth, adulthood, now considered senior, I’ve wanted marriage but it seems I find love but when it comes to marriage the men hv too much baggage/issues to start a marriage. Their lives before we got together is too complicated.

16 06 2016
Janet James

Great advice hoping it will beread shared and put tinto practice Lots of couple after a while begin to tale each other for grsntrd marriage should be a life time of courtship and romance and it does not take a lot of money to do Constantly think how u can make ur partner happy Being thoughful.considerate. and never go to bed angry with other communicate and be willing to listen and compromise if u have to

12 06 2016
Alice L. McKay

This article touched my spirit. I divorced my husband of almost 15 years for the very reasons written about here. Thank you so much for sharing this. Maybe I will be a better wife, if I ever get married again. Women learn so much about love when we listen to a man who isn’t afraid to admit where he went wrong. Thanks again.

12 06 2016

Thanks, Alice

18 06 2016

Your comments mirror my own experience. Divorce is very ugly and it’s repercussion. Another suggested that a man lead his family on his knees…in prayer, because the responsibility requires it. Best to you.

9 06 2016

Dude you divorced her…why are you going back and regretting your decision now? Did you have an epiphany? Are you wanting her back now? Why did you do it in the first place if you were supposed to treat her in all these ways? Are these the standards SHE required of you? Maybe that’s why you made the right choice and left then.

3 06 2016

This is the most amazing thought for a man to have or even think. I lost mine after twenty two years. Still feeling the pain , separated for almost two years. I diffently feel the pain.

2 06 2016

Awesome read I felt every word and young couple could learn from this

1 06 2016

With all that, my question is what the heck do you require her to do?

9 06 2016

When you pick a man, you will do ANYTHING for him. When he lies and cheats, bye.

31 05 2016

Understood thanks for the lesson, point noted.

30 05 2016

Never underestimate the ability of a women. I’m 35 yrs in and I promise you that if ur making me less than what I value myself… I’ll stay, but I’m going to do what I need to do to feel my worth.

29 05 2016
David E Hall

Well Said!

28 05 2016
Christine Sampson

So true

27 05 2016

well too late FOR ALL that now big dawg. ..too late…should have thought about all that before now..

27 05 2016
Don McInnis

Why did you bother with this long winded s**. I was married 46 years when my wife died suddenly. The key to a successful marriage is simple; ALWAYS PUT YOUR WIFE FIRST. BLOODY ANY A** THAT MAKE FUN OF HER. She has been gone 18 years now and it still seems like it just happened. Each day I wonder why and get through the day.

2 06 2016

My husband just passed away April 3rd ’16… and I don’t think I’ve really accepted it yet to even get to the grieving part! I always wonder what will become of me when the harsh reality finally hits😢
But to hear that after 16 long years the thoughts are ever present…. Makes me feel hopeless😢😢

2 06 2016

We are deeply sorry to hear of your husband’s passing away, sweetheart. May his gentle soul rest in peace. No words can express the loneliness you must feel right now, all I can say is be strong, your husband would want you to be strong. When the grieving hits hard, remember we all love you, and wish we could be there right now to hold your hands, tell you everything will be fine. May God bless you and keep you strong and if there is anything we can do, please ask

8 06 2016

So sorry for loss, hoping you find another love just as great whenever you open your heart.

9 06 2016

Sorry for your loss.

26 05 2016

Very powerful to hear this from a divorced many

26 05 2016


25 05 2016

Thank you for your insight.

24 05 2016
magnie wiltshire

great advice thank wishing you all the best

24 05 2016

U said it all really touching it is for every lover to learn thx u for sharing god bless you

24 05 2016

I agree. And the same applies in the other direction.

24 05 2016

Awesome read…. balanced with the wife’s responsibilities too………. its perfect….. trust healing and happiness will soon fill this mans heart again.

24 05 2016

Thank you for your insight and honesty. There is a lot of wisdom in what you say, and wives can take away from it also. Then wives need to add respecting their husband. I hope you find a woman who appreciates you.

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